To adopted children...?

Question

I am not adopted so I don't have a first hand expieriance at this, when you found out you were adopted how did you take it, if you took it badly, why? your parents most likely loved you as much as if they had you instead of adopting you

Answer 1

i don't remember a day that i did not know i was adopted.  my parents talked to me about it as soo as i began to develop communication skills...i have jsut always known, thre was never a lets sit down and have a chat moment

Answer 2

I always knew, I was adopted twice.

The first couple gave me back because they had their 'real' children, and the second threw me out because i'm bisexual and they didn't want me 'infecting' their real daughter with my 'gayness'.

There are as many different stories and feelings on here as there are people, if not more lol.

You really cannot understand unless you are adopted.

You see yourself in your mother, father, siblings.

We don't. We don't know if we got our eyes from our mum, or our love of whiskey from dad....

In my case, when I walked, talked, read, wrote...  

I popped into existance age 5..... before that,  no-one cared enough to remember me.

It's a hard thing to explain, but just think of all the things that you get from your parents. All those habits, preferences, and how much they tie you into your family.

Now imagine you don't have them. Who are you now??

Answer 3

I was adopted at birth. I don't remember ever not-knowing that I was adopted.

No matter what anyone says, adoptive parents DON'T love their adopted kids as much as their birth kids. Anyone who says otherwise is full of ****. I grew up with my A. mother always telling me how she loves us (me and my brother, who's her's by birth) just the same.

I recently married and am now pregnant with my first child. When I told my A. mother, her response was that since my child wouldn't be hers biologically, and wouldn't ever look like her, or have her personality, she couldn't evere be really close to my children. She told me that naturally she would be closer to my brother's children, who will be *genetically* related to her (yes, in those words).

Adoption is no "good and wonderful thing" as everyone seems to think. WAKE UP. IT'S WORSE TO BE ADOPTED THAN TO NOT HAVE A FAMILY IN THE FIRST PLACE. THEN YOU DON'T HAVE EXPECTATIONS.

Answer 4

I have to disagree with Avaigal.  My husband is closer to our son then he is to his biological children with his ex-wife.  My husband loves all his children but he says his love for our son is so deep that he struggles at times that he maybe hurting his older children.  I think it has to do with the fact that he lives with us all the time and their bond is deepr.

We have always told our son he is adopted, it is a family adoption.  I think by knowing as a young age it will help him and he will not be shocked to find out as a young adult.

Answer 5

My son-in-law didn't find out he was adopted until he was 15 yrs old, and then by accident. He felt betrayed and lied to, stopped obeying, etc., until his parents kicked him out. He made a success of his life in spite of them, and eventually healed the rift, although they had never been close. Now he and our daughter have an adopted son whom they have told of his adoption right from the beginning. The last time I saw him, age 4 1/2, he wanted to hear my version of how his parents found him. It is as if it's his favorite bedtime story.

Answer 6

I am 34.  I am hardly a child.

Yes the parents who adopted me loved me, so what?  They would have loved any other kid they adopted too...if some other baby's file had been on top of the stack that day, some other child would have went home with them and they would have given her my name and loved HER just as much as if they'd have given birth to her, and what difference would it make in my life?  I'd have gone to the next set of parents on the list...or the next....or the next.

The idea that I was "chosen" or "special" is ridiculous.  

Adoption sucks donkey d**k.

I was given away, cast out of my FAMILY and given to some random people who's case file was first in line.  

Chosen?  No.  

I could be one of 10,000 different people today; who I became is just a needle in a haystack.

But who and what I LOST??? Can NEVER be replaced, it is what I was BORN to be and it was taken from me forever.

Answer 7

i dont remember how or when my parents told me i was adopted. i think that they were calling me "thier adopted angel" as soon as they got me!! and as far back as i can remember, my Amom would say to me "tell aunt ida who u r" the correct answer was "im mommy's adopted angel". they told me how my mom couldnt keep me, and they wanted me soooo bad, and they took me to raise for her".

now, id give my left foot to find my Bmom!!! so just incase someone who counts sees this post, (because i was supposed to have had a bio sister aprox 10 yrs old, and surely she asked y mommy was so fat!! lol),

i was born in leesburg florida

@ leesburg general hospital

by dr. tumblin

atty p.b. howell

was told that my bio mother lived in sanford florida atleast while she was pregnant w/me.

my bio father was supposed to have worked as a golf pro in sanford as well.

the story was that he wanted to keep me, but Bmom said no, because the existing child couldnt handle a new dad and family, right after a divorce.

Bmoms name was supposed to be shirley nicosia

my nick is stormytexxxas at yahoo, hotmail, and everywhere, if anyone who can help sees this.

and im an adult adoptee, adopted at birth too!! LOL.

Answer 8

My friend was adopted and when she found out she took it very well. She thought it was good because her adopted mom told her that where she would have lived if she was not adopted would have been un-safe, scary, and over all bad to live in. She had thoughts that she was adopted when she was young because she was Chinese and her family looked nothing like her. She loves her new mom, dad, and two brothers.

Answer 9

Children aren't allowed to have a yahoo account

I've always known and yes my parents loved me as much as their natural kids.

But I grew up in the dark - I always wondered who I was and where I came from, it's only natural.  

Adoptees should have their whole truth right from the start - from chapter ONE.

Answer 10

I found out when I was 31.  I had already had two kids of my own.  My amom was deceased several years.  My adad denied I was adopted and took it to his grave 23 years after I found out.

I was really okay about being adopted.  I was pissed off that EVERYBODY knew but me.  I'm trying to change the law in NY so I can fill out a family tree like non-adopted people.  

From what US Passport Services tells me, my amended birth certificate isn't valid because it was filed more than a year after I was born.  They want to see my orignal birth certificate - well, so would I.

Answer 11

i took it pretty badly.

i didnt find out until i was 9,

and i found out on accident.

[ by finding an old sheet of paper with my birth last name on it.  ]

and when i asked about it,

they told me that i was adopted,

and that they didnt plan on telling me.

so if i never found that piece of paper,

i wouldve never found out that i was adopted.

so i think i have a good reason to take it badly.

=/

Answer 12

WE ARE NOT ADOPTED CHILDREN! WE ARE ADULTS WHO WERE ADOPTED AS CHILDREN.

When will people let us grow up already?

To answer your question,

I was too young to understand. I hate it now that I am able to comprehend the deep seated wounds adoption has given me.

Answer 13

My best friend was told when he was 23. He always had his suspicions but his parents didn't want him or anyone to know. Their excuse was that they wanted him to feel completed accepted. He was crying and in shock, when he told me that it was because they wanted to feel like they were his real parents. He respected their rational but could never completely trust them again. They have both passed away and he finally found his bio-parents. They lived 20 miles from where he grew up and they told him he was placed with another family because they both lost their jobs and at that time nobody could find work. They told him that it was supposed to be an open adoption but that the a-parents shut them out.  All the money he inherited(which was a lot) was donated to various organizations that try to support birth mothers. He has forgiven his a-parents but doesn't talk about them.

My oldest sister placed her son up for adoption while she was working on her PhD.  She regrets it deeply but she made sure that she knew the a-parents very well. They were a couple she went to college with.  She has always maintained a relationship with her son and he currently lives with her. The a-parents loved helping raise him and are still a part of their lives.  Too bad most adoptions can't be like that. This is the way it should be.

Answer 14

I never found out.  I always knew.  It was never hidden from me it was and is just part of who I am.   I never doubted my parents love.