To tell or not to tell...?

Question

I'm friends with a couple I met from school, and currently work at an office with the husband. For some months now, people at work have been noticing how he is too sweet and too close to a female co-worker. They are always together and have been caught in compromising positions at the work place a couple of times. Word somehow got to his wife and she confronted him about it. He of course denied everything.

I'd rather not meddle in their private affairs, but I'm surprised, though relieved, that the wife has not talked to me about it. I worry that later on, I might get blamed by the wife for keeping quiet and in effect, condoning her husband's infidelity.

My question is, am I doing the right thing by not getting involved? And if not, what should I be doing?

Answer 1

if your friends with her, you oughta tell her.

Answer 2

tell her.

Answer 3

I think u are doing the right thing not getting involved. People need to learn their own lessons. You can only sit & watch as the thing plays itself out. Honestly, wouldn't his wife have an instinct if something is going on? I hope she'll come to her senses, but you'll have to leave her to figure it out & come to terms with the truth when she's ready.

I once tried to tell a woman about her cheating spouse, and all she did is attack me, accusing me of lying..

It's going to be very painful for her to learn the truth, all you can do is be there for her once she does.

I think cheaters/players etc have a way of brainwashing women into believing they are loved by him & in love with him. Especially if this man is the one person who these women are most close to, most intimate with & trust the most. Especially if this man is her husband.

Giving her a few nudges in the right direction might arouse her suspicions a bit & get her on the right track. But just be very careful, because I bet she is going to feel not only very hurt, but also very stupid when she finds out.

Maybe for now, just let sleeping dogs lie. Who knows, maybe the husband will end this affair. Have you tried speaking to him about what he's doing & how it makes you feel? You are well within your rights to tell him to get his act together.

I really think talking to the wife is the worst thing you can do. You could ruin their relationship, if not their marriage & u don't want to be responsible for doing that to your friends. Leave them to their own affairs ;)

Answer 4

if she hasnt confronted you yet, then she most likley wont.

if she does by chance mention it to you, then just be an ear for her to listen.

if she asks you directly if you noticed anything while working with her husband, then say your attention is on work and not his affiars if any.. that way she wont pinn any guilt on you. however if you flat out see him kissing and hugging on another female (which you didnt mention in your question) then i would then go to her and let her know what you saw.. now that might jeperdize your job if she mentioend you were the one telling her this, but if you have trust in her, you can ask her to keep your name out of it and just explain you wanted to be honest b/c you dont like to see people get burned.. if she can do that, then you are in the clear.

Answer 5

Your taking the right approach by staying out of it. Just remember when the blame starts flying that it's not your fault. People that are guilty have a way of placing the blame elsewhere instead of themselves. If you do get involved you take the risk of getting blamed and if you don't get involved you take the risk of getting blamed. So you have a tough situation, but I think you are making the right choice.

If asked just say "I'm not really sure".