Tough Love? Need some advice :(?

Question

Ok here goes.. My bf and I have been going out for 1 1/2 years. (we're both 19) I love him so very much, he is my whole world but lately I feel so emotionally lonely and confused.

Well first off he never compliments me or tells me what I mean to him or anything like that. I know guys show their love differently - the whole actions over words thing but we talk online everyday and its way more than I see him in person (due to uni/work)so I dont get that much anyway. And its something I need..I compliment him all the time, tell him how much he means to me..am I being selfish for wanting that too?

So a few weeks ago he stopped saying "I love you too" (i say it first mostly) and I ask if anythings wrong. It turns into an argument (we've had a few fights past week but its been sorted and was nothing big). He says "I don't say that stuff alot to anyone and well im sorry that i cant ever seem to do anything right". He tells me just becuase he doesnt say it doesn't mean its not there but I don't understand.. he didn't have any trouble saying it to me before, all I wanted was to know why he didn't say I love you back is it too much to ask..It really means alot to me and i told him that? It's been a week since that fight he still doesnt say it infact yesterday he replaced the usual goodnight have a good sleep with a simple 'cya'.

I feel I can't talk to him about it without starting a fight which I honestly don't want.

Thanks for reading I just had to get it off my chest, some feedback/advice would be muchly apreciated.

Answer 1

wow ive been in this exact situation before too. even my bf i have at the moment is like that sometimes.  im the same as you ( and most girls) i need compliments and for them to tell me how much i mean to them because i say it often too.   but ive realised that some guys dont like showing their emotions at all.. they really do believe that once they tell us something they dont need to repeat it all the time because they think we should know they feel that way.. my bf even says the same thing too "i cant do anything right" when i complain he isnt telling me he loves me enough because they dont see a problem.  i really dont believe hes feelings have changed, hes just used to you and the relationship and doesnt see a reason for having to make heaps of effort anymore..  and he will keep getting angry because in a way your trying to change him a little or make him do something he doesnt see the need to do.. maybe change the way you ask him, or explain it makes you feel nice and its not coz u dont believe him, just tell him its what makes you happy and if he wants to make you happy i cant see why he wouldnt agree to that.