To have a baby or not?

Question

My husband and I are 25. He has a job and I am just finishing with my master's degree and settling into a job. He would like to have a child before he gets too much older and I am not sure if I want to have one. Does anyone have any recommended books that could help me decide if I want to have a child? I have been wrapped up in college for the past six years that I really have thought about it. I don' know where to start with my evaluation.

Answer 1

You shouldn't if your not ready Tell him your trying and stay on the pill/shot and act like its just not happening  

Answer 2

No book can help you decide.  You have plenty of time to have kids.

Answer 3

If you don't know if you want a child or not, DO NOT have one. There is no evaluation, book, or pros/cons list out there that will tell you if you should have a baby. Wait a few years, you still have plenty of time. And in a few years, you still might not know. But don't knowingly get pregnant and bring a baby into the world if you're not sure you even want one.

Answer 4

There is no book...evaluation? you looking at having a baby like its school work you can't look at it like that. A baby is a blessing if you can manage having a child and know you can take care of him/her and not be frustrated or have any regrets then you should have a baby but its all up to you and timing don't have a child if its not the right time bad timing is what causes relationships to crumble mothers to have abortions. Do what you feel is right for YOU another year or two wont hurt if that's how long you need to make room for a child in you life.

Answer 5

I don't know of any books, but I did some searches on the internet.  I was like you, very focused on college and my career.  My husband and I are 29 and we've been married for a year but have been together for 7.  He has always wanted a child and I had never really thought about it!  I'm a teacher so I get my fill of children every day!   Being a teacher, I think of all these different scenarios that could happen and being a parent is such a huge responsibility.  

I've never been one who fawns over babies and I don't have much experience with babies or toddlers.   But we recently decided to just go for it and see what happens.  We figured we would never be totally ready and we know we will be good parents.  We may just have one child.  I also didn't want to wait to long b/c I've heard it gets tougher as you get older.  We have also traveled a lot lately and we've enjoyed our time together as the two of us.

If I could offer some advice, you two are just 25.  Start weighing your options now but don't feel rushed to make a decision.  Travel, enjoy each other, and get that career you've been working so hard for!  If you got pregnant before you had a chance to use your education, my guess is that you would be very disappointed.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I agree that you won't get much help from any book.

I suggest couple's counseling.

Please do not have a baby if you have ANY doubts.