Toddler discipline problem...please help!!?

Question

I work at a daycare and my my son who is 22 months old moved up to the 2 year old room about 2 months ago because of being unhappy in the one year old room. He is the smallest child in his room. He has recently started hitting or trying to bite other children when they take a toy from him or pick up something that he was going to play with. About 6 months ago he was always picked on, hit, or toys taken from him. I was happy when he finally started sticking up for himself and taking his toys back etc. but not happy that now he hits and tries to bite. His teachers talked to me and told me about his behavior at school and how they put him in time out. He does not have aggressive behavior unless antagonized or something is taken from him. I hate that he has to go to time out all the time because I believe in warnings first which they don't do. I also think that if the children would just leave him alone he wouldn't be like that. I don't want him to just cry when someone does something to him or takes something. Please give me your opinion on this, and tell me if i'm wrong.

Answer 1

Aww How Cute!!  Umm i think this is normal for toddlers he is still small and doesn't really know exaclty what he is doing yet I used to be like that too.. Thats what my mom and dad say..

I stopped doing that until i was around 2.5 or 3 yrs old when i realized that thats not right....

Just keep on telling him to be nice and keep on doing what you do.. He will realize that he isn't being nice to them ;)

Answer 2

Time out is the best idea to discipline your kids in a fair method, since when they are in time out it’s like detention after school. At first I thought that it wouldn’t work since I had no time out place at home, there was a distraction everywhere. So I got online and search for more time out tips, and I found some rocking chairs with timers. I got creative with it and told them that if they moved from the chair before the bell rang the punishment would be greater, they don’t move and best of all they learn. I’ll leave you the link for those chairs, they’re very helpful.

Answer 3

Most day cares have a policy against biting period.  They don't have to give a warning, if your child bites another child the day care has to by law inform the parents of that other child and they are usually advised to seek the attention of a physician because the human mouth is full of bacteria which can be problematic if skin is broken or there is bruising of that bitten child.  Are you aware that the human mouth harbors the bacteria that causes necrotizing fasciitis (Flesh eating disease)?  Also be aware that anytime your son bites a child and that child is taken to the doctor the parents are within their rights to make YOU responsible for that medical bill.  If you want your son to be left alone then you should remove him from the day care.  While there he is just as the other children are expected to follow the ruiles and guildelines for all of the children.  Just because he is your son doesn't mean he can get away with breaking the rules.  

Answer 4

It's hard to be objective when it's our kid that is the one that's in trouble.  

My son is having the same kind of aggression issues in daycare and....quite frankly...I think that if he tries to bite someone...They should throw his little butt in Time Out ...because there's no "warning" for biting...the kid that got bit didn't get a warning.  

I know it sounds harsh...but I'd rather see my son sitting in Time Out and learning a lesson...than being allowed to be the bully.

IT's funny I think it's like a form of self preservation.. or something...maybe trying to put that "don't mess with me" vibe out there...cause you'd never in a million years think my son was capable of aggression at home...he's sweet and loving and obedient...and he's sweet at daycare too...but he's been in trouble three times in the last three weeks for biting or attempted biting.  

He is the second to youngest kid there...so again that self preservation thing may be part of it...the first kid he bit was the daycare bully...there may be something to that...

In any case, if he's acting up, as long as you trust the daycare ladies aren't being unfair or abusive...let them run their class the best way they know how.  If it gets to the point where you think they're being unfair then talk to them...but for now...I think time out....is totally a fair punishment for biting.  If it were my mom running the daycare...they'd be getting spanked..lol.

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Even an attempted biting...needs to be corrected.  

In life, people will antagonize him and will take things from him...that's normal.  

Having to deal with it without getting aggressive ...also normal.  

He's learning self control with the time outs...it's a good thing.

Like I said before, if you trust that the daycare provider isn't being "abusive" ...let them run their own show.  As a mother you will always be bias, but you have to be reasonable and realistic....

ALL our kids can misbehave...and NO it's not always just because some one "antagonized" them.  

And when they do misbehave, they should be corrected...so that they learn.  

Letting aggression go unchecked, wether prompted or not, is a bad idea and a diservice to your child.  And will only make both your lives more difficult in the long run.

Answer 5

Candace,

It is a mothers instinct to protect and stand up for thier child. The hitting and bitting other children may be occuring from others doing it to him. But you cannot use that as a reason he should not be corrected for what he is doing. Children learn from example. This behavior is also part of social growth. Also, Toddlers have a limited understanding of how their behavior affects others. He needs to know how what he did made the other person feel. Maybe explaing that to him may help stop the hitting and such.  You can also try teaching him to use his words instead of actions. Play with him and make a game him taking something from you. and Kindly say. I was playing with that.. please give it back. Possitive instead of negative that he has learned.  

Answer 6

no your not wrong. your child should be asked once, told once and given a consequence and if he doesn't do it after the second warning then he should be put in time out bu he does need to learn to share and 22 months he is only finiding his individuality and he will be boisterous at the moment he is testing the waters so he can figur out what his bounderies are. but when he is put in time out they should explain to him why he is being put there and that he should try to share toys etc. he needs to understand what he is doing isn't nice there is no point in ptting a child in time out without telling them why they are there because if the dont know then they cant do anything to improvr on there behaviour. i hope this helps. bu he is just a normal 22 month old my son is 23 months and the very same. : )

Answer 7

I was really picked on as a little girl with 3 older brothers and a depressed mother who was no where to be seen so I developed an ear splitting scream that would raise the dead whenever someone messed with me and I held onto the toy for dear life!!!   It works.

Answer 8

i know this isnt the best answer but i recommend wating or googling some 'super nanny' videos.

you can learn a lot.

Answer 9

My daughter used to do the same thing at her daycare but definitely not as extreme. My suggestion would be talking to the people running the daycare and telling them your situation and showing your real concern of the issue. Let them know that you understand their methods and would appreciate if they would make your child an exception and give him a warning before putting him on time out. I did that with my old provider and she completely understood my concern and changed her ways rather quickly. It sounds to me like if your son were talked to and not immediatly punished he might realize what he is doing much sooner. Hope that helps!