Tough Situation with My Daughter?

Question

My daughter is starting to take after my wife. For some reason, after I got married, my wife let herself go. I'm a personal trainer so I try to encourage the family to take care of their bodies and get in the gym everyday. Too bad my wife isn't interested and my teenage daughter only cares about texting her best friend.

The problem is that my daughter has gained alot of weight and gets picked on at school. She's not very popular. I try to encourage her and tell her all the nerds I picked on in school went to college and got rich. But, now the "cutest boy in school" supposedly asked her out on a date. I think it's all bs and someone is playing a joke on her. Do I tell her that it's a joke before she accepts and embarrases herself? I don't want to hurt her feelings.

Answer 1

If you want to post fake questions, set your previous answers and questions to private so its believable.

PS, I hope you and your new baby are doing well! Dont forget to finish high school!

Answer 2

I think its great that you want to encourage your family to live a healthy lifestyle.  

Letting your daughter know that you picked on people who weren't as popular when you were her age isn't really going to help her situation much at all because she needs someone to look up to.

If you don't want to hurt her feelings...let this play out..people get hurt whether we like it or not...its a part of life we have to deal with.....she will learn and grow from it...of course if it gets out of hand...do the parent thing and step in.

in this type of situation: be there for her when she needs to talk...be there when she needs to cry...just be there.

Answer 3

well to be honest im 19 but i understand, in high school i got chubby and my dad straight up told me i was basicly fat and of course it hurt my fealings but it worked. yes and guys can be a******s the poor girl, well as far as telling her goes i think u should tell her to back off because this guy probably isnt being sincere if they hang out with comletley different groups because some kids will do anything to pull a dumb prank in any generation. also i think it may p**s her off but make her go to the gym with you on the weekends to spend time with her dad, trust me it may make her mad now but she'll be grateful for that time with you later on. i hope i could help

Answer 4

Buy a paddle for her and USE it.

Answer 5

Personally, i just love to sit around a text all day too. As a teenager, your daughter is probubly not going to listen to you when you tell her its just a joke, and that it would be easier if she found out the hard way, or by one of her friends, since usually, a teenager's number one priority is her friends. I know it may be hard for you to think as your daughter as being the subject as a joke, but just because shes a little overweight means that a guy can be interested in her? Popularity isnt every thing, and as long as she finds one good friend in life, thats all she needs. You cant force her to do something she doesnt want to do, and maybe, after she gets tired of all the jokes, shell want to do something about it, but for now you just need to let her be, and do what what she wants to do. Thats the best i can tell you, sorry. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

Don't get involved just let it take it's course.  If it is a joke it's better that she finds out herself.  If you are really worried about your wife and daughter then you need to sit down and talk to them... especially your wife.  I wish I had someone who would kick my butt into the gym.  Sometimes you just need some help to get motivated.

Answer 7

just say to your daughter i no you like being as you are but there is a reason for you getting bullied can you see if she says no then just say well your putting on a bit of weight for your age and i think its bout time you went to the gim with me for a bit and see what she says.

and about the cutest boy asking her out tell her to ask him if its true coz if its not and she accepts she is going to be hurt or you go and ask him then you will know k good look  

Answer 8

I don't think I would tell her it is a joke, but I would probably talk to her about it, and ask her about the possibility of it being a joke. Let her figure it out for herself.  You might want to make an appointment with a nutritionist for her instead of trying to take care of her weight yourself.  This way you are not involved, and she is in control.  

Answer 9

if you really think that it is bs tell her that you do not think that he is an appropriate person for her to date tell her that she is to special for him she will be mad at you but that is better than her getting her feelings hurt

Answer 10

It's amazing how vanity can ruin so many lives.Hopefully you care about your family and not how you think people feel about them.Your trying to save your daughters feelings from her peers but, your doing the most damage by making her feel she isn't good enough for a popular guy to ask out.Let's it's not a joke a this guy is serious and you have stopped her from having this moment happen for her how do you think she will feel.She can move on from rejection at school but,home "not so much".Wow she should be tough as nails her enemy is at home.Tell her you love her and stop sharing the school bully stories that you show you as  an @$$ okay. Stop the VANITY  people.  

Answer 11

If you don't know if it is a joke then you have nothing to tell her.  Also just because YOU are into exercise don't think it is your right to try and force your family to be into it as well.  Ever human on this planet is an individual and by the way...not all guys go for the skinny blonde bimbos...and Donald Trump is overweight himself.  But he doesn't do too badly for a Nerd.  

Answer 12

there are some lessons that are best learned first hand. you cant do much about your wife except accept her the way she is now and make total lifestyle changes with your family. start by getting rid of satellite or cable tv and getting prepaid cell phones for the kids.

make a family activity that everyone enjoys 2 nights a week and have conversations with them. keep your judgments to your self and work on changing their minds about futures. hopefully you will change the family attitude and don't worry so much over physical attributes she will make her own choices concerning her body and accept her for who she is.

Answer 13

Do you do by example or by ridiculing and comparing

it seem like your family could use some counseling  

Answer 14

If she is happy with the way she is, why push YOUR standards onto her

If it gets to the point that its becoming unhealthy, your the parent, you can choose the food available in your house.

I really don't think you should tell her that it's a joke, she would take it the wrong way. If it is what you think it is, she will learn the hard way. But you can be there for the aftermath and help her through it. WITHOUT saying it's because of your weight, I know plenty of beautiful heavy girls and you should tell her the same. That you find her mother beautiful.  

Answer 15

wow. I think your a bit harsh on your wife and your daughter. i understand your job is weight and apperance related but to assume your daughter is lying when she says a cute boy likes her just because shes a bit overweight is cruel!!!  If you daughter wants to loose the weight im SURE you can help her and your wife do so quite easily, but there are much more important things in life then appearance and being popular.  And to admit you picked on "nerds" in school tells me what kind of bully you realy are! Its your daughter, try being supportive!

Answer 16

Don't blow her self confidence... you have to be there to help and comfort her IF it is a joke/prank on his part. Tell her the only way she can go on the date is if the guy picks her up at home AND you get to meet him, or you pick him up and drop him off. If she objects tell her you want to see what the cutest boy in school looks like. When you meet him throw in some passive agressive "treat my daughter like a princess or else", and it might keep him from being a jerk while they are out. You can be supportive and protective at the same time...