Toddler saying "I don't like you!"?

Question

I'm a nanny for a great 2 1/2 year old boy. His mother is having another baby any day now, and he has been acting angrier and more clingy.

Today he gave me a hug, and said in a very pleasant voice, "I don't like you." And he kept saying it. I wasn't sure how to react so I said, "That isn't very nice. It hurts my feelings when you say that." He obviously does love me, and he didn't say it in a mean voice.

Any advice on what to say/how to react?

Answer 1

He's feeling insecure and testing his boundaries.  I think you did the right thing by telling him gently and kindly that what he is saying isn't nice.  He probably needs loads of positive attention right now to make him feel secure.  If he keeps saying it I would be more firm, but definitely don't make it into a power struggle because you will lose!

Answer 2

kids are a very unique age. like if you ask them if they want a apple they might say no but they might actually want it. they like to have a good feeling that they can change thing by giving a answer weather it make sense, this is where when kids are no tough properly they will learn that lying is OK. what you should do is ask if you to can be friends and see what he will say? and try and become a special Friend not just the nice baby sitter.

Answer 3

maybe try asking him why. my sister loves me and says it sometimes too. i dont think they relle know wat that means you know

hope this helps

Answer 4

its okay!!

Answer 5

You're a nanny and you don't know anything about toddlers?  You're being overpaid thats for sure.  

Don't react at all.  He has no idea what he is saying...he is obviously repeating something he has heard because children that young don't have the capacity to know that "I don't like you" can hurt feelings etc.  Yes he has been getting angrier and more clingy.  His mother is going to bring an "invader" into their home and that "invader" is going to be the center of everyone's attetnion, already has been and he is jealous...

I know all of this and I'm not getting paid to know it...I suggest you take some classes before the people you work for complain that you are being overpaid.

Answer 6

I also am a daycare provider - and so I can sympathize with your frustration.  In my opinion, I think how you reacted was fine - the only thing I can add is if the child keeps saying it - ask him/her why they don't like you.  Most kids at that age don't have a reason to lie and will tell you exactly how they feel.  Good Luck !

Answer 7

Well it could be many things. I believe that the boy is dealing with some issues. He could think that because of you, his mother has more time to think about other children. He could also think that you might be the future replacement for his mother. Little children are very jealous. Or he could simply be acting his age. I'm quite sure he loves you he's just a little confused. You might want to explain to the mother first what you're about to do... But I believe that you should tell the little boy that you love him very much, although you'll never be a replacement for his mother. You should also explain to him how much his mother cares for him. Tell him that she loves him so much she created something for him to play with, love, and protect. Remind him that you two will be a team and are friends.

Answer 8

What worked with my toddler when she started saying mean things or was obviously frustrated I would "go with it".  I have figured out that asking "why", or saying "that's not nice", just trying to rationalize doesn't work between the ages of 2 and 4.  

For example: I wouldn't let her take her toy into preschool with her and she said I wasn't her friend.  I said, that makes you angry doesn't it?  you really want to take it with you!  I would be upset too.

All they can do is agree with you.  You have validated their feelings and the whole thing diffuses.  This little boy is going through a lot right now.  Maybe sitting down with him and acting out with puppets that are angry about a new baby coming or reading a book about a new baby.  He is just trying to get a reaction and if you side WITH him he will get it out of his system faster.   Good luck!