To adopt inside America or outside of America?

Question

My husband and I have a 2-year-old daughter and have been talking about adding another child to our blessed home. However, we have a dilemma. We are unsure if we should adopt a child in America or outside the country? For me it doesn’t matter, but is about which child would need us more. I only state this because whenever I see the children of Russia, China, Africa, and etc. who are struggling from severe poverty my heartaches. But my husband feels that we should adopt a child from America, because it appears that our children are being forgotten. What should we do? Are the children from these other countries in more need than ours here?

Answer 1

There are unwanted children in every country, incluing ours.  A child who is born in the same country as you may have an easier time adjusting because there wont be drastic cultural differences.

Whatever you choose, God bless you.

Answer 2

charity begins in the home.!!!

i applaud you for wanting/being able to adopt, pray on it before making a final decision.

Answer 3

If you decide to adopt from foster care, you may want to wait a few years.

I have read that it is very bad to adopt 'out of order' in the birth order.

Answer 4

I'm saying this as a man who has spent time as a child in the foster care system. It saddens me that people go to other countries to adopt kids when there are so many kids in America who need good homes. If you go thru a state agency, adopting a child in America should not cost you anything. If you become a foster parent first, you can even get paid to take care of the child you want until the adoption goes thru. And if race is not an issue with you, there are many black children in this country who need a good home.  Your husband is right that American children are being forgotten. They are being forgotten and they grow up angry, feeling that no one cares for them. It's a sad statistic but most kids in the foster care system in America wind up in the penal system.  Saying this from experience, a child does not care what color or race their parent is, as long as you are a good parent.

Answer 5

There are so many kids in the foster care system who need permanent homes and families.  Once they reach 18, they age out of the system and no longer have any real support.  They are left on their own.  It's easy to think that the needy children are living in other countries because we see more of it on the news and in the other media, but there are plenty of needy children right here in the U.S.  Just something to think about.

Answer 6

whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and your family.. God will bless you and will give you the right answer..

Good luck and I applaud you for adopting!

Answer 7

it's great that you're even choosing to adopt- i don't know many people who have. i feel divided when it comes to this topic, but if i were in your position, i probably would choose to adopt a child from another country. i'm not saying that kids in america suffer as well, because some do, but i've been to some of the poorest countries out there, and i do feel that in a way, the conditions and the life that they live are usually worse. there aren't many programs that help children living in poverty or foster care in third world countries like there are in the U.S- a lot of those countries don't have the money we do to help their citizens. in the end though, it's your choice, and the bottom line is that it's great that you're considering changing a child's life for the better. good luck to you.

Answer 8

I agree with your husband...our children are being forgotten...i understand every child has a right to a family...we also, as Americans, have the right and opportunity to help our "own"...either way I applaud you and your family for loving another child!

Answer 9

Definitely from foster care within the USA.  Bless you for considering opening your home to a child who is needing one.  Thank you so much.

My heart breaks when adopters by-pass the real children in need

Answer 10

My husband and I also debated this question recently.  We have chosen to adopt domestically because of several reasons.  Now these are just our personal reasons, everyone's are a little different.  We realize that if we adopt internationally that we may have very little to no information about the birthparents.  We would have no way to know any family medical history, physchiatric history, or personalities.  Also, the paperwork going Internationally is a lot more tedious and takes longer then domest.  The cultural differences from here to other countries would also be extremely different if you chose an older child.  The foreign governments can change or cut off adoption from this country at any time for any reason with no notice.  Even healthy children from foreign countries may have or have had maleria, tuberculosis, or any number of other diseases that you may or may not be aware of.  This maybe something you are willing to risk but domestically there is better medical care for children in foster or state care and you would at least be made aware of any medical conditions.  As far as who needs it more that is hard to say.  I think that the poverty and neglect of children in other countries is better advertised then here.  But if you spend time at a homeless shelter or talk to a social worker you will see that there is great need for parents in this country also.  Either way I hope that you can both agree so later on there won't be any questions about whether you made the "right" decision or not.

Answer 11

There are kids in need in every country and will continue to be.  I am a foster adoption worker here in the US, and there are plenty of children that need loving families here.  Inside or outside of the country is a personal choice, and we can't make that for you.  However, adopting from a foreign country is a lot more expensive than adopting here.

Answer 12

I don't think it should be a decision based on which child "needs" you more.  Any child who is orphaned without anyone to dote and cuddle with is "in need".  It doesn't matter what country they are from.  My husband and I fostered a child in America.  We tried to adopt but it didn't work out (twice).  So we tried internationally (Guatemala) and everything went very smoothly.  Now I'm not saying that international adoption is "easier".  That is not the case.  But in OUR family....it apparently is what God had planned.  

Go where you and your husband's heart leads you.  It may be half way around the world and it may be down the street...but your heart will know.

Answer 13

There are need babies and children in both scenarios.

But, it is usually a heck of a lot harder to adopt someone from another country, there are a lot of more things you have to fill out and stuff. Plus, the programs usually want to interview you, and that means you have to spend money on airfare, which you wouldn't really have to do if you adopted locally within your own state or such.

I think it is more of a financial thing, than a who needs me more thing. Children everywhere need a family, it just depends on what you can support. Plus, if you adopt in America, they'll usually help pay for some expenses incurred from raising your child. I don't know if they do that for other countries' babies.

Answer 14

I will clear up a myth:  There are no forgotten babies in the U. S.    Older children in foster care:  YES!  So if you are going to adopt an infant, of any race, the most "needy" are those born in poor countries -- because they are often ill, have no prenatal care, and may be born to impoverished or alcoholic mothers.  The REAL need here in the U. S. is to adopt older children out of the foster care system.   These children are mostly ages 8 and up, and have emotional and medical concerns due to their abuse or neglect.  And, of course, the older children in other countries are forgotten, too.  They need families badly as well.