To parents out there..... please help.?

Question

My sister has 2 boys, 9 &6. Well, last night my odest nephew (who's diabetec) had a seizure and drowned.

I'm 34 and have no kids and least to say she's inconsolable.

My question is are there any groups that anyone knows of who can help her?

I'm a therapist (addictions) and I'm at a complete loss of words for her. I really don't know what to say to her and I hate to see her suffering the way she is.

I don't expect her to "get over it", but please- if anyone ou here has lost a child can you please give me some advice to give her? Something to say...

Thanks

Answer 1

OMG thats sooo sad! I dont or any support groups but i am sooo sorry! Hes just a little thing1 IM SOOOOO SORRY!

Answer 2

I am sorry for you and your sisters loss.

I would suggest that she get grief counseling, don't press her at this time allow some time to greive.  Let her greive it is healthy.

Also, you need to greive.  You will have to be strong for her and you will not feel it like she does, but this is having an impact on you also.

This will be a life changing experience.  It will be a long time before she will find some normalcy and happiness.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for your (and your family's) loss!  Please make sure your sister knows you are there for her, stop by and make sure she is okay.  Call your local hospital and ask for  a list of grief counsilors that specialize in child loss.  

Take care and my thoughts are with your family.

Answer 4

How horrible! I'm so sorry for your family's loss. If it were me, I would send her a nice bouquet and a card.. write what you feel. Something like, "I loved him but I know that's nothing compared to your love for him. He'll always be with us and that makes me feel a little better.. If you need me, don't hesitate to call. .. " something like that. Right now she's going to be unconsolable. I have a little boy and I can't even think about it or I'll cry, too. I really am sorry, though.. just understand that she's going to be 'down' for the next while and just give her time. Think about something nice you can do for her at Christmastime.. something with her sons pics or somthing. Good luck. :( Email me if you want to talk or anything

Answer 5

there is nothing that anyone can say or do... she can go to a group but she will have to come to peace and understandin with it... but you are right she will never get over it..just be there and listen.. you really dont have to say anything unless you feel like you are lead to... i will remember your family as i pray... im very sorry for your lost

Answer 6

Just let her know your there for her and her son and if she needs anything even someone to talk to your there for her. There is no magic cure....just time hard time and it still won't go away but it does get better.

Answer 7

Maybe just tell her that, that you don't know what to say, that it's such a serious situation that ur at a loss for words.  And you are there for her.  Let her know how much he means to you to.  I'm so sorry, ya'll will be in my prayers.

Answer 8

Compassionate Friends.org..online.  They can help...they are specific for grieving parents.  Hope this helps and just be there for her..listen and be strong for her...she still has another child that can be hurting from this.  There is nothing you can say.  Just be there.  Time will lessen the pain but it never leaves.

Answer 9

Oh my god...I am so incredibly sorry for her, and your loss. That must be just horrible. Just make sure and tell her that it wasn't her fault, and that it was not preventable because often mothers try to blame themselves for these things. Also tell her that you are always there for her and her family if they ever need to talk. Comfort her...make her feel good. I have lost a child. Not like this, because I am sure this is harder, but I had a miscarriage. Our little Ryan is in heaven now. Make sure to tell her that things will get better. And I know, also how a death of a child around this age feels. My best friend lost her 8 year old son. He was hit by a falling tree while camping. Tell her to stay strong...just make sure you are there for her and her family always. ♥

~Kate

Answer 10

just let her know that you are there for her, for whatever she needs.  I dont know of any kind of groups that could possibly help her, but it wouldnt be  bad idea for her to go to a therapist in the future.

Good Luck

Answer 11

Don't worry too much about what you say right now.  This is a time of shock and disbelief for her and she won't likely remember much of what happens in the next few days and weeks.  What you can do is be there for her.  Let her talk if she wants to.  Let her cry on your shoulder if she needs to.  Let her sit quietly with you close by if she needs to.  She will go through the various stages of grief in her own time frame.  Support groups can be good for some people, but it may be months before she is in a place in her grief where she may be open to the idea.  Of great importance is being supportive and a good uncle to your nephew.  He is in a difficult place where his parents are hurting so deeply that they don't mean to, but he may feel uncomfortable and left out.  He needs you to be there for him too.  At only 6, he won't necessarily grasp and understand death and he may need to blow off steam.  Take him to do some fun things when things are getting rough at home.  Playing on the playground, going for ice cream, shooting baskets or reading to him can help him feel some sense of normalcy when there isn't any.  You will not be able to say anything that is "just right" or "perfect" so don't try.  She will suffer, it is part of dealing with the loss of a loved one.  Your goal should be to be there for her in the way she needs and maybe not saying anything at all is what she needs most from you.  I have not personally lost a child, but I know several people who have, including my cousin who lost an almost 2 year old daughter to a rare genetic disease.

Answer 12

Just let her know that you are there for her and can always help her out tell her you are truely sorry for what happened.  (This is a very sad stroy and i am sorry for your loss.)