Top Ten Ashes Moust-‘ashes’ (Part 1)
As the Ashes frenzy draws nearer, it is time to look up some interesting facts from history. The upcoming Ashes is sure to be an epic battle between two arch rivals however interestingly enough, these last few years have witnessed the Ashes' captains with their cheeks as smooth as a freshly powdered babies bottom. Clean shaven men, trying to pull off an aura of macho-ness but falling desperately short.
Ricky Ponting resembles more like the Tazzy devil while Andrew Strauss’ macho face is actually cute. He does not succeed in pulling off a ‘tough-guy’ face, but rather resembles Jonas brothers and one feels like giving him a candy. Looking back into retrospect makes us realize that Moust‘ashes’ are now missing from the action.
Over the years, mankind has witnessed some fascinating display of facial hair from the Ashes men in battle gear.
1. MERV HUGHES (Australia):
Merv Hughes' moustache makes it to the top of our list for the top ten Ashes Moustaches. It was perfect. His walrus like moustache was broad and furry, giving an uncanny semblance to the biker boys from the country side. One cannot rule out the fact that his moustache must have needed some careful cultivation.
He played in 20 Ashes Test matches, taking 75 wickets and it can be said that when the burly man came steaming to the crease, he would have given the batsmen shaky legs with the formidable handlebar ‘Tashes’.
2. DAVID BOON (http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Australia-c746):
David Boon found near perfection with his moustaches that seemed to sprout in magnificent fashion from his nostrils in an attempt to emulate the ethereal beauty of Hughes ‘Tashes’. Walrus like in appearance, they were furry and would have certainly caught the froth of a few beers while he was at it. If Stuart Broad played at that time, he could have lost his way in those moustaches.
Interestingly enough, it was said that on one flight from Sydney to London, Boon gulped down 52 cans of beer before the 1989 tour of the Ashes. He had an Ashes batting average of 45 with a highest score of 184 not out and played in 31 Ashes Tests.
3. GRAHAM GOOCH (England):
If there was an Englishman who could compete with the Aussies in the handlebar ‘Tashes’ competition, it has to be none other than http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Graham-c60529 Gooch. Not only did he have the perfect handlebar moustaches, he also wore a gold chain. He certainly gave the Kangaroos a run for their money. He played 42 Ashes Tests with a highest score of 196.
4. IAN BOTHAM (England):
Botham led England to victory in the 1981 Ashes with an unbeaten 149 not out. However in the world of moustache men, he never shied away from sporting some facial hair. Be it a beard or a rather cheeky unimpressive ‘Tash’. Here we are spending our time appreciating his moustache and not his Ashes career which was quite impressive too. He played 36 Ashes Tests with a highest Test score of 149 not out and 148 Ashes wickets.
5. JACK RUSSELL (England):
If there ever was a man whose Moust‘ash’ was the stuff of the legends, it has to be none other than the wicket keeper Jack http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Russell-c87177 who had a legendary 70’s moustache. However that alone does not make him legendary for he was an avid tea drinker not to mention his uncanny obsession of baked beans.
But, he preferred Hienz over all others. His ‘Tash’ they say was a tribute to his county of http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Gloucestershire-c785. He played in 9 Ashes Tests with a highest score of 128 not out and a decent batting average of 32, however we aren’t much interested in those trivial little details.
(To be continued in Part 2)
(The writer is an aspiring entrepreneur who transforms into a sports fanatic at night, something like Edward Cullen with a brain. He uses fiction to produce humour for a living)
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