Toddler being dishonest...Is it normal?

Question

My 3 yr old son has begun being dishonest. He has taken toys from daycare, which we made him return and apologize for, but he took more toys the very next day. At home, he will lie to us as well. For example, we will see him hit his sister (he doesn't know we're watching) and ask him about it. He will insist he didn't hit her. Yet he will also admit to things he didn't do (like throwing food on the floor). We always make sure to explain to him that he needs to tell us what he did, but I know that the abstract concept of "truth" is too much for a 3 year old. Any advice? Is this type of dishonesty normal for toddlers?

Answer 1

some children don't know right from wrong try telling him the bad things he's done is wrong or tell him that if he dose bad things he will get punished and yes sometimes this is normail.

Answer 2

ahh thats normal, he is testing boundaries just continue to talk to him. A good book for you to read to his Chalie and Lola 'Whoops, but it wasn't me' it's about taking responsibilty and owning up to things. I will find a link.http://www.amazon.co.uk/Whoops-But-Wasnt...

Answer 3

yes, it is normal.  whenever he lies and you KNOW FOR SURE he lied, what you do is you sit him on the bench or "naughty spot" for 5 minutes and before you do it you say, "do you know why i put you on (insert name of time out place here)?"  if he nodds and looks sorry, then ask why, and if he says no or looks down or nervous, say," you lied to me and (other parent) didn't you? it is a VERY bad thing to lie, and if you do it a big green monster called the lie monster follows you around until you tell the truth."  it works! good luck and happy asking.

Answer 4

Yes, this is normal for a toddler.

Answer 5

I would recommend an exorcism ASAP. Your son is likely possessed by some sort of demon.

Answer 6

It's normal.  It's up to you to guide him and to teach him that it's unacceptable.  How else would he know?

Answer 7

extremely normal for a child his age....just keep teaching him right from wrong and know he is just like any other toddler...

Answer 8

sounds like he wants attention

Answer 9

I don't know if its normal or not, my daughter is 20 months, but you just need to keep correcting him. You need to be consistent.

Is he by any chance doing it for attention? Or for more attention? Maybe he feels like he's not getting enough, and even tho taking toys that are not his is negative attention, it is still attention and he knows it gets yours.

Sit him down and ask him why he takes the toys and ask him why he tells you things that are not true. Maybe there is something else that is bothering him.

But if it is just because he is a 3 year old, then like i said, be consistent. Have him return toys he has "stolen" and apologize. And so on. But maybe you should start punishing him. Send him to a "naughty" corner if you catch him in a lie or if he has taken a toy from day care or away from another child or when he hits his sister. you need to be consistent and you need to discipline as well.

Sometimes just explaining to a toddler doesn't always work, but actions (discipline) do.

Answer 10

I'm not of much help as far as advice goes, seeing as I've never been a parent and I'm only 17. However, when I was about the same age as your son, I behaved the same way for nearly a year. My excuse would be that I'm just joking, but my parents told me that it wasn't funny nor was it a joke, it was a bad thing. They explained to me what could go wrong if I lied and I slowly understood lying wasn't funny.

Answer 11

This is normal and common. A 3 year old doesnt understand the difference between the truth and a lie.

Instead of putting him in a situation where he has the opportunity to lie try rewording it.

For example: you know he just hit your daughter..

Instead of asking 'did you do it?'

Tell him 'I KNOW you hit your sister. Thats not ok and you need to apologize.'

Then he doesnt have the opportunity to lie and learns his behavior was wrong. Keep correcting him but dont punish him for lying until hes old enough to understand what a lie is.

Answer 12

well, he's going through a phase in his life. over his entire lifetime he will go through phases.

Answer 13

This is pretty normal. I'd suggest a good whuppin' when he does this, but the bleeding-hearts would give me thumbs down and report me for being a good parent...

Answer 14

My son turned three in May. Recently, he has started "fibbing". He will make up the most imaginative excuses for his wrongdoings, like blaming his brother for throwing something across the room, while his brother is not even home. He will even say naughty words, then when I say what did you say ? He will make up something that sounds close to the swear word .

I believe this is normal and it does show that at least they are starting to understand the difference between right and wrong. I would be more concerned if they blatantly do something wrong and just do not care.

Answer 15

That's normal for a kid that age.

Answer 16

Jamie...

1st of all you did not mention if the sister is younger than him...if so , then it is a normal case of jealousy....put in mind that children take and learn everything from us and from experience if the sister is younger and he normally gets in trouble( ie in his eyes attention) for doing bad things then i guess you get my point....

2nd if the sister has nothing to do with it.....

then it might be a cry for attention which is pretty normal .mind you that if a 1 year old cries and you feed him . his brain translates crying as a call for food...

so don't indulge him now with all the attention and emotions and when he starts getting better go back to the normal way you used to treat him....

3rd... i know you will be pissed about this suggestion but it might be abuse ( that you don't really know of) for example as i said before where did he learn to hit (sister)?.... keep this in mind ( cause and effect) what triggered this change in character or as i would prefer outbreak in behavior....

good luck

                      T

Answer 17

my child started doing this at age 5.  

It's normal.  Depending on how you handle it will determine how long this phase will last.

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