Travel or Children?? What should I do first?!?

Question

I'm 23 and my partner is 27, we have been together for 5years. We own our own place and pay off the mortgage, so already have financial responsibilities, And we are about to start trying for a baby. We are not married yet but an engagement ring is on its way. We want to be younger parents which is why we want to start trying now(but there is other reasons too-we love children and can't wait to have a family!). But I am worried from all the things people say about that you should wait to get married and have children etc. as it ruins your life-you should enjoy your life while your young etc. Also i should mention that we are very happy and in love- i know i will spend my life with him-its just a matter of what order we will do things! I think that I do want to travel one day, but I thought I would do it later and take our child with us so we could experience traveling as a family! I'm confused as i don't know if there is any truth to what people say-is it always better to wait to have children? Please tell me your thoughts!!

Answer 1

It just depends how you want to experience things and if you what is priority to you  Do you want to travel to find the best pubs out htere - like some ppl do.  Or do you want to experience other cultures which you could do as a family? Personally i would rather the later.

My mum had me and my sisters when she was young, and she is now in her 40's and has been to America and a few other places and was able to take us as a family- which she said she enjoyed because she was with her family. But she always told me to get out there and travel before i settle down.  Well, i am expecting my first bub now and i cant wait til he's older to take him to special places which we can experience together.

There is so much time to travel when we're older but if you want to be young parents then thats your choice.  

Good luck with your future  

Answer 2

Go for a couple of trips. It will be harder to do the wild and crazy trips when you have a baby on your hip.

Answer 3

"wait until you get married" is old school of thought , and the divorce rate proves it does nothing to ensure security.  My husband and I had our daughter 1st out of pure "want", but waited on our wedding. No explanations needed, it was what was right for us.  We married 2 years later w/ our daughter in our wedding and we couldnt be more in love.  Plus  - side bar: after all the hard work it is to raise a child emotionally/financially/socially we were even more excited on our wedding day having done all this together and more adamant to marry and be married for life.  We'll be together for 10 years soon, married for 5 and adore eachother.  Now, as for traveling.  Unless you have oodles of money, it will surprisingly become very tight. Even if you think you have all your bases covered.  I paid at one point more for daycare than I did rent/mortgage. (880.00/mo) and this wasnt even the best she was in.  

If you are staying home - does that take away an income?  Do you have family nearby to help? If not, be prepared to never have a break.  emotionally/socially... traveling w/ a child may not be all its cracked up to be. Dont fantasize the idea of having children.  It is hard, tough, and grueling.  Wearing on the strongest of relationships.  Of course, the hardest but best thing you will ever do... but nonetheless, not for someone who is "not sure".  (not saying you are.)  23 is VERY young. I had my daughter at 26 - and now I think that was even pretty young.  I get where your coming from - but travel 1st.  I dont think you can ever regret that...  Plan a year for traveling...see everything you want to. Then plan a year for "kid".  And if you have the kid, you will then know which were the "child friendly" places you'd like to revisit - or go somewhere new.  You'll have your entire life w/ your child. Enjoy traveling w/ you future husband alone. You'll never get that again.  

whichever you decide, good luck to you and yours!

Answer 4

Travel first. If this is something you truly wish to do, then do so without having the children to care for and put first! If you have the children, though they are a joy, though they too will remember the trips and treasure them, you and your mate will enjoy the journey much more alone.

You can always go back WITH the children at a later date, but the funds for travel may end up being used to address family needs then before travel.

besides, wouldn't it be nice to tell your first born they were concieved in-flight above the Pacific?

Answer 5

I would take at least one trip before you have kids.  The fact is, that once you have kids, traveling gets expensive.  Enjoy each other before you enjoy your kids.  Kids do not ruin your life, they just put "your" life on hold while you take care of theirs.  I went to Bermuda right before I got pregnant with my first.  I was satisfied to have seen something other than home.  We go away with the kids, Disney and To the Shore, but it's nice to be alone too.  I'll travel again in a few years.  My kids are 15/10/6.

Answer 6

You can still travel with a child... it's just a lot more work, more expensive and limits the things you can do while on vacation.   I recommend you and your boyfriend get engaged... go on a romantic holiday where you can just sit onthe beach and drink (because you can't do that with kids).  When you get home, plan a wedding... get married... and get pregnant on your wedding night!!

If you're a really good wedding planner and money saver... you could still have a baby by this time next year!!

Answer 7

I am 24 and have a 19 month old son. Luckily I my dad was stationed in Germany and I got to travel and see so many wonderful places. Some people dont have that opportunity. I wouldnt say that having a child ruins your life at all. It is very hard to travel, especially at the age he is now but its not impossible. If I were you I would try to go on a few more special trips and then try. I love being a young mom and I know that in a few years we can really start to travel again with a bit more ease. Just follow your gut. Having children is wonderful and I cant wait til my son is old enough to enjou it iwth us.

Answer 8

I'm 23 and my partner is 28, we are engaged and it really your decision and don't stress about having kids, it your choice. I"m 7 weeks pregnant and I want to have a kid before my partner turns 30. If you want to travel go ahead and if you want to wait till you have a child to travel go ahead. I'm expecting the baby in april and plan on getting married by july, so it really up to you and how you and your partner feels whenever your ready to get married and have a baby is your decision not ares. I think that you shouldn't wait too long to have a kid cause you might have problems by the time your 40 or older