To all the moms out there....I have a question

Question

Ok, well I'm just looking for an opinion here because lately my mom has been like really upset for the past couple weeks. For a couple of years now she has had really bad back pain, i know she had 2 bulging discs and there's also arthritis. She can barely walk for a long time and everytime she comes out of the doctor shes crying. I'm almost 16 years old and im a girl, and I'm close to my mom but she's not like my best friend like some are. I dont know..I'm just really confused about her because all the time no matter what I do she's always coming up with ways to nag at me and stuff. Also her and my dad have been fighting for a couple days now. I love her to death...and it just makes me so upset that she is I just cant do anything to help her. She's constantly being pushed away from things she wants to do because of her back. Also earlier this week I found out she had a tumor in her neck, a small one..non cancerous..something about inflammation of the thyroid; but still considered a "Tumor". I know shes just overwhelmed with the fact she has to get surgery to get that removed, and as of now theres nothing else left to do..she'll probably end up with surgery on her back. She does so much for everybody. My aunts going through divorce, my grandma is suffering from alzheimers, and her best friends going through depression because her son died last year. Everything just seems to fall on her because shes the one everybody wants to trust..everybody wants advice from her. I do everything I can to make her happy because shes always been a happy, loving person just these sudden changes I want to help her turn them around..before that ends up being who she becomes. I was just wondering what moms really love to see from their kids..like what would a teenage girl do? I know you may not really get what I'm saying but pretty much I just want to let my mom know that I love her to death and help her relieve her anxiety from the surgery and family problems..Thanks so much.

Answer 1

If I were your mother, I would want you to help out around the house.  Run the vacuum or something without having to be asked.  Go in and start dinner some night.  Ask your mom if there is anything you can do to help her.  She does so much for everyone, see if you can help her.  Be there to talk to her.  She probably feels helpless, and she's probably scared.  Tumors are scary even if they aren't cancer.  In addition to helping out around the house, be sure that you don't let your school work or your extra-curricular activities go.  If you play sports or do band or drama, be sure to keep her in the loop about what is going on with you.  She will appreciate your help around the house, but she won't want you to drop all your activities to be her nurse/maid.  Just try to include her as much as you can.  You might rent some movies and plan to spend an evening with her watching them.  You sound like a really sweet daughter.  I'm sure this situation is stressful for you as well.  Try not to take it personally when she nags at you.  In some ways, that's just what mom's do. And when you don't feel well it is easy to take it out on the ones you love.

Answer 2

that was beautiful, my suggestion as a mom with 4 children, you need to print this out and show her how much you care, or just tell her what you said here and that you want to help out, it will touch her and she will appreciate it, love and showing your love to someone helps them more than anything, always reverse the situation as if it were you and how you wish someone would treat or say something to you. good luck and if ok i will be praying for you both.  

Answer 3

Pretty much if you wrote her a letter saying that, that would mean the world to her. My mom is kind of the same way and the things that really get to her are when her kids just tell her how much she means to them. I mean if you want to go all out, you could take her out with you for a pamper session, something like manicures and pedicures or a massage or something. But the one thing that will get her is writing her a letter and telling her how much you appreciate everything she does and how it doesn't go unnoticed and how much you love her. That would be the best thing you could ever do, and she will keep it forever, guaranteed! Good Luck!

Answer 4

You really are a treasure. She's a lucky woman to have you as a daughter. One thing that would make her very happy is if you would pull your weight, along with some of hers, around the house. Help her do what she cannot comfortably, allowing her to just lay and relax. I'm sorry to hear about her back problems. I, too, am going through some back issues (not as serious though) and I can tell you,... it's rough. Instead of surgery, have her see if she can go to a chiropractor and have them adjust her discs back into place. If she talks to a orthopedic surgeon, of course they're going to say she needs surgery. As for the rest of the family, you may need to talk to them, or get your dad to, about how they are just making everything worse for her by putting their troubles and worries on her shoulders. Tell them they need to talk to somebody else about it all, because she has her own problems she's battling right now.