To anyone who has adopted a child after having their own biological children as well?

Question

Or if you've known anyone who has..... Do you feel differently towards your adopted child than you do your biological children?

I only ask this because I have a co-worker who has 3 children. She had her tubes tied, but is wanting another baby badly. She's considered adopting, but is unsure if she would feel the same. So, I was just wondering if anyone out there has been through this and what feelings you've had.

Btw... I'm not looking for rude comments or any debates. I just want answers from people who have experienced this (or know of someone who has). Thank you!

Answer 1

Im currently 5mo prego....  I have a cousin whom is 2 and his mother is on drugs and doesnt want him anymore...my boyfriend and I are considering adopting him b/c we def dont want to see him in foster care if CPS takes him away....all grandparents are too old and nobody else in our family has the means to raise him therefore leaving us!  Of course she would be signing her rights over to me and when were married my boyfriend would adopt him.  We both talked very long about this and we agreed we would treat him no different and would love him just as much as the child we have on the way.  Were having a girl so he would make a good big brother too!  Hes a wonderful child and we know that it would be in his best interest to live with us!

Answer 2

Me and my family took in a baby at 13 days old, and my parents finally got to adopt him when he turned 8 years old. I love him like he was my own little brother. I will admitt that right now I like my other little brothers more because they are babies at the moment and so darn cute, and my adopted brother has a little bit of an aditude, but I do not love him any more or less then my other little brothers. I do love him more then my older brother who is the only real full blood brother I have. But he is my little bro and always has been since the day I layed eyes on him.  

Answer 3

I have a 2 year old son, and I also have an 8 year old son whom I have had since he was 5. I have had him for 3 years now and we are finally getting to adopt him next month. Praise the Lord! I love both of my boys the same and I thank God for both of my children. They play so well together and get along just like little brothers do. I think it is amazing families adopting children who are less fortunate and need a loving home. I would tell your friend without any regrets adoption is awesome!  

Answer 4

if she's unsure if she'd feel the same then she should untie her tubes before adopting.  it would be unfair to the child.

Answer 5

My wife and I had three, then adopted two deaf kids form a woman who was going to abort them. I've thought about this before. If I had not had biological children I know now that I would love the others, yet I'm sure I would always wonder, what if? Having natural and adopted kids, I'm here to tell you you'd love them each not one whit less than another.

Answer 6

My husband and I are friends with another couple who tried to get pregnant on their own for four years.  They got fertility testing done and were told there was no medical reason they weren't getting pregnant.  They just weren't.  So they decided to adopt and found a woman who was interested in giving up her unborn child.  They went through a private adoption and just as their firstborn came into the world, they were three months pregnant.  Six months later, they had baby number two.  A boy.  A couple of years later, the biological mother of baby number one was pregnant again and wanted them to adopt the baby.  They decided to go through with it and wound up adopting and then delivering their own biological child again 8 months later.

The moral?  They love all of their children exactly the same.  They're awesome parents and you would never know that any were adopted or natural.  You'd have to ask to find out which was which.  Adopting or giving birth, they're still your kids and you were still meant to be their parents.  God gave those kids to you.  It doesn't matter how.

Another story.  My husband adopted my biological son when he was just two years old.  He'd been in his life acting as Daddy since he was a baby but the adoption was final at age 2.  There are more days that I forget he's not his biological Dad than that I remember.  I only remember b/c people say something to remind me.  BTW, we've had two more kids since he adopted my oldest.  He doesn't think of them differently relationally.  He loves them all.  Your friend will be fine.  Good luck.

Answer 7

My mom was told she couldn't conceive and so she adopted my sister. Well nine months later she got pregnant with me. So you wanted an honest answer. Here I go. I remember when  I  was younger and  my sister always seemed to get more attention and got by with more.  It was always me doing wrong especially in junior high and high school.It was like my sister did no wrong. Actually it was her doing the wrong and passing the blame down on me. Don't get me wrong ,I was raised in a christian home but I did stay with my granny alot. (without my sister) When I got older I did ask my mom why she favored my sister more growing up. She told me she never wanted my sisters feelings hurt and didn't ever want her to feel like she wasn't wanted. Anyway, now that we're grown and my mother is deceased, I've still got a sister to call upon. I can laugh at her now because, she's been married 5 times and is only 42 year old. Me, I've been married  one good time.      

Answer 8

I'm not sure if it's the same, but I have biological twin girls (3) and a step daughter (14) and I love my step daughter just as much as my real children. I think these situations are very difficult and they can vary from person to person.

I have a friend who has a little boy with her husband and her husband has a little girl from his previous marriage and I know my friend does not feel the same way about the little girl that she does her son.

Really your friend needs to sit down and really think this one through. If she isn't going to feel the same way towards her adopted child then it's really not fair to the child. If she feels like she will be able to accept the child as her own then I think it's wonderful, but not everyone is capable of doing so.

Answer 9

I do know of a family who has had an adopted child, and still have biological children of their own. She is very much loved as if she were their own flesh and blood.

BTW: I don't think Co-Workers are in any way shape or form able to give that kind of judgement or advice to anyone incapable of having children. Thats a very personal decision, and would be best if others let the family make that choice.

Answer 10

she should just untie her tubes.if she is even thinking about that maybe its not for her..

Answer 11

ofcourse she wont get to feel that happinness, when after hard labor she gets to hold the baby in her arms knowing she brought it into this world.