Transracial adoption in the US Foster care system?

Question

I saw this article on msnbc this morning and wanted to post it. If the link doesn't work, I apologize in advance!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24832573/

I didn't realize that there wasn't any race awareness training for foster parents who adopt transracially. Our International adoption classes were mostly about racial and cultural awareness and training.

Thoughts?

Answer 1

jennifer..

i agree 100%.  transcultural and transracial adoption is not the same as adopting from one's own culture and race. contrary to what many wish to believe, we are not all the "same" people; hence, our experiences will not be the same.

a couple of examples:

i posted several months ago about a jewish/white woman in my neighborhood who adopted a black girl from foster care. one day while out walking with my daughter, she complimented my daughter's hair and inquired about african-american hair styling.  nobody had told her that stying the hair of a black child was different; hence required training.  not knowing what to do and becoming overwhelmed, she opted to take her to a salon. the stylists chemically processed her hair to make it more "straight and manageable."  the result was that this little girl's hair began to fall out due to the harsh chemicals.

when she saw my daughter's hair (shoulder-length, never chemically processed) she asked if i could give her "tips" on how to style her daughter's hair.  that was about 1 year ago.  i now style the little girl's hair weekly.  and it's no longer breaking off and is very healthy and pretty.  without any chemicals.    although this seems minor, this was a major issue for this mom, who wanted her little girl to be well groomed, yet, didn't understand how to properly style ethnic hair.  

another situation involved a white couple who adopted a black boy from haiti on a blog i belonged to.  the couple lived in a very affluent suburb of philadelphia (doylestown).  their approach was that they would not introduce "race" into their child's life, yet allow him to only see that he's equal to everyone else. although this seems noble (and most black parents do this) what's missing from this teaching is the SOCIETAL HISTORY OF RACISM that this child will inevitably experience.  as ugly of a reality as that might be, to not include the history (and current) reality of racism, and the strategies for dealing with it,  is setting a minority child up for a great deal of heartache.

although i'm disappointed that there is no formal training through the foster care system, i'm not surprised.  many (as the first poster stated, naively) seriously wish to believe that race is not an issue.  trust me, as a woman of color...it remains an issue.  just look at our current democratic primary.

great question!

Answer 2

My husband and I are in the process of adopting through the state, and we are very concerned that there is no training like this. We are open to adopt a child from any background but I do have my concerns from the mild such a styling hair to the major like how will a child feel if he or she is of a different race and how can I honor and teach them about there culture. If anyone has experienced this and has any tips please message me. tnx.

Answer 3

We had training about it, but like all the other training, it was inadequate.  Basically, they give you a short (less than an hour on each subject) overview, and encourage you to learn more on your own.  It's not good enough - none of it is - but since it's the state, they just don't have the funding to do as much as they ought to.  I think they should at the very least give out a list of books, articles, websites, or SOMETHING for prospective foster/adoptive parents to do their own research.

ETA:  Mom5grlz, you are an inspiration.  If we adopt trans-racialy, I'll be giving you a buzz...well, probably quite a few of them!  LOL

Answer 4

Great question - interesting article! WholeLottaCats answer is terrific!

It takes a special person to understand the impacts of adoption on everyone involved. Research is so key to being prepared and many people fail to educate themselves well before entering into commitments - on all sides. Especially in cases of trans-racial, international, older children and special needs; people should have as much education and as many tools as possible to give children of adoption the greatest chance to live well-adjusted and successful lives.

While I am not opposed to adopting children of a different race or nationality, it brings with it a greater possibility of "issues" within the adoption or for the adoptee. While certainly there are cases where this is not a problem, it has caused issues for many others. If extra education could have prevented even a few of these negative situations from happening then it should be a requirement for those types of adoption.

As I have said before, adoptions are as individual as the people involved in them, some are good and some are bad. I tend to feel that people who educate themselves about their situations have fewer problems or are at least able to manage their issues in a more healthful way. There is no such thing as too much education!

Answer 5

It disturbs me greatly that there is no specialized training for transracial adoptions.  I think there should be more mandatory education for all types of adoption.

I do agree that there needs to be some specialized training in transracial adoption. I think there are special considerations that need to be investigated and addressed. Most of us here, evidenced by the fact that we ARE here, and learning and questioning - we're the ones who probably took the time to educate ourselves, read the books, do the research, reach out to find others.  Not everyone does that.

I guess I base this on the changes that have occured for my husband and I since we've been in research mode.  We initially thought we knew pretty much everything we would need to know about race relations when we chose to not put any "restrictions" on race.  I have said, my whole life, that "race doesn't matter to me" - and it hasn't, when it has come to friends, family members, coworkers, boyfriends, bosses, employees. But now we'll be talking about my child. And though it doesn't matter to me what race they are, it sure will matter to them - and therefore it has to matter to me. Because I want them to be proud of who they are, not ignore who they are.  And by saying over and over (even if in my own head) that race didn't matter, it was sort of insulting. Had I not broken out of my comfort zone, read the books I've read, had the more difficult (difficult because I was asking them to be completely honest with me, and talk about things that we all tend to not want to talk about) conversations with friends and family members (who are in interracial marriages and have biracial children), I don't think I would be ready for this. I hadn't really thought before about how I'll be in a "visible family" - and I love to blend into the background - I had to come to the point where I realized that this is going to change everything. The book "Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib" was eye opening for me

This was all at the urging of my agency, but mostly comes from my natural affinity for research. Again - not everyone would do that. If making it an education requirement means that the people who wouldn't naturally read or research or talk about these things now has to, then I'm all for it. In the end, I think it could only benefit the children. Even if it means we have "another hoop" to jump through, another requirement, if it benefits them - I guess I think that's what it is all about.

I think the law, about having to place children with no regard for race or color takes things a little too far in insisting that there be no mention of race or color. You can be sure the child is going to notice, the world at large is going to notice - so why are we not required to receive training in this? As much as some of us wish it weren't true - we live in a world where race matters. We can say it shouldn't be that way, that we don't want to live that way - but we can't escape the fact that for a lot of people, it still very much matters. We can work to change it. But we can't ask kids to live in the world the way we want it to be, we have to be realistic about the way it is - and prepare ourselves, and our children, for it.

Answer 6

I think we make race too big of an issue.

People want to be looked at for who they are and not their skin color....and then they complain we aren't paying attention to their skin color.....its ridiculous.

Answer 7

Very true. We went throught the whole process and were open to any skin color....we brought home a bi-racial child to our caucasian family...with absolutely no mention of his skin color. Frankly, with all of the other stuff that went unmentioned...this wasn't a huge concern of mine, but I do wonder about those parents who aren't committed to learning and teaching about their child's unique culture and identity. I think this will lead to a ton of adopted children who identify as white...as they know nothing of their first parents and little of their culture. We will make a consistent effort to expose our child to various cultures and histories...and focus on teaching him to be proud of his own unique identity....but, no, absolutely no one spoke to us about how/why to make him aware and proud of his own race and culture.

Answer 8

Hi Jennifer,

As you know transracial adoption is near and dear to my heart.  We had little training and cultural awareness the first time we adopted transracially.   We were some of the first couples to adopted transracially thru our agency.  We were a big experiment.  It didn't take long for me to realize that love just isn't enough here in America.  Racism is alive and well, sad to say.

It was my life's mission to learn cultural diversity.  I stopped at nothing.  It was my responsibility to learn how to care for my daughter's, hair, skin, and emotional well being.  Two toddlers and a newborn spending afternoons in predominately African American neighborhoods.  Walking and talking and learning, being told "you're a crazy white woman".  Eventually, welcomed and embraced and befriended.  I made life long friends, stepping outside my comfort zone.  Embracing my daughter's culture is the best thing that has happened to me as a person.  Special thanks to amazing people who took the time out of their lives to educate me.

I have to say great progress and change has occurred since i have started my journey.  Now i can go to book stores and find African American children's books,  now it is not that hard to find black angels,  now i can find black "the last supper" pictures, and now i can find African American hair care products here in town.  There is still a long way to go but its a start.

Knowledge is empowering.  There can never be too much cultural teaching.  Learning to deal with racism is huge for a white person.  We tend to overreact, since we haven't been subjected to it all our lives.  This can be detrimental as little eyes are watching to see how we react.  That is one of the biggest most important issues i can think of.  

Part of preparing your child for adulthood is education.  Not burying your head in the sand and pretending that race doesn't matter.  "We are colorblind."  Well, maybe you are but the big world that you are sending your child off into isn't.  I feel sorry for ill prepared children, they will get the wind knocked out of them before they even get their feet of the ground.