Tips on improvement?

Question

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/775977/blooming_brains.html?cat=42

what do you think of this poem? Any tips for improvement?

Answer 1

It is a nice poem, well written.  My only comment is gramatically, I don't like that their is a comma at the end of every line.  Unless it is meant to "look like" rain, in which case leave them there.