Torn with what to do? Change churches? or Settle?

Question

Im sorry this is long - Im just really confused, and need help, answers, and prayers!!!!!

I'll explain the timeline that has lead up to our confusion on wether to change church families or not.

I listed a prayer request for healing on my communication-member card. Typically the leaders of the church send out cards insuring that they indeed prayed for us. I received NO cards, no calls... nothing. We missed church 3 weeks in a row due to my illness. No calls, no cards nothing. The 4th week we missed was because we went out of town.. again no calls, no cards .. nothing. The 5th week we were upset that not one single person cared that we had missed church 4 weeks in a row... so the 5th Sunday we slept in. We finally got a card in the mail saying "We noticed we haven't been receiving your communication card, If this is a mistake then we apologize. We would rather send out a card in mistake than to overlook someone that has been missing church services" WHOA- they didn't know we had missed 5 weeks? Only our lack of communication card showed us missing? WE SIT ON THE FRONT ROW! WEV'E BEEN MEMBERS FOR A YEAR! It has now been 8 weeks that we have not attended church, and we still have gotten nothing except the card stated previously. No one has missed us, or noticed our absence. How do they know that the healing I asked for is not something I needed support in??? It's just hard to except the slap in the face - the card they sent stating they hoped it was an oversight!

This church also has no Bible class suitable for our age (they have 3 classes for the elderly). The Wednesday night classes are for member with children that are in 4th grade and older. Sunday night is small groups - we have 2 young children under the age of 4, it is not feasible to bring my children into someone elses home for a couple of hours a week. So other than Sunday morning services then they have nothing else for us there.

Now it sounds like a easy decision - its not. My husband and I searched for churches for 2 years when God finally lead us to the church we attend now. My husband was raised in a different up-bringing than me - he was non-denominational... and I was Church of Christ. This is the first church we found that we could agree on, and loved. They teach directly from the Bible, and have the same views as us over baptism. Most non-denominational churches do not view baptism as the same as me...

So do we start the search again??? Or try and make the best of the family we have now??

Answer 1

You may be being a bit too sensitive about the cards. Try to forgive and forget that. You are very busy with two small children, but there may be some others like you who are in the same boat. Maybe you could get together with them and share child care costs. I would stay and try to work something out.

Answer 2

Churches are human organizations.  Sometimes mistakes are made and oversights happen.  It's no big deal.  We go to church to worship God.  Also, there's the biblical teaching about forgiveness that we should never overlook.

Answer 3

Search.

Answer 4

You said God led you there, what does He say about you leaving?

There are no perfect churches and no perfect Christians. I'd recommend you communicate with them and let them know, non agressively that you were disappointed about their lack of attention when you were gone and try to work it out.

Why not hire a sitter and go to small group with your Husband on Sunday nights?

I'd recommend you and your husband pray about this situation and see what God wants and then go forward. This can be worked out if you are willing.

Answer 5

Go to church tomorrow, express to them your feelings.  If they didn't realize you were gone, tell them how angry/hurt that makes you feel.

If they show no signs of sympathy, leave that church.

Answer 6

You views on baptisum should not be a determining factor for selector

a church but your love for christ should be.

God loves you...God bless

Answer 7

Dear Torn with what to do,

I hope you do not take this wrong, but you are in the wrong church. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. the Mormon's. If you would have been a member of my church your experience would have been completely different. I do not say this to brag but to show you how a Christian church should respond to your needs.

When someone is sick in our church, they can request to have a special blessing given to them by one holding the authority to give it. This authority is called the Priesthood. You would not have had to wait long for it.  I have also prayed and fasted for other members of my ward when they were really sick. I have also put names of those who were sick in on the temple prayer list, and for two weeks prayers are said for them.

Every member in our ward or congregation has home teachers and visiting teachers. The home teachers are two men from the ward who come to visit your family once a month to see how you are doing and to give you a spiritual message or thought. The visiting teachers are two women who have things in common with you. They come and visit once a month too. This gives each member someone they can quickly call and get help from.

A recent example of service was given to my daughter who had a baby 10 months ago. He was born pre-mature. We only had 45 minutes notice before he was born. My daughter was afraid, and worried about her baby. The doctor said that he was not growing and that he needed to be taken "C" section that very afternoon. They did not even send her home to get her clothes. Her husband rushed to the hospital. I called my husband and we too were on our way. We got there and my husband and my son in law who hold the priesthood gave her a blessing. She had the baby and both came through it successfully. The baby was at the hospital for almost two weeks. While they were there her bishop and his two councilors came twice.

The bishop is similar to what a pastor would be. He has two councilors to help him. Some are over small congregations or wards, others are over very large wards. They recieve no pay. They do it for free and serve for 5 or more years. They are called to serve in this capacity. When their time is up, then someone else will be called. It is a big job, but they do it out of love of the people in their ward and love of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Her Relief Society president also called along with her visiting teachers and other friends in her ward. She had only been in her ward for about a year and a half, and were only renting their house. Though the people in her ward knew that they were only there temporarily, they didn't care. They showed them love and friendship and help when needed.

When she went home with the baby, she had meals brought in, and visits made to her. This is typical in our church. We try to take care of our neighbors, and our fellow church members. They in return take care of us when we need it.

As far as Sunday School goes, we have it on Sunday. It is usually after our Sacrament meeting which is the meeting where we partake of the sacrament and hear uplifting talks. After the sacrament meeting we divide into different groups. The children ages 18 months to 12 years all go to nursery or primary where fun activities, lessons and songs are offered while the adults attend Sunday school. Teens attend a youth Sunday school class just for them, and then they go to Young Women's or Priesthood meetings for the last hour.  The third hour we attend Relief Society or Priesthood. The women attend Relief Society and the men attend Priesthood. I really enjoy getting together with the women in our ward and learning about gospel subjects.

Their are also lots of other activities for us to get involved in. The teens go to Young Mens and Womens activities once a week where they do fun things together and learn about gospel subjects.

Their are fun things for everyone such as ward activities, parties, get togethers for just the women, service projects, etc. With so many people a part of your life in a good way, you will never get lost or forgotten.

Please, check out the Mormon church. I can't tell you what happiness it has brought into my life my husband's life, and the lives of my children. I know it will do the same for you. Besides all this, the greatest thing about the church is that it is true! I feel the witness of the Holy Ghost when I go. Ask God and see if you are not lead to find out more about the LDS faith.

If you are interested, the place to start is to talk to an active member of the church or the missionaries. You can find them in the phone book under The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If you are not ready for this, and just want someone to talk to from the church, just click on my picture and email me. I would love to answer any of your questions especially about how we are baptized.

Answer 8

Maybe the Lord led you there not just to learn, but to help too.  Begin by praying about it.  Then make an appointment with the pastor to communicate your concerns.  You might not like the outcome, but it would be better to know for sure than to be held in limbo.  

We had a similar experience.  But it did not turn out well.  Eventually the entire church was dissolved.  

My point?  If you were led to this church and want to be apart of this family, then act like it.  Pray for your family.  Contribute not just financially, but find out where they may need assistance.  Maybe there's a lack of classes because there's a lack of help.  

Prayer is your first and constant answer.  Prayer is communication with the TRUE leader of church, Jesus.  He knows what's going on and He's the one who can tell you what and how.

I hope it turns out much better for you than it did for us.

Answer 9

Pray your heart out to God, using his name, (you know psalms 83:18) ask to find the true religion.......

See what he does...

Answer 10

Attend church and have them pray for you at the alter service.

If they are still asses after that then change churches.

Answer 11

1> Missing you:

If you had 300 children- how easy would it be the overlook that one had not shown up for supper? EASY.  But if that child didn't show up for several dinners,you would probably notice.  as  a mother of 300 children, do you take time to make the dinner plate of each one with a happy smiley face shaped into each one's individual favorite cartoon character?  No.  You spoon up what that kids needs to eat- you don't have the time or attention to do more.

The same is with the church. They are a group of people whos goal is to praise god together and grow in your common faith- not to give you personalized service.  Please- be reasonable.  Yes- as a part of the whole- they love you- but because they do not have the attention to detail- does not mean they HATE you.

2.) bible class:

If this group of believers are not serving your needs when it comes to your own growth.. well then this is a whole other kettle of fish.  This is the goal!  You can not grow as a person without the correct tools or guidance.  The prayer card aside, this would be something that would seriously make me leave.

It boils down to 'is there nothing better?'

If the answer is "no" then don't.  Something is better then nothing.

Answer 12

Some church's do not have a out reach to members

They let members decide if they want to come back or not.

Most will not phone you and say hey you missed church this week what happen.

Some people get offended when a person calls and says hey you were not at church this week what happened.

They probably know you missed by not being there but have not said anything.

They do not keep a close watch over cards that are missing.

That does not mean they do not care.

If you feel you need more attention when you miss church then you may want to find another church.

Did you call them and let them know you were sick or another person?

If so and they did nothing then I would seek another church.

Answer 13

It may have just been an honest mistake.  My Church is a little different, we don't have communication cards.  The social aspect is less active.  But I like it because it makes me feel close to God.  If the Church makes you feel closer to God, then stay.  If it doesn't, find another one.  I can't really tell from your question if the Church is bringing you to God or not.  In my mind, that is the social support is less important than that.  God bless, hope your medical issues are resolved.

Answer 14

If you enjoy the sermons, the ministers  communicate messages that reach you, then who really cares if they know you are there or not?  You know you went, and this whole childish "don't you love me?" routine is all  your own ego.  

You are demanding attention from your church, and perhaps the higher lesson here to for you to let this go, god may just be the one having them forget the cards, so you can learn how to get over it.

Answer 15

Well, I think you should try to go back and see how it is for a few weeks and really try to make friends within the Church. If this doesn't work out, you should go on a search again. Though your views on the baptism may complicate things, really, you should try out different churches. There is but one Body of Christ.

Answer 16

No need to be too concerned about it since Jesus did not build any churches. He was sowing seeds that save. (Luke 8:11) If you want the real thing, I would go for that. This will explain what that Original Kingdom Gospel was all about. http://gospelenigma.com

And baptism also has a kind of mystery behind it, since everyone acts as if they know what Jesus and John the Baptist were doing in those early Baptisms, but they are all just guessing. More on that above as well.

Do what you feel comfortable with. But I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.