Toilet training @ 3 years old - bowel motions.?

Question

My little boy is now just turned 3 and myself & my husband have been activley trying to toilet train him now for the best part of 2 months. Originally he was enroled in a nursery attached to a school but as the children have to be fully toilet trained and "independent" - he could not go, so we have recently found an alternative private nursery that will support his toilet training. We both really wanted him to go to nursery so he could gain new skills & experience social interaction with other children, & by doing so hopefully school would not be such a shock to him next year. My problem is that he is doing very well with his wee's (although he does need prompting as he will sometimes say no but he does actually wee when you put him on the loo ), but no matter how hard we try he will either hold it all day (sometimes for 2 days !!) until he gets his night time nappy - then he will open his bowels. He has now for the last 2 time "scooped" it out of his nappy and tried to hide it in his bed. Its doesnt matter whether we try him on the toilet or a potty - no interest, we have tried mega praise - not interested, tried "gold" stars & a chart - no joy, tried him in bear bum around the house for ages with his potty in site hoping he may just go & poo - no way. We have tried underpants and pull ups and no matter what he has on or no matter how many times he is asked he sas he doesn't need one.Then he will go off somewhere quite and poo. When we talk to him about it he either says no more poo poo or poo poo stinky. We are at a loss any tips or any similar experiences ?. Thanks alot.

Answer 1

This might sound odd but my niece had a similar problem with her first son. He refused to go and waited until he had his nappy on. They took the strange step of letting daddy sit on the toilet with his newspaper/magazine until he had pooped. Then they let thier son sit on the toilet with one of his favourite books for as long as he could manage. Eventually, he was so interested in the fact that he was allowed to take his book with him for ages, he forgot about his pooping and only realised that he had done one when it splashed into the bowl. Lots of praise followed and he now picks up a book and goes to the toilet on his own. It might not work for everybody but it's worth a try. Good luck.

Answer 2

My son would not p**p in the toilet, so I made a deal with him, I said he could wear a nappy to p**p in till he was 4, then he had to use the bathroom, he agreed, and when he turned 4 I reminded him and after that he went to the bathroom to p**p, I was under the impression he didnt like the water to splash him, so I showed him how to put a little bit of paper down first, that helped when the time came, but till then he would tell me when he wanted a poo, and I would put a nappy on him, then he would go behind the sofa and do it, hes 21 now and would kill me if he knew I was writing about him! kids are odd little creatures, try not to worry about it, they grow out of practically everything in the end!

Answer 3

for p**p: tell him his p**p wants to swim in the toilet...

for pee: use blue water in the toilet and have him magically turn it green with his urine...

don't let him use a nappy at night... leave him in the poopy underwear... he'll hAte it, then beg to be trained...

Answer 4

you can try lining his potty with a nappy. I was going to try this but my son just did it one day in the potty and he never looked back thank goodness! Good Luck

Answer 5

I think it would be a good idea to take him to your GP just to make sure there is nothing physicaly going on - he may be constipated so it hurts him to do a poo, and this is why he is holding on.  

If there is nothing physical going on then maybe your health visitor can come up with some more ideas as incentives for him to go in his potty.

Answer 6

I am concerned when you say he tries to hide it in his bed, which is alarming, it seems to infer that he is scared to death of you finding it. Have you at some time shouted at him for not using the potty or toilet, that has scared him. If so it is going to take a lot of patience to get him to trust you when you say it is not a problem. I would have a word with your doctor and ask if he can refer you to a specialist in this type of behaviour, to help you. Good luck.

The only way i can advise you is what you apparently have already tried and that is praise, by telling him what a big boy he is when you manage to get him to go on potty, instill in him that you and daddy do it on the toilet because you are grown up and he is a big big boy if he does it too. That he will be able to go to school and play with lots of children if he shows what a big boy he is and goes on his potty or on the toilet.