To tell the truth or lie?

Question

Long story short.... I have a friend who has a daughter the same age as one of my daughters. Her little girl is a terror who doesn't know how to share, yells at my daughter and i even caught her hitting my daughter today...needless to say, I've had it with this child. My friend wants my daughter to come over tomorrow for a play date with her demon daughter....do i tell her the truth that I don't want my daughter playing with her anymore or make up a lie as to why she can't go over tomorrow?? What would you do???? Help!

Answer 1

I actually stopped my daughter from playing with a friends child for the same reasons. I just made excuses and allowed the child to play at my house only. That's a hard one that needs to be handled delicately, especially if you really like your friend......which I did. No parent, no matter how good a friend, wants to hear, "your child is a mean and nasty to mine." There is no way to put that gently to anyone.

Answer 2

I think you should accept her coming over but try to supervise the play date ...

if she cant share tell her in a stern BUT calm voice she has to share if she wants to come play again.

If you think she will take it wrong then play nice and bring a toy ...

BTW if you flat out say "No she cant because she cant share and hits my daughter"  your friend may get offended and deffensive and you will loose a friend.

tell them "lets play a game ... its called the sharing game." and make the girls pass the toy back and forth after they ask eachother for the toy...

If the girl hits your daughter seperate them and put them in different rooms till they look for eachother and play nice

If she is unruly seperate them till her mother comes home then talk to her tell her whats going on...

Tell her you had to seperate them because her daughter hit yours...

Good luck!!

Answer 3

I think you should flat out tell her why!  If you don't protect you daughter who will!  Maybe she is truly unaware of her daughters behavior and would appreciate the information.

Answer 4

Tell her the truth or you'll just have to make up a new excuse every time.  I had to do the same thing with one of my daughters, but enough is enough sometimes!  Maybe it'll be a wake up call for your friend.

Answer 5

Tell her the truth.  

Remember that it may be possible that your friend doesnt know about this behavior.

Answer 6

It would be best to tell her the truth. I know i would be upset if i saw another child doing that to my child... tell her mom what is happening so that she can get the problem resolved and hopefully the children can play together without any other problems.

Answer 7

explain somtimes her daughter plays too rough and your daughter needs a break from her... if she asks then elaborate on the hitting and yelling... sharing is hard at any age so i would leave that out

Answer 8

Tell her the truth and if she gets mad oh well.  your looking out for your daughter's best interest.  I rather be safe then sorry later on.

Answer 9

just tell her you want to spend some time with your daughter alone!

thats not a lie because you obviously do want to spend time with her

Answer 10

tell the truth in way that won;t hurt your friend like say it in a way that is polite - Im sorry she coudlnt make it! its just that she's been telling me how she isn't really comfortable with your child im so sorry but the other day i even witnessed it

Answer 11

Tell her the truth but be tactful about it (don't call her kid a little demon, etc., LOL). Expect her to be insulted and to think you are over-reacting. Know yourself that her kid will probably outgrow the unacceptable behaviors, assuming she's still quite young, so you need not imply that you desire to not let your daughter go over is a "forever thing".Sounds like the kids need to be supervised when they are playing anyway. Perhaps you can suggest an alternate like you all go to the park together (so you are there to supervise and watch out for your daughter).  

Answer 12

Wow 6! she should certainly know a lot better. Tell you can't as you guys are busy. Try and catch up with this friend while the girls are at school. That way you get to see her with out having to worry about her daughter

Answer 13

I may not be qualified to answer this (since I don't have kids) :) but, I think it depends how close of a friend this person is. Really good friend...then I think you can come up with some way to "gently" bring up her daughter's behavior...especially the hitting (never acceptable, but always acceptable to tell the parents). If it's more of an acquaintance...it would probably be a bit more difficult to talk about it.  

Answer 14

Well, if you want to remain friends, I wouldn't tell her that her child is the spawn of satan!  Maybe you could tell her that your daughter is intimidated by her daughters strong will and energy!  OR...just make up an excuse.  If you keep making up reasons to not go over, she will stop asking!

Answer 15

Lying would be so easy, wouldn't it?  Especially since this demon child's mom is your friend.  But, I think the best thing to say would be something along the lines of that your daughter isn't very comfortable with this girl now, and that maybe after some time apart things will change.  You can tell your friend also, as you tell her all this, that you hope that they'll be friends again in a while.  It's a delicate situation when the parent is your friend, but you have to tell her in the nicest way possible if you want to keep your own friendship.  There is no reason to subject your daughter to this kid.  And, if you lose your friendship with this woman, so be it - at least your kid is safe.

This happened with my daughter, and after about a year apart, they both had a chance to grow up a bit and are now best friends again, and there aren't any more problems.  And, the mom and I were able to continue our friendship through it all.  It also happened with me and my cousin, and our parents (moms were sisters) kept us apart for about a year.