Triad members, are you sick of hearing about "abortion"?

Question

is it just me or is anyone else sick and tired of abortion being tossed around here? the simple "be glad you werent aborted" or "bless you for not aborting" blahblahblah.....

did we not fight and plea to get an 'adoption' catagory? remember this is actually reasonably new. if all these people want to do it preach the evils of abortion, or for some, sing the praises of abortion should they not beg and fight for a catagory all their own where they can throw that word around all they want?

now maybe i am just tired and cranky, but i have had it with that being thrown in our faces. i am not grateful for not being aborted, if i was i wouldnt be here and so it wouldnt matter anyway. i came here to discuss, share and learn more about ADOPTION, thats why its the adoption catagory.

am i just cranky and mean today or do others feel the same way?

sorry if come accross rude, im just so frustrated......

Answer 1

Yes me too. And you aren't coming across as rude.

Answer 2

Phil M made a statement that the choice is to abort or carry to term. AFTER THAT it is to parent or relinquish. This is an accurate yet simple statement and should be repeated OFTEN.

I do not suggest that Phil M or I support or decline abortion. Instead that once past the decision to carry to term abortion is no longer part of the equation. It is at that point a separate issue.

Answer 3

yeah, *yawn yawn*

Answer 4

Unfortunately abortion and adoption are two sides of the same coin. You cant talk about light without talking about darkness. You cant talk about zero without talking about infinity. Now I agree that adoption is being "misused" and is thrown around alot, but you cant ask people to stop talking about abortion on an adoption forum.

Edit: Excuse me... two sides of the same die. Is that better? You could adopt, abort, parent, dump baby in garbage, hysterectomy/be infertile, or abstain from s*x. I admit that I was wrong in thinking that there were only two sides (regardless of the idea of a proverbial coin).

May I add that I dont agree with abortion and wish it wasnt an option, but when some young women get pregnant taht is the first option besides parenting that they think of. Regardless of whether you agree with abortion or not, it is an option for many women. Thus when discussing adoption, you cant be upset with people who are considering abortion when it has become so commonplace now.

Answer 5

Yes Rachael!  Like you & many others, I'm here to discuss adoption.  And adoption reform.  The abortion debate belongs in the Political category.  

Adoption is not the only "option" to abortion.  Oh wait! Maybe that's the reason they've chosen this forum! It's the only option those posters can think of.  

In any case, for many adoptees, abortion wasn't an option for our n. moms.  Though available, it was illegal, expensive, and dangerous.

It's tiring to hear "be glad you weren't aborted".  The comment is especially callous when said to someone who grew up in an abusive home.

ETA: Adore Him...until you have actually LIVED another's life, you really have no business deciding whether or not their life was/is worth the choices OTHER PEOPLE MADE for them. You really just don't get it, my dear!  "Thankful for a life of abuse"?  Well, sure...if YOU say so!

ETA II: Should we also say to all children who survive abuse, "Be grateful you weren't aborted!"...?

Answer 6

Yeppers

I don't think your being mean, rude or nasty either. Adoption has all it's own issues, and no where does abortion come into play in them.

Besides what kind of question is it to ask someone "Do you wish you were aborted instead?"   SHEESH

Answer 7

YESSSSS!!!!

Abortion was NEVER even a thought in my mother's mind when she was pregnant with me.  So what do I have to be grateful for...?  

That she didn't choose what...?

Perhaps the thinking should be more that she even had a right to CHOOSE at all.  Because nobody should dictate how a woman handles her reproductive choices, period.

Answer 8

YES!!!  GAH!  I'm so darn sick and tired of that BS.  Effing rude man.

Answer 9

Yes, indeed!  Abortion was never even considered by my mother.  She wanted me, as did my father and the whole family.

Let's face it, any woman can consider abortion, whether she ends up keeping her baby or not.  How do these non-adopted folks who say these obnoxious comments know for certain that their mothers never considered it, but then decided they could/would go through with the pregnancy and parent?  Well, they don't.  

But, does it matter?  You are here.  If your mother had aborted, you wouldn't be here and the whole silly question would be as obviously moot to the asker as it is to the askee.

Answer 10

It frustrates everyone honestly, you are not just being cranky.  The fact that these people continually post abortion questions in the pregnancy section, and all of its sub categories is disturbing to me.  Anyone with half a brain would realize that those questions are much more appropriate in the Womens Health section, if they are technical questions, The Religion and Spirituality section or Womens Studies, if they are moral questions.  People say that abortion questions concern pregnancy, no they do not, they concern the termination of pregnancy, that is a BIG difference.  It is a routine medical service performed on women exclusively, that makes it a Womens Health issue, not a pregnancy issue.

I have in the past sent over 20 emails to the Yahoo Answers team asking for a separate category for abortion related questions, I have received 20 emails politely saying that they have no plans to make a category specifically for abortion.  They are afraid of backlash.  I think it is ridiculous, and if abortion questions are going to be answered in the pregnancy sections then I think they should be answered with a curt,

"this belongs in the Womens Health area, please put your questions in the correct category."

Another thing that may work is reporting all abortion questions  that end up in the pregnancy sections and adding our comment of it being placed deliberately in the wrong section for the express purpose of igniting a fight.

Answer 11

I know that both the birth mom's of my kids thought of abortion before the chose adoption for their children- because I met them both-  I am frustrated as well, because of the many people who seem to not care that they were given the chance to live- I understand your point to a certain extent- however it is not wrong to be thankful for life.

Answer 12

Perhaps I don't understand your question..but I think it is normal for someone considering abortion or adoption to be on this catagory..I think they would like to know why some chose adoption and are considering it themselves and so they could get good advice.  In every category there are aholes who just want to make someone angry.

Answer 13

Actually, I find that it is adoptees mostly who bring up the "abortion"  questions.  What I am sick of is people who refuse to acknowledge that both abortion and adoption are responses to an unwanted child.  Just because the final decisions are seperated by nine months (usually not that long) doesn't make them completely unrelated to eachother.

Answer 14

although i'm technically not a triad member, i get somewhat annoyed whenever i read "at least your mother gave you life..." i mean serioulsy, WTF??? as if the only other option to adoption is abortion.  have we ever heard of *gasp* PARENTING THE CHILDREN ONE GIVES BIRTH TO?

IMO, it's because these folks lack the ability to come up with a logical retort against people who are critical of adoption.

it's emotionally charged rhetoric...that's all.

ETA: i must vehemently disagree that adoption and abortion are two sides of the same coin. a better comparisan would be adoption or parenting. as these two require a full-term pregnancy and delivery; yet are truly divergent to each other. abortion is in a cat. all by itself.

Answer 15

My daughter's bio mom never considered this (I can't even say the word). It does make me angry to hear those comments made to adoptees. I shutter to think that someone might ever say something like that to my daughter.

ETA:AdoreHim makes a good point. Adopted or not we ALL should be thankful for life. Being thankful or grateful does not always have to be taken in the context of adoption.

Answer 16

LaurieDB:  I am posting to comment on your answer b/c I think it makes a very simple yet strong, valid point.  Anyone who is not adopted can not say for certain that their mother did not ever consider it at some point.  Should they then be grateful?  Say their childhood was a turbulent one...should they still just quit whining and be "grateful" they weren't aborted?  

I am not adopted myself but I can understand everyones frustration on here towards the abortion thing being thrown around.  I think that maybe the way you worded your point would really hit home with people who have no direct experience with adoption or adoptees.  It throws it right back in their face, which, unfortunately at this point is what I think some of these ppl need.

Answer 17

YES, i'm sick and tired of abortion....

This is the ADOPTION category!  Hello?

I feel like it detracts us from the real issues in adoption, such as reform and how best to achieve it.

I refuse to answer anymore questions involving adoption and abortion.  Well, maybe i'll ask them if they can see what finger i'm holding up? lol   Maybe its rude but i'm past the point of caring.  We just seem to be chasing our tails in the same circles.  I want to move forward.

Answer 18

No, I have been sick of the agruement from day one! It is stupid and childish to say such things to someone.

Answer 19

*Possum waves her arm in the air madly*

Sick and tired of it here also Rachael.

Answer 20

So far, the other answers have been very eloquent.  But just another voice to the chorus...  No, Rachael, you are not alone.  Like you, my mother never considered abortion.  Indeed, when she had given birth to me, she didn't even know about abortion.  

This section does help a person get in touch with her or his cranky self.  You're in good company.  :)

Answer 21

Yes, I'm sick of seeing adoptees told to feel grateful they weren't aborted.  It seems that people tend to see only 2 options for an unplanned pregnancy:  adoption or abortion - as if parenting weren't an option - and adoption is considered the "good" choice.  On the other hand, I kind of understand feeling grateful for a woman's decision to give her child life and place her child for adoption rather than have an abortion.  My daughter's birthmother considered abortion.  How could I not feel grateful for the very fact of my daughter's life?  So, for SOME I do see that it IS a decision between abortion and placing for adoption.  

I hope I haven't derailed your point, which I do understand.  Please know that I would never expect my daughter to be "grateful" for circumstances which involve deep loss for her.  No one is born with a debt of gratitude, but some people seem to think adoptees are.

Answer 22

rude and frustrated here with you. Very over the word and act of abortion being related to my adoption.

Answer 23

yes.  abortion was not a choice for my mother, and she throws that fact in my face at every turn.

so my reasons may differ, but i'm over it, all the same.