To adoptee,s need to verify bc number stays the same ?

Question

any one who read or posted this is another up date ,i couldnt make sence out of how she could know so much and look like me and my other 2 daughters and she wouldent or couldnt give the last 3 numbers on her bc,well i calmed down for a while and told my self to at least block my phone number and call just to her her voice ,im glad i did cause when i called she then verified her compleat bc number and said that she to was concerned about me just being a scammer so thats why she wasnt willing to give the bc number. And yet her i sit still questioning,its awful we are mother and child and we are complete stangers .im going to try to get DNA done so i can have absolute unquestionable dought . I am very untrusting because of cards ive been delt in life. keeping records away from adoptees including the real birth name is so wrong .

Answer 1

The adoption agency can help you. Both of you need to write a letter to the agency, if both partys write then the agency will hook you up. That is how we made sure the the woman I found was indeed our bdaughter. We were willing to do DNA though. I never saw my bdaughters birth certificate but I saved 1 piece of info that she would only know if she had her amended bc.

Don't freak out, this can be a GOOD thing.

Answer 2

Where was your daughter born and in what state was the adoption finalized?  Some states have mutual consent registries that will match parent to child based on what's in the sealed records - not just what the parent or child knows.  Depending on the state - registration is free or a nominal amount.  Cheaper than a DNA test.

There are perfectly legal ways to get information outside of the sealed records.  Some states and adoption agencies provide non-identifying information to the adult adoptee.  She could know what you majored in in college, your occupation, how old your siblings were, your parents' occupations, the birthfather's occupation.  If she was born in a state that has a publicly available birth index, she can get her name at birth.  It may also be on papers that her adoptive parents have.

However - I am more than a little wary that she won't verify her birth certificate number.

Answer 3

take a DNA test

Answer 4

Contact the agnecy or lawyer that preform the adoption and ask them

Also, what did the parents know of you?

Is there anything that they could of told her, that are not in the records

Answer 5

I was an adoptee who succesfully searched and found my birth mother.  I know that initial phone call left her in shock, and full of questions and doubts.  My state was legally obligated to honor my request for non-identifiable info. That info provided me with the foundation to begin my search.  With the little bits of info and help from "search angles" it can be done. So, if my b/m requested other info from me, I couldn't have given it to her. In our case, the info I was able to read to her seemed sufficient. As far as the b/c goes, my state went so far as to alter my true birthday to attempt to protect her identity, and an entirely modified b/c was provided to me. I have no idea if those numbers change, but someone at probate court adoption division could advise you on that as well as the possiblity of any privay breech in their system.   The more you talk with her and share information, the sooner things will fall into place.

Answer 6

DNA test. That will solve it. There are TONS online that you can have mailed to you, you swab your mouth for like 2 whole minutes, or 60 swabs etc. and then mail it in and you can have results in like 2 weeks.

Oh and I've "heard" the BC number stays the same, but i wouldn't know because I've never seen my real one. Do you have her original one?

good luck!

Answer 7

Yes, the numbers will be the same, even on the amended birth certificate the number is identical to the original one.

Tread carefully, I've heard of some sick pranks like this before.  I hope this is legit.  Good luck.

ETA:  Before DNA, how about a photo exchange?  Sometimes there is NO mistaking, if she's not willing to do that I'd say something fishy is going on.  I hope it's her!  Let us know, will you

ETA.  If she has non-id she should be able to tell you how tall you are, what eye color you have, hair color, religion, heritage etc so you can verify she is who she says she is