Too soon to have a baby?

Question

I'm recently married. I'm 24 years old and my wife is 19. I'm a Soldier, deploying to Iraq (my second deployment with my medical unit) for a year in 2009. We've been talking about having a kid sometime soon, but I'm not sure if the best time would be to have one now, and have her pregnant while I'm away on deployment, or to wait until we get back.

Answer 1

I think it's too soon, you would miss out on her pregnancy and everything, and no way in h**l would I want to have a kid at 19, Live your lives a little, have fun for a few more years and them have a kid.

Answer 2

I would say WAIT until you get back it will be much better and easier for her and for you too! Woman need alot of attention while going through a pregnancy!  

Answer 3

Personally i would wait.

Answer 4

Thats def. a personal decision. Im part of a military family also, and my husband and his brother are in the army. When they went to Iraq in 2003 his brothers wife got pregnant right before he left. It worked out really good for them, it was hard because their son was 3 months old before he got to meet his daddy, but it was their 2nd child so it made it a little easier with him not being there.  If my husband found out he had to leave here soon, I would def. try and get pregnant before he left even though it would be both of our first child, I would still want to. Good luck to you, and Thanks for serving our country...God Bless

Answer 5

Well it is up 2 you guys if u want to have a baby or not. My best friend's husband is in the Army and she got pg right before he deployed to Iraq. He did get to come home when their son was born but a few days after he had to deploy again. It was really hard for her being pregnant without her husband. He didn't even get to go to one ultrasound. She was so lonely and when he had to leave right after the baby was born it broke her heart because she was all alone and she wanted to share that time with her husband but he had to go. I would wait if I were you just so you can go through everything together as husband and wife creating your own little family on your own. Any choice you do make has to be your choice tho! If you did decide to have a baby it would still be a blessing!!! It would just be hard tho! Best of luckkk!!!!!!!!  

Answer 6

I would wait.  This is such a special time that you should share together.  Also, it's nice to have a while where it's just the two of you.  Having our son has been a blessing and, other than getting married, is the best thing to ever happen to me.  That being said, I'm glad we waited so we could have time just for us.

Good luck, and thanks for serving our country.

Answer 7

wait till you get back from deployment.  so that she is not alone and pregnant and you are not 9999million miles away worried.  

Answer 8

Wait until you get back. Pregnancy is very difficult and overwhelming and scary and wonderful and it's not something to go through alone. And You should be there to witness the entire experience too, you would be missing out on a huge experience. Just my opinion. Good Luck

Answer 9

First of all, thank you for your service, us in the good old USA really appreciate you guys and pray for you everyday. I would try to conceive  now, it will keep her occupied while you are gone and you will have a little one to look forward to coming home to.

Answer 10

As a veteran, I can totally see the predicament you are in.  And it's a tough call, which ultimately, only you and your wife can make.

I can't see any reason why you should rush to make a baby knowing you'll be gone and missing so much of the beginning of your child's life.  It would be hard on her as well, to have to go through the pregnancy, birth and first few months alone.  

I understand that perhaps she feels the need to start a family while you are gone to fill the void of not having you around.  Well, I would suggest adopting a puppy or kitten together before you leave.  That way, she can share with you all the neat milestones the puppy/kitten goes through and you won't feel as guilty about leaving them alone.

Deployments are truly a test of one's commitment.  I've deployed 3 times and although I don't want to share personal details, I can definitely tell you it's best to wait.  A child isn't insurance.  It won't guarantee either of you will pass the test of such a long separation (not that I'm saying you couldn't handle it).  And it wouldn't be fair to the new baby if you and your wife felt differently after the year went by.  (That happens so much, it's depressing)

Take the year instead to further your education and your wife can get some quality alone time with her girlfriends to do all the fun things that men don't really enjoy.  Ask her to prepare herself emotionally and physically so that when you come home, the two of you can get to know each other again and then start working on making a family!

Oh, and if it makes her feel better, perhaps you can get some of your sperm frozen before you go.  That way, if you are injured or GOD FORBID something worse happens, she will still have the option to have your baby.  It's a morbid thought, but I bet there are plenty of wives out there who have considered this and maybe regret it when they don't do it.  So just give it some thought.

Answer 11

I would advise you to wait. My aunt had her 3rd while my uncle was away on deployment. Having my uncle away was emotionally rough on my aunt. Being pregnant, a woman ought to try and put as little emotional strain on herself as possible and if you were to be away, I'm going to assume that your wife would be constantly worried about you and that wouldn't be good for her pregnancy. Plus, you'll want to be there for her during the pregnancy. And what if you're over in Iraq and they extend your deployment (it's been known to happen) and you miss the delivery? So, I guess, if it were me, I'd wait. Have her get really healthy in the meantime (not to say that she isn't already) and get to know some other moms in the area as a support group.

Answer 12

either lose ur job goin to iraq 2 support ur baby men should do that anywayz wait til u get back because u shouldnt leave ur baby i perfer the 1st choice!

Answer 13

If I was in that situation, I would wait. It's hard enough to deal with a deployment without adding the stress of pregnancy to it.

Answer 14

Only you can decide if it is the right time, but I would not want to have a baby while my husband was away.  I would wait, you just got married and you are both so young. Also what if something goes wrong while you are away? I have had a difficult pregnancy and have needed my husband by my side every step of the way.

Answer 15

Not only are you both way too young but you are deploying. NEVER get a woman pregnant when you are about to deploy. Trust me, your relationship will suffer enough while you are deployed and it will be 10 times worse if she is pregnant. Also, don't get lonely while you are in Iraq and cheat on her with a female soldier or start emailing random women online and getting all wrapped up in porno. It is hurtful to the women at home and 90% of the time, the woman will find out about it and your relationship will come to and end.

Cheating while in Iraq is a very common mistake that soldiers make and they usually always regret it.

As young as you two are right now, chances are you may not even stay married long so a baby would be a bad idea. Wait until you are married 3-4 years and know without a doubt that you are staying married.

Military couples have a VERY HIGH divorce rate, that's a fact. Usually they divorce due to infidelity.

Good Luck!

Answer 16

I think its really up to u two. Lots of couples have a baby and the guy misses out. See what she thinks and how u feel about missing the birth.