Trembling the poem is for You to read and suggest anything,?

Question

Trembling

The slayer is coming

And sleepless night

Is hunting me with fears

Shaking like an ice

I turn my head left and right

I stumble

And break the shell

Flames

Are getting into me

Eating me up

Anger and anguish

The world is shattering

If I make no sense

So its life I lived

So its days I passed

Knowing nothing

But nothing

Chains are heavy

And they say run

The rain starts to drip

On my wounds

Salty

And sour

Don’t know

If they are crying

Over my dead body

Spirit

Is locked

Into a box

Of toys

Cut my wrist

And let the doll

Bleed to death

Dark path

I m walking towards

And who has the right

To free the monster

From my heart

To destroy

EVErything

Answer 1

Some of my early work was quite similar to this - you've got a rawness and intensity that's quite impressive. Keep it up!

Only reccomendation is to perhaps work on the cadence - you know, the way the poem feels as you read it. Rhythm, and so forth. Although the fact that it's not super-organized does kind of reinforce the feeling behind it!

So just an observation, then...

Answer 2

Oh *ash.remains* this is so Gothic and cool.

Poems like this are great because they represent a universal truth:

We all have Edgar A. Poe's "Imp of the Perverse" in us.

Expressing these feelings so clearly is a gift.

Deiesiera

Answer 3

It's a bit dark isn't it? x