Too happy of an ending for my baby?

Question

My pregnancy was so complicated that I was told by 2 MFM doctors that I would be blessed to carry my pregnancy to 28 weeks. Upon that news I befriended many women via online and real time with preemies. Most of their children were born between 24 and 30 weeks, my son ended up being born at 35 weeks. Now at 4 months old my son has reached all age specific milestones but I don't want to share any of my good news because I don't want to hurt anyone. Just so the question can be taken in prespective some of the children will never eat orally, have trachs, oxygen tanks, home health and life long mental and physical handicaps.

Do I tell them about how I am feeling or just not bring up my sons accomplishments? I don't want to lose these friends, they are amazing and their children and heavenly children are amazing... I just feel guilt.

Answer 1

"I don't want to lose these friends, they are amazing and their children and heavenly children are amazing... I just feel guilt."  This is what you need to tell them in my opinion.  Real friends will be happy for you and glad  to still have your support.

Answer 2

Dont feel guilty - I'm sure those mother will be happy for your news, just like they will wanna share there happy milestones with you. They might feel a little left out if you didnt share with them.

Congrats on having a healthy baby. I had twin preemies at 31wks, and they were (and are) fine, didnt reach all their milestones as quick as other babies, but i would never have been upset with another mother whose child had. Dont Stress, i believe they will be just as happy as you!

Answer 3

I think they would be happy for you considering that you were told that more than likely 28 weeks would be the longest you would carry baby before giving birth.You beat the odds and usually people are glad to hear that someone has beaten the odds of something like this. If you do say something about it then just tell them that you are not tryin to gloat about it,you just wanted to share your story with the people you care about

Answer 4

if they are your true friends they will be happy for you and your son's accomplishments

Answer 5

i'll just tell you how i would feel, my son was born with a very serious cleft lip and palate, when i found out, i started going online making friends talking to people and charing my experience with other people who where just starting out on the journey i've been taking.

If you befriended me because you where afraid your baby would have the same affliction as mine, i would pray my heart out for your baby, i would most likely cry happy tears with you because your baby doesn't have to struggle what my strong brave little guy has.

I would be happy for you, not resentful, because no child should have to endure what those with special needs sometimes must.

share your feelings.. people who truely care, truely want the best for you and yours, will share your joy!

Answer 6

maybe they would just be happy for you as well, im sure that just because you got lucky they wouldnt ditch you as friends

Answer 7

Don't feel guilty. It was a blessed miracle that your child overcame these complications before birth. If they ask about him, don't lie. But don't get online to brag either.

Congratulations on your healthy little one and don't feel guilty!

Answer 8

you should share your happiness. Just dont bragg that your baby is do this and that when another preemie mom is struggling because her baby is having developmental problems

Answer 9

I have a friend who's daughter was born just after my son , she was born at 27 weeks.  She loves hearing about the things my son is doing. She realizes that her daughter will do those things one day and they are things she looks forward to just not as soon as she thought. enjoy your baby and all of his milestones soon he will be running and there will be no more milestones left.