Too dump or not to dump (please help i am so angry!)?

Question

PLEASE I KNOW ITS A LONG READ BUT HELP ME OUT.....THANKS!

ok my fiance is now living in alabama and I'm still in in california to finish college..I'm supposed to move down there with him but hes making me rethink everything!

we usually talk every day and that changed thursday he didn't call me and i didn't call him i felt i shouldn't have to be the one to call seeing as i have to go to school everyday and do so much work. anyway he doesn't call all day thursday not even to ask how my test went so I'm pissed...he then waits all the way until friday afternoon (night for him) to call and he tells me he had to go to his sisters BBQ/Family Reunion so i say ok its family so who cares and i let him go do his BBQ thing or whatever (not realizing that he wasn't talking about his real sister but his old baby sitter who gained the sister title way back when... sooo the following day saturday he calls and says HES ON HIS WAY TO THE FAMILY REUNION! the one that was supposed to be the day before!! i go off on him because he lied to me then he tells me he isn't going and that hes just gonna wait until later to go to his other sisters house warming party.....(which makes no since...who has a house warming right after a family reunion?) so I'm just so mad i say whatever and hang up. he calls me tonite mind you its 3:25AM here which means its 5:25AM there and he had the NERVE to tell me hes at a restaurant with his brother and family and he will be home and call me shortly...after i cursed him out for a good 15mins he confessed that he was out in the club all night with his brother and friends...and told me that he didn't want to her me holler at him because he was drunk! i hung up in his face and i don't think I'm gonna talk to him again...

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO DUMP OR TRY AND WORK THINGS OUT?

Answer 1

if you love each other work it out...... if not dont bother .... simple

Answer 2

Hi. I'm not sure if I can give you the right answer or the answer that you're looking for.

But personally, that's where it all starts spiraling down.

That's how my first relationship started to end. The little lies, excuses for not remembering to send me an SMS or call me, drinking sessions with his friends, and started spending less and less time together (unlike when our relationship first started, we always tried to make time for one another no matter how impossible it seemed)...

Well.. I still do hurt sometime because I MADE THE MOVE to break things up with him.. it's been months now. But I'm glad that I did, because now, I'm not blind to his flaws any longer. My eyes have been opened and I now know that I did the right thing no matter how depressing it has been for me..

I hope you do the right thing for YOU as well..

ps

Praying and reflecting on my actions always helps me.

Answer 3

i think you should try and work things out, tell him that you want to know the truth and that if you cant trust him there is no reason for you to go out with him  let him explain and give him a few days

don' talk to him for like 3 days though unless he calls with an apology  

Answer 4

come on let the man have a life. just cuz he doent call you for one day doenst mean anything.  gee maybe if you gave him a little room he will tell you more things. just try and work things out.

Answer 5

HONEY,,,U SOUND LIKE A VERY SMART GIRL,,,WHY??WASTE YOUR TIME ON THIS GUY,,,ILL BET YOU HIS NOT ONLY JUST GOING OUT WITH SO CALLED FRIENDS,,I THINK HIS OUT THERE TRYING TO GET PUSS ON THE SIDE,,,AND HE WILL EVENTULLLY TELL U ITS OVER,,IF I WERE U I WOULD TELL HIM U THINK ,,,U BOTH NEED TO START SEEING OTHER PEOPLE,,,IF HE JUST SAYS OK,,,THEN U NO HES ALLREADY FOUNT ANOTHER GIRL,,,IF HE BEGS YOUR FORGIVNESS,,THEN HE DOSE LOVE YOU,,N THEN IT WILL B UP TO U,,TO TRUST WHAT HE SAYS,,,,GOOD LUCK,,,LIFES TO SHORT TO WASTE IT ON LIEING BFS,,,,PEACE

Answer 6

honey calm down =]

every thing will be ok =]

i know your upset and i understand why.

This guy is really confusing don't talk to him for a day er two.

I'm going out with a guy from Alabama and I'm in Oklahoma.

Long distance relationships are hard.

This guy really seems to not know who hes got.

i don't know. YOU really should be the one to think about this, not some people who don't know the old him and new him like you do.

Like i said take a day er two to figure his out.

AND TALK TO HIM!!!!!

tell him how you feel with out losing your temper.

i promise that if this guy loves you he'll put more of an effort to show you.  

Answer 7

I get the impression that you might be prone to over-reacting, or being possessive, so he feels he can't be honest with you for feel or hurting you. I only think that because it sounds similar to my relationship! I think you need to work on your communication skills - and really think about why he makes you feel that way.

Answer 8

Sorry about your sadness.  But in my experiance guys have no clue as to how to be decent at a young age.  (most of them anyway)  But they dont give it the same thought as women do.  For them its a very self orientated performance in life.  The best way to go, imo.  Is to do your schooling and do the BEST you can.  Dont let him shake up what you do with what he does.  He is not doing that.  You better believe he is living it up.  And he cant even help it.  And with you "nagging" at him it will only push him further.  That is what he is thinking. Then he will validate himself for doing whatever he wants.  Until you are  married and really a team this is how it will be.  You cant force things either so Really,, do yourself a favor and chill out.  Put all that force into your school and parties with your girls.  I know just how you feel, we are all there at times.  Maybe tell him that you want to take a break and do that.  Date other men, have some fun.  Marriage is a BIG step and all this back and forth fussing and lying and reminding each other about the stupid stuff you do is not healthy and is not a good way to start the rest of your life.

Answer 9

Hi China, I'm really sorry to hear about that, I'd love to know since how long u both been together.

anyway, so from the way I see it is that he felt like he is been captured or blocked when he was with u in California and once he got out, he felt like he is free to do whatever he wants and forget about his fiance for a while, and that's really very bad, u r his fiance so it supposed to be that he loves u cuz otherwise he wouldn't choose u as the girl that he want to spend his life with, and if he really loves u then he would feel like missing u everyday and calling u everyday and tell u how much he really loves u, but the way he acted was really bad, and he shouldn't do like this.

but from the way I see it, u've been both together since a long time I guess and u must be really loving him and I don't want u to get heart broken and that will really affect u specially that u r studying and working at this time, and I really appreciate people who is like this and I think that u really a great girl and u deserve the best

so I'm gonna tell u about something, give him another chance to make it up to u and work things out cuz in the end we all human beings and its from our nature to make mistakes but the most important we dont do it all over again and we learn from it and gain experience, if he really changes and u felt like he still loving u and ready to do whatever to make u feel happy and spend a nice life together and that he knew that he was wrong and learned from it then it will be great, if he didn't then just dump him and by that time u wont regret about it cuz u gave him another chance.

thats all what I can say, I'd love if there is something more I can do to help u, but thats all I can say, wish u a gd luck from all my heart and hope all will be fine and u will do great in ur study and work and be with the right guy for u, the one that really loves u for all what u r and ready to do whatever to make u happy, cuz simply u deserve it

Dont forget the most important Take care and keep smiling :), life is too short

Have a nice weekend, if u needed any more help or anything feel free to contact me at anytime

Answer 10

You have two problems. You are very far apart. This situation rarely works. While you may have loyalty and good intentions regarding the relationship, he is not working at it as hard as you are. The second is that he is beginning to lie to you. That will not change. It will get worse because once you begin lying, then you have to keep doing it until you don't know what the truth is anymore. Why would you want to move to Alabama when he isn't caring about how you feel? I would break it off now because once a dog always a dog. You deserve better. Worry about your studies and meet a nice guy close to you.

Answer 11

China...obviously the boy feels like he has to lie to you or you are going to get upset.

This is going to breed some contempt and mistrust between the two you...already has as you are upset at his actions and he is likely upset at your reactions.

I would say that you guys probably need to have a long CALM talk about where you are and what you want out of life.

Neither one of you should feel like you have to lie to the other to do or have what you want out of life. If things continue as you described both of you are likely heading for a miserable life.

Talk and see if things can be sorted out before you just leap and dump. It might be that if YOU calm down he might be more willing to share the truth with you and you guys relationship will be better.