Tips for adoption home studies?

Question

My partner and I are preparing for the adoption home study process. The initial paperwork was just sent out today so we are in the VERY early stages. Im looking for any tips on getting through the process in once piece from people who have been through it or people who work in the field. Thank you!

Answer 1

Be honest and don't be afraid.  A social worker isn't going to go through your closets or run a white glove over your bookcase.  Try to relax and be yourselves.  

Good luck!

Answer 2

No advice, but just wanted to tell you that poster was wrong. The  FBI does NOT do background checks on people who are adopting. Those checks are done by hired investigators.

Answer 3

I was so excited the day we got our homestudy documents in the mail.  We were finally getting somewhere!  Then, I opened the package and saw everything we had to do.  It seemed so overwhelming, and I went from feeling excited to feeling like a huge boulder was on my chest and we would never accomplish what we wanted.  Look through everything that needs to be done, put them in the order of how long they take, then tackle one thing at a time.  Do not stress yourself by feeling everything must be done at mock speed.  For instance, background checks may take awhile to come back, so do those first.  While you're waiting on those, tackle some other paper work, set up your home visits, get your classes in, etc..  Just take one thing at a time and you will get through it.  Enjoy the education and enjoy working with your social worker.  It's not as intimidating as you think it will be.  Now, it seems eons ago that we had all that in front of us, and we have our amazing daughter.  You will get there, too.  Good Luck!

Answer 4

Be 100% Honest and Real.... Remember that it takes time and you want your worker to really know who you are that way things just go much smoother.

Answer 5

We recently adopted and did our home study last fall.

One good tip is if you are required to get the FBI clearances for your state, to send those in first, before you do anything else. Those can take several weeks to come back. But if you want them to come back faster, you can write on the lower left corner of the envelope on the outside that it's for adoption and the date you need it by. I think I put something like "For Adoption, deadline 10/1/07" and gave them two weeks. I received it back within a week.

Also, don't stress out too much about the whole experience. The visits with the social workers aren't a big deal. They aren't looking for reasons to keep you from being a parent, they're looking for reasons to make you a family. The questions we had to answer were very minimal. I was prepared to tell way more than they asked!

Answer 6

Be honest....straightforward and do not under any circumstances try to hide or embellish the truth.

Be yourselves and you will do just find. They are not looking for perfect....they are just looking for people who will make good parents.

Answer 7

My advice is DON'T WORRY!  Be yourself, 100%.  I worried way too much (and I don't know if it's even possible not to worry), and the worrying did absolutely no good.  Good luck!

ETA:  Justine, as sick and wrong as that is, I laughed my @$$ off!  Thanks for that!

Answer 8

Most people do not think of baby proofing or kid proofing their house until a child arrives.  Make sure you do it before the home study because you want to be prepared in advance.

And always be open and honest.

Answer 9

Your fingerprints do go through the FBI (just like they do at any bank you may work at) - perhaps thats what the previous poster meant

Answer 10

Just wanted to note: we were very scared of the homestudy process initially....scared of what they would ask, what we would say wrong...etc.

Our homestudy advocate explained it this way:

Her entire job is to help to place children in the right family for the child. There are many children that will not fit into your family and children that you cannot adequately take care of. Her role is to clarify all of the information you give her...not to tear you apart or to quiz you, but to best assess your family, relationships, home, extended family, pets, etc....so that the child coming to your home will have a happy placement. In that way, she is your advocate...she is working for you in the sense that she sums up your overall family and lifestyle, for the best placement of the children in need of a good home. When we heard that explaination, it was a weight off of our shoulders....as they aren't trying to disqualify you, but find the best possible match for the child,.....good luck!!

Answer 11

Have home clean and organized.  With a specific place for the infant or child.  Have saftey equiptment installed or ready to be installed on cabinets, toilets etc.  Have a fire extinguisher in place.  Also, have plan in place: time off work, who will keep child during work hours, pediatrician you plan to use.  Also know what your insurance covers and when the child will be covered.

Answer 12

The home study is really a simple process, however make sure you and your partner are there because they will as you both questions together and seperate. Make sure everything is safe for a child. Make sure you do not reveal anything because remember they are doing a background check through the FBI and nothing is withheld. Keep all the proper papers they request close to you are organized and do not have to search for anything. I sure hope this helps and good luck to you both.

Answer 13

BE WHO YOU ARE...............YOUR OWN SELF!

Answer 14

i just wanted to comment on the FBI issue.. my husband and i both had to sign and consent to FBI background check in the even that we pass initial screening for foster or state adoption... so i know that in Oklahoma at least, you do have a FBI background check as well as OBI

Answer 15

Forget about what everyone else is saying, you should never be too open and honest with any government-appointed workers.  Be as deceitful as possible and lie, lie, lie.

I've heard that social workers are usually big stoners, so when she first arrives make sure to offer your best weed. The chronic, not the skunky stuff.  

If booze is more her thing, offer a stiff cocktail, and a couple lines of coke from the Scarface-sized pile of blow on your coffee table.

In the bedroom, be sure that all your p**n is prominently displayed, especially the kinky S&M and barely legal stuff.  Leave all the fun "toys" out, too, the social worker should see you know how to be playful. ; )

Don't bother cleaning the house, you don't want to appear too anal.  A week's worth of dirty dishes and a month of dirty laundry should suffice.  Also, the meth lab in the kitchen will show your fully self-supporting.

Make sure that in the bathroom your Haldol and Thorazine are prominently displayed.  The social worker will be impressed that you are getting help for those pesky voices in your head!

Don't forget a tour of your bunker with the impressive assortment of assault rifles and handguns. She'll be happy to know you and your fellow Brothers of Liberty are well prepared for a civil uprising.

And, last but not least, it's always a good idea to invite your parole officer over the day of you home study so that you can introduce him to the social worker.  He can help explain the whole "assault with a deadly weapon" charge.  

Best of luck to you!