Toddler not talking!?

Question

my first child is 23 months and he just does not have a vocabulary! he can say mum, dad, see ya, no but that is it! he points at things and whines until he gets them, so we have this dynamic where he does not have to talk. i have tried ignoring his communication and prompting him to use words, but he is just refusing to talk any more than he has to. i read lots of books to him, and my husband and I are very loud talkative people so i am at a loss! has anyone else had a toddler that was slow to talk? any ideas?

Answer 1

have you had his hearing tested?

my second daughter was like that - she had a few words that were intelligible but the rest was just mangled gibberish.  too late, it turned out she had a silent ear infection so bad her ear canals had swollen shut and her eardrums were rigid with fluid build-up.  the doctor couldn't understand why she wasn't screaming in agony but says it happens like that sometimes.  no sign of discomfort at all barring a slight drop in appetite, and aversion to eating cold foods, sleeping a bit more than normal, and a fever so slight i was told to disregard it (not even one full degree elevated).  no idea how long she'd had it but she was left with permanent learning disability because of it (she has trouble processing verbal speech).

otherwise, he's only doing what works - you said it yourself:  "he is just refusing to talk any more than he has to".

so make it so that he HAS to talk more.  if it means he goes without dinner, oh well - he'll talk when he's hungry, won't he?

yes, it'll be harsh on you guys but it's what's best for him in the long run.

Answer 2

Have you talked to his pediatrician? There could be several reasons for it, and the only way to find out is to start digging. My nephew will be 4 next month, and he can barely get any words out. He tries to talk, but it's complete gibberish. Not even his parents can understand him. He's been in speech therapy, and we can notice a little improvement. They think he may have a slight autistic spectrum disorder, but they are still testing him. If your son is functioning normally in all other ways, like with his motor skills and social skills, I wouldn't worry too much. Ask his doctor about it, and see if he/she recommends speech therapy or further testing. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

My son is 19 months and he refuses to speak also....I try and prompt him and he either grins and wont open his mouth or gets cross and screeches at us, lol.

My child health nurse has assessed him and said that as long as he understands directions, tries to communicate and can use animal noises for recognition, then all is fine.

I was also told that for our circumstances that he has an older sister and she could speak for him, we also knows what he wants when he points and grunts at something (I just say, "you want your drink?" he usually grunts then I say "drink, Ta") so we try to lead by example. My son's vocab was No in grunt form and Mumma, lol, so a lot less than your son.

There is no point in ignoring him when he is trying to communicate because he is at least trying to do so.......but just keep repeating yourself when he wants things, so he eventually learns that it is "the done thing" when asking for stuff. Also if you and your husband are very vocal maybe your son feels like he doesn't have to be......just a thought.

And I don't think he has a hearing problem, or is autistic. He is probably just stubborn and finds that there is no need to speak yet.

Answer 4

I don't have a child or anything, but I've seen 3 year olds with a very very limited vocabulary . Children blossom at different times . Keep in mind, Einstein didn't start talking 'til he was 3 . But you should keep talking to your toddler, try going to his pediatrician .

Answer 5

Try to spend 15 minutes three times a day in the play area with a sound book make a learning game. Do not get frustrated in the process. This worked with my friends kid. Some children process things differently than others.

Good Luck & Have fun.

Answer 6

Are you prompting him to talk by saying

"Say horsey" or something like that.

From what I've read this is something which can stunt their language development. The dynamic probably isn't helping either as it's more accessible to him than talking.

You need to talk to him as much as possible - directly not where he is there while you and your husband are talking or where you are talking with him and a sibling - he won't get as much repetition and explanation as he needs.

The book on the second link is a good one. I used it when I did an assignment for a childcare course on language development. It gives you a program to use with each age group from Birth to 3 years (I think).

The programs are play based 1/2 hour sessions which are mainly child initiated. It's written by a language therapist from Britain who has had 30 years in the industry.

Answer 7

It took my daughter a while to speak as well. She would say very few words and we thought it wasn't normal even had her hearing checked. The standard for kids isn't what most people think. The average child doesn't say more then 10 words by 1 and 1/2. Mine was 2 yrs old before anything understandable came out of her mouth, she's now 3 and we still have issues understanding her.It takes time. If you live in a state with a place called birth to 3 you can get him tested for speech issues or talk to your doctor about a program like this. They help children learn to speak if they are actually having issues in that area. They test the child and can pinpoint concerns if there is any. I am not sure where you are to tell you if there is a program like that where u are from but talk to your doctor or Department of Health and they can direct you to programs that could tell you if something is wrong.

But he might just be like my daughter 100% normal just shy and needing his own time to come out of his shell. Give him time and let him find his inner voice. Trust me it's hard and with the way people are now it's pushed if your child isn't talking at an age they feel he should be. He will be fine and get there on his own, time is the best thing and talking to him and letting him play with other kids helps.

As I said my daughter is 3 and isn't speaking all to well and the people at birth to 3 say she's actually ahead of the game. So don't worry it will happen and then you will wish for the days when he didn't say to much.

Answer 8

Speak your concerns to your doctor...he will be able to look into seeing a Speech Specialist. And take it from there ! Good Luck you.

Answer 9

i wouldn't stress to much about it.  just tell his doctor next time you go.  he'll start blabbing in no time and you'll wish he'd stop! :)  good luck!

Answer 10

Do not give into him, make him use "his words".  Tell him just that, "I don't know what you want baby, use your words".  I have 4 children, 2 have Autism.  I am not at all suggesting that, I just know how to help children expand their vocabulary.

Answer 11

My brother was a late talker too because he never really had to talk, he made his wishes really clear without words. But once he decided to talk his vocabulary exploded!

This also happened with a girl I've been babysitting since she was 16 months. She never talked til a few weeks ago when she turned 22 months and now she says everything. Late bloomers explode and it sounds like he will since he does say some words already.

Answer 12

try holding a conversation with him...ask him questions and encourage him to answer...and when u read to him point to the pictures and ask him to identify things in the picture...such as point to a car and ask him what is that...after about 15-30 seconds if he doesn't answer tell him it is a car...some kids learn a little slower than others...my son is about to be four and he talks alot but doesn't make out the words right...so when he says a word wrong i tell him the proper way to say it...hope that helps

Answer 13

WELL SOME KIDS DEVELOPE LATE OR JUST DONT WANA TALK I WOULDN'T WORY ABOUT IT 2 MUCH AND KEEP AN EYE ON HIM JUST TALK 2 HIM SPEND TIME WITH HIM AND h**l BE TALKIN IN NO TIME! =)

Answer 14

I think if you've had him checkout out and you are sure there are no other reasons for him not to talk, then it's pretty clear that if he doesn't have to ...he won't.

Speak to your husband (helps if you are both on the same page with things) Decide to NOT give into his demands unless he at least attempts to say what he wants.  Things may very well get worse before they get better, he will try to test you!  

If he is pointing to his cup/bottle say "drink?" keep repeating this until he gives in .......he won't die of dehydration and there may be temper tantrums for a little while but keep at it!

If he wants anything at all ...make him say at least one word so that he learns to 'tell' you what he wants.  I have a friend who is a pre-school director, her son is turning 3 in September and hardly speak, after watching her interact with her son I realised she never gives him the chance to speak, he points makes a "ughhhhhh" sound then she will show him different things to see which one he wants!  

When you read to him, point at the pictures and repeat what you're pointing to, eg. "Look at that cat, what does a cat say? Meoooooow, cat, can you say cat?"  

I am a very vocal person (lol) and used this method on all of my children, make it fun. do the funny voices .....it'll pay off in the end!

Good luck!!!  :o))

Answer 15

when your child points, DON'T give it to him.you say the word, tell him to use the word and you will give it to him. let him cry, stomp his feet but DON'T give in to him. he is testing you and guess what, you have failed. you  read, you communicate with him, keep that up, just DON"T give in, make him say his words. he sounds a little stubborn. you have to get him to realize he gets nothing, until he says what he wants. he will finally get the idea that you are the adult and he is the child.