Tips on teaching my 2-year-old not to make a huge mess at meal and snack time? He throws and dumps his food.

Question

I know toddlers are messy. But he usually will somewhat listen to my "don't do thats". But when it comes to meal time, he won't listen. I've told him no a million times. I've taken the food away. I've explained to him why he shouldn't throw food on the floor and at the walls, and dump his snack bowl in the living room. He just won't stop. Meal time has become a fight between me and him. Any ideas on correcting this or is it just a longggggggg (over a year now) phase that they all go through? Because I could seriously spray my kitchen down with a hose after each meal.

Answer 1

give him small portions at a time and less messy foods and dont let him know how frustrated you are, he may be doing it so that he can watch and be entertained at how your reacting.  

Answer 2

Don't take the food away -he probably thinks you are playing a game with him.  This can lead to anxiety and frustration (which causes him to throw the food).

Just wait until when he is really really hungry, then feed him.  He won't be dumping any food out then.

Answer 3

You could try to give him extremely small portions.  Like a bite of meat, and a bite of veggies, etc.  Then once he eats that give him a couple more bite fulls.  It also will not be very fun for him to only drop a bite full of food on the floor.  This might be very tedious, but at least you won't have to clean after each meal.

Answer 4

i've never had such trouble with my son, but he adores food, and he wouldn't waste any from his plate - no way!

maybe your toddler doesn't like the food you're preparing? does she do it with all food? isn't she a keen eater?

apart from this, i think the hints others gave you on discipline are great! you have to show her who's the boss!

Answer 5

my son did this also. he is 2 1/2 now and i tell him if you spill your food you do not get anymore.  then i follow through.  when he spills it is taken away and he doesnt get to have anymore.  he is also excused from the table for a time out.  this works great now.  i just remind him before every meal that if he spills it will be taken away and he doesnt do it as often.  we still have sliip ups but not as often.  and i try to be firm without showing how annoyed or mad i am.  less reaction is best! good luck!

Answer 6

you've tried "explaining" something to a 2 year old?!?!? LOL.  you need to learn some disciplining techniques (i.e. actions have consequences), not reasoning skills.

Edit:  believe me, i know perfectly well how intelligent two year olds are, I have four children.  he may listen to your explanations when he wants to, but apparently he doesn't want to over this issue.  that is called a self-willed child.  he is going to battle you over certain things he simply doesn't want to do and you need to be consistent in your parenting techniques to ensure that he understands that YOU are in charge, not him, not ever.

Answer 7

It's definitely a phase.  Been there, done that.  Some grow out of it quicker than others.

With my youngest, I got a little smarter... I made HIM help me clean up the mess.  I told him he had a choice:  don't make a mess or clean up the mess he makes.  He only did it a couple of times before he realized how disgusting it was.  

It's important that he cleans up the whole mess - right down to the paper towel to wipe up wet messes.  It's hard to just stand there and watch, but it's a very important part of the lesson.

Hope this works for you as well as it worked for me!

Answer 8

This is usually for attention. Do you give him any sort of attention after he has done this?

When he has thrown it, look at him and say in a loud clear voice '(his name here) its NOT ok to throw food. Mum has to clean it up now, because you threw it' And pick it up.

IHe difinitely will do it again, because as you said, he doesnt listen. This time, dont make eye contact with him, and without showing any emotions at all, pick up the bowl and place it back on the table. Dont make any eye contact with him, or say anything.

When he does it again, dont even pick it up, until he is out of the room where he cant see you. Just say '(his name here)I dont like it when you throw your bowl'

If he continues to do so, tell him that every time he throws his food, he will get a punishment. Heres some ideas:

2 minutes in the naughty corner (however many minutes in the corner depends on the childs age. E.g. 3 years old gets 3 minutes, 4 years old hets 4 minutes etc.)

One toy gets put away for every time me throws his food. Make sure he can see thatyou are putting it away, because if he doesnt know you've hidden it, he most likely wont notice its gone.

If nothing else works, i guess its just the Terrible-Two's stage, which cant be avoided.

If his behavior is very odd, this could be linked to Autism, ADD or ADHD. You might want to go to the doctors to get it sorted out. I really doubt this is serious, though. Obviously stressful, but its probably just a phase.

xx

Answer 9

Consistancy is key as Im sure you know. I dont think it will completey stop for a while yet, after all they are toddlers. But when my toddlers done this we have taken the food away and said no, very sternly and we will sit with him to watch him. Everytime he tried to flip the bowl or plate we put it back down. And said NO again and then after that tapped the top of his hand if he tried. Seems to have worked pretty well. Also hes old enough to help clean up his mess, he makes it then he needs to pick it up and throw it away and help wipe it. He may do it more at first but once the novelty of helping wears off he will probably stop doing it. Good luck I know its frustraiting but this too shall pass, lol~  

Answer 10

I am the mom of 4 children and when they deliberately dumped or threw their food, I took it away from them. Once the rest of us were finished eating they got to help clean it up. Even a one year old can help wipe up a mess with supervision. I did not offer them anything else to eat until the next meal.

It was a short lived stage and they all have excellent table manners now. Just choose your own way of dealing with it and stick to it. Good luck!

Answer 11

Every kid is different, but you could try giving him a small amount of food, and trying to explain to him he has to be neat. The second he intentionally makes a mess, that meal is over. Maybe wait an hour to feed him again. You want him to regret making the mess, but you don't want to starve the kid! :)~

Answer 12

consistancy.  You have to be consistant.  Choose one way and the best way would be to take the food away the first time he wont listen.  He sits with his food, and you tell him to choose to eat or choose to not eat.  If he starts throwing food or dumping it out anywhere other than his plate, than you take it away.  If you cant' do that, then he is going to continue doing it till you have a nervouse breakdown.  He knows that the consiquences don't last long.  Or make him take a nap when he does it or something he hates.  My son didnt' do that long, because he lost his food every time, and learned  that he either ate, or played for two seconds and was done till next meal with no snack.  

Answer 13

Like many have said, you have to be consistent.  With my kids, I took away their plate when they made a mess.  They didn't get anything to eat until the next snack/meal time.  Some people may consider this "abuse" (not feeding your child), but at this age, they are basically eating something every 2 hours.  They aren't starving, they're just going to be a bit hungry.  

That being said, it's very important for you to keep a schedule.  If they make a mess at breakfast at 8 am, they DO NOT eat until 10 am snack.  If they make a mess at 10 am, they DO NOT eat until noon lunch, etc...  You have to follow through or else they'll know that you gave in - it may take 20 minutes of whining and crying, but mom always gives in.  Don't!  I tell every mom I know that discipline is only as strong as your desire to win at all costs.  Are you willing to deal with 2 hours of crying and whining if it means that there will only be 1 hour tomorrow, 30 minutes the day after that and, hopefully, a clean kitchen in a few weeks?  Stick with it and it will pass.

Answer 14

go to this web site it might help

http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-teach...

Answer 15

I have a 7,turning 5, turning 4,10 month old.  I've had this problem with all but 1 of my children.  I use the reward system; and have since all my kids have been old enough to understand.  Basically, they always get a little snack after each meal.  Breakfast, usually fruit afterward.  Lunch, usually something light(graham crackers, fruit cups, etc..).  Dinner, something sweet.  Basically, if they try to keep the mess to a min. then they get their snack, and if they do not, then they don't.  It's worked with all mine so far.  Another trick - worked with my almost 5 yr. old - when she was 2 1/2 she made a huge mess on purpose.  I made her help me clean it up.  I literally had to put a rag in her hand, and clean with her.  She is stubborn, but cleaning up the walls she threw spaghetti at, and the milk she dumped on the floor - it got through to her.  I hope this helps.

Answer 16

Make him clean the mess up with you.  That worked on my son.  He stopped his mess making after a few times of having to clean it up him self.  Now if he makes a mess on accordant  he likes to clean it up him self.  

Answer 17

just keep repeating everything you're already doing such as taking the food, telling him you don't like it when he makes the mess... I'm going through the same thing! It seems like I'm cleaning up after a tornado when my son is finished with any meal! Repetition is key! it's take toddlers quite some time to learn things!  good luck!!  :)

Answer 18

ok i took care of my little brothers since they came home from the hospital. try giving him finger food or cut the food in little pieces and give little at a time. try to stay away from things that have sauces.