To Dating single parents or parents now married but was a single parent, Help!!!?

Question

Background:

I am dating a single father of 2 teens, I have never been married and I don't have children and have never dated someone with children, also I am a youth specialist working with teens and preteens within my church.

What are some things you would like the person you are dating to do with your children?

What are some absolute no's with your children (and I would never harm a child but I know thats a definite)?

What are some things you would just like the person you are dating to be informed about?

Any advice would be greatly appreicated and if you can think of anything else I would love to know.

Answer 1

hey.

just something short for you.1st you have to be sure on what you want with the single dad of 2.anyway it doesnt matter if he has kids or not ,he also has a right to have arelationship,you have to respect and accept the kids too.you have to ask him any question before involving yourself totally ,then you can discuss them.it doesnt matter if you are working in a church!thats social life anyway!!we are not angles!who knows what the future has for you!!thanks

Answer 2

If he wants to form a family with your and the 2 kids then he wants you to take the role of the mother....

This is not a bad thing you have to step up to the plate if you want him you have to want the kids too...

Your boundaries are the same as they would be with any ones kids...

Answer 3

I am a single mom of a 3 yr old boy. I have been dating my b/f for a year now.

I love it when my boyfriend just randomly takes my son to Walmart for a toy, or to to the store for an ice-cream, you could take the teenagers to the beach...

I also really like it when he reads books with him, and puts puzzles together, and they have "guy talk" lol.

I definate no-no would be not asking me before he does certain things, like telling my son he has to eat his tomatos, when I know d**n well he is not going to. I like decisions like that left to me.

There wasn't really anything I felt I needed to inform him of when we first started dating. I just sort of "went with flow".

Answer 4

Don't do no thing good comes from dating a guy with kids and teen are the worse. Everyone is nice at first and than when you say I do they all hate and give you the h**l.

Answer 5

I don't want to burst your bubble but this is a difficult situation. i am newly married to a man with 2 teens and the last year has been h**l. the kids loved me up until we all moved in together now all i get is disrespect from them. It's tough when your not the parent. We do a lot of bowling,parks and shopping when they like me for the day. I can't disipline them and never offer advise to them about life because then they look at me like i am a witch. Never talk bad about their mother in front of them, let dad disipline and just try to be their friend hopefully you will have better success than i am having

Answer 6

Honestly when I started dating my now husband it was important for him to take on a roll of respect.  Not be there friend but respect them and be a role model.  You cannot replace the original parents and it is important not to, just be there for them, supportive, and they will in turn give you respect.  The only other thing that was extremely important was not making them ever feel like you were taking their father from them.  I know a few step moms that took the father out of the kids life and that is shame.

Answer 7

Well you should all go shopping for school clothes and when they want something the parent doesn't think they should have and if you are young enough to understand why they would want it, you can act as a go between.  That way you help the parent understand, and the kids will learn to trust your judgment, and confide in you.

You must learn and accept you will never replace the other parent, they will use that against you at times, as will the parent you are with.  There will be plenty of times when you are left on the outside looking in.  They will play the guilt card when ever they want their way, which in many cases will not be in your factor.

The parent will have to share stuff with the other one that will not include you, but you will suffer the emotional backlash even though you are not the cause.

Good Luck