Top Ten Ashes Moust-‘ashes’ (Part 2)
6. DENNIS LILLEE (Australia):
The Kangaroos and Tazzys loved him. The Poms hated him. This fine sportsman enjoyed 13 good years at the top of his game. He was without a doubt one of the finest bowlers to have graced the Aussie side with his firepower. He was a narcissist though as he experimented with his headband for some time.
Once he also used an aluminium bat which was a cause of much controversy. However, it was the stylish hair above his upper lip that made him quite a heart throb amongst the ladies. He played 29 Ashes Tests taking a preposterous 167 Ashes wickets with his best bowling figures being 7 for 89.
7. IAN CHAPPELL (http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Australia-c746):
This fine warrior led his side from the front to create a formidable team. One who would most certainly win the battle of the Moust‘ashes’. However that wasn’t the only ‘Ashes’ battle he won for his side. Speaking of Ian Chappell brings back fond memories of one of his famous statements made in 1976.
He said, “... although, we didn’t deliberately set out to be a ‘bunch of b******s’ when we walked on to the field, I’d much prefer any team I captained to be described like that than as a ‘nice bunch of blokes on the field.” He played in 30 Ashes Test matches with a highest score of 192 and a rather impressive batting average of 41. However, this time it is his inspiring moust‘ash’ that has made a place in our hearts.
8. ALLAN LAMB (England):
With windswept Caucasian features and a certain degree of raunchiness about him, the moust‘ash’ was like the cherry on top. He also wore a chain while he was at it. His pencil – thin styled moust‘ash’ was most certainly refreshing. Legend has it that once he successfully removed the tires off the car of the umpire Dickie http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Bird-c48123 leaving it standing on bricks, which automatically makes him less likeable.
He played in 20 Ashes Test matches with the highest score of 125 runs and a batting average of 34. As long as he has a moust‘ash’, we don’t care about much else.
9. ALLAN BORDER (Australia):
Allan Border was one of the greatest Australian batsmen and captains. His record was marvellous, his Ashes Test average phenomenal and his moustache reminiscent of a second hand car salesman. How often does one find that happening that too on the cricket field. For this reason alone, this man is legendary. He also played in 47 Test matches with the highest Test score of 200 not out however it was his wiry messy moust‘ash’ that makes him worthy of being in this list of top ten Ashes Moust‘ashes’.
10. ROBIN SMITH (England):
For anyone making at the bottom of our list must have one bad moustache. We do have a winner for one of the worst Ashes Moust‘ash’. It was thin wiry with a strange eeriness about it. Nicknamed by the England team mates as the Judge for his bubble perm hair, this man had the moust‘ash’ that reminded one of a Mexican drug lord. Yes it was that bad, however his batting average was not as bad, at 39 and a highest Ashes score of 143.
KEVIN PIETERSEN (England):
Well well, look who’s here. Our very own Kevin Pietersen- the lord of eccentricities. Just when most of you would have thought that the list was over, we have a surprise addition with the ugliest Ashes moust‘ash’ award that goes hands down to Kevin Pietersen. He will be sporting a moust‘ash’ in the first Ashes Test in Brisbane. Fellow team mate James Anderson stated that he looked like, “Matt Dillon from ‘There’s Something About Mary'”.
Surprisingly, he does look quite a lot like Matt Dillon with the moust‘ash’. Fans can only hope that the facial hair would give the Tazzy batting line up some ‘hairy moments’.
(The writer is an aspiring entrepreneur who transforms into a sports fanatic at night, something like Edward Cullen with a brain. He uses fiction to produce humour for a living)
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