Totally Inappropriate?

Question

My best friend had a miscarriage and what would have been her due date is coming up. I want to do something to lift her spirits as well as remember the child she lost on that day, which I am sure will be hard for her. Please let me know what you think would be appropriate if anything at all. I don't want to offend her or get a bad reaction. Thanks in advance for your ideas!

Answer 1

i think it's really really good that you're doing this for your friend. i am not sure of how to go about it, but it's a great idea, and i applaud you for it :) i know i'd never think of it :) oh and tell her that we sympathize with her! it must be tough to go through a miscarriage, she's got to be amazingly tough!

Answer 2

I think you should let the day go, like a normal day.

On my due date (thanksgiving, actually) I just wanted to continue moving on.

I thought about it (and still do), but I would have been upset to think on it any extra.

She knows you are there for her, so just make sure you're having a regular girls day or something.

If she  wants to talk or commemorate--- she will.

You're a great friend.

Answer 3

I don't think you should do anything unless she initiates it herself. This is such a sensitive subject and you don't won't to make it any harder than it already is. My 1 yr anniversary just passed in March and I initially thought I wanted to be alone but decided that would be the worst thing to do. So instead I spent it w/ my friends and DH. Nobody reminded me of what day it was and even though it was on my mind it was good not to be so down and depressed and have other people reminding you of it. I suggest you just be there for her if she needs you. Don't pressure her to talk about it. If she does bring it up, just listen and be supportive. But I think it is really caring and sweet that you are thinking of her feelings at a time like this. It shows what a great friend you are.

Answer 4

dont remind her of a child she lost shell be extra bummed just take her out to lunch or girls night out

Answer 5

I had 5 miscarriages and someone doing some thing,on the due date, would of upset me greatly.

Can you talk with your friend, let her know you are thinking of her and remember the date. Let her know you are there for her, if she wants to talk about it. Perhaps a card, just saying 'thinking of you' and take her out for a meal or if she may be emotional...a picnic, (and a stroll) were she could talk without being overheard or worried about being emotional in front of others. She may want to talk about ANYTHING but the baby, play it by ear.

Answer 6

Let her take the lead.  Don't remind her of it, she may have chosen to block it out.  You might really upset her if you bring it up on her due date, which will not lift her spirits.  If she mentions it, then by all means ask her if there is anything you can do because you care for her so much.

It is nice of you, your heart is in the right place.

Answer 7

I really don't think you should do anything. I suggest you wait a week or so and take her out to a nice simple brunch and give her some flowers. Some women are very sensitive about miscarriages and a lot of docs say it's best just for them to just put it out of their minds and forget it.

Answer 8

i think that is a good idea but also people react to things differently, i had to give birth to a child 'still' at 18 weeks and the hardest thing for me was explaining to my other 2 kids y we hadnt got a new baby so we all went out on my actual due date as a family and had a great time and it really took my mind off it even though i still thought about my baby i was moving on with my life. Why not ask her if she would like to do anything that day even if its just having a girlie night in with some dvds and a takeaway or a night on the town or just going out and having fun, let her talk about her feelings and she will appreciate having the thought even if she sas 'no not that day i ust dont feel ready'

good luck