Tricky question about money/wedding gifts...?

Question

Heres the thing, I know its extremely impolite and rude to mention you would prefer money over gifts, but thats just being honest. My fiance and I have been living together for almost 2 yrs and are getting married in Nov. I have heard if we dont "prefer" gifts we could simply not register at registries, but isnt it just as rude to receive a gift pretend you like it knowing you dont and that you are only gonna try and return it? the majority of people coming to our wedding is family and close friends, I have heard we could just put No boxed gifts on the invitations, but I dont want to seem greedy or rude, however we have 2 toasters and 2 microwaves 2 irons 2 of everything because he had his and I had mine ,the thing is we dont expect any gifts but would rather if people want to give gifts they give it in gift card form or cash...what or how is a good way to approach this "delicate" situation?

Answer 1

No metion on an invite!

Write something on your wedding website

word of mouth, tell those you can like friends and family.  word gets around

Answer 2

Most people give money without anyone having to say anything. The gifts you'll get will be very few, and with everyone knowing you have lived together, they're likely to be something like a bottle of champagne or something else like that.

Give your guests some credit for having both some sense and good taste.  Everything thinks they'll get 2 toasters...don't give it a thought.

we didn't mention anything about gifts, and the very few gifts we got were great things like champagne and art and things that have become quite special to us.

Answer 3

Gift cards are definatly the way to go, for etiquiette's sake.

Answer 4

I would suggest then, that you put "No gifts, please" on the invitation. Or suggest donations to a registered charity.

And you do NOT ask for gifts for your child-to-be!!!

Answer 5

People don't want to buy you baby things for your wedding; they want to buy stuff for you! Plus it's definitly against etiquette.

Otherwise, there is no way to ask for money or no boxed gifts or whatever. You simply cannot do that. Just hope people give you gift receipts.

If people ask you where you're registered or what you need, then it's okay to tell them, well, we don't really need anything, we already have everything.

The best way would be to pick 1 store and register for at least 20 or so things. That couldn't be too hard. Artwork, candles, whatever... because some people will insist on buying you a gift, whether you want it or not, so you might as well find something you'd kinda like to have.

But, don't ask for money.

Answer 6

You already know it's in very poor taste to ask for money. Actually, mentioning any gift or no gift on the invitation is bad manners. To ask for money reeks of greed and is very rude. You should only mentioned where you are registered. The wedding is supposed to be a day that you share your joy with loved ones. It's not supposed to be a day that you hustle for gifts, monetary or otherwise. You should also consider that a guest may buy a gift using a credit card because they don't have money to give. Also, it's not the guests fault that you have two of everything. I'm not sure why you consider this a delicate situation. There is no way to approach it at all. Just enjoy your day with your family and friends and be thankful for any gifts you receive.

Answer 7

If it is close friends and family then have your mother and bridal party spread the word that you would prefer cash gifts. I think word of mouth is the only way to go - I wouldn't print it on the invitations, etc.

Are you going to have a bridal shower? If so most people will probably want to get you a physical gift. I would recommend at least registering for a few things at Bed Bath and Beyond, Macys, or Target - you never know; once you start looking at registry items there might be a lot of items you like or want. At least this way you will be able to return it to the correct store rather than people buying you random gifts that you don't know where they came from...

Answer 8

A girl I work with registered for amazingly expensive things and lots of inexpensive things that she did not want or need. Then, she took them all back to Bed, Bath & Beyond or Macy's and got giftcards for the returns, which she spent on things she wanted for herself, like clothes and jewelry. And the best part is that she TOLD everyone at work what she was going to do! "Do you REALLY think I wanted $300 crystal salt shakers?! h**l no! I want a Coach bag!"

Jaws were on the floor but she DID get what she wanted. I guess if you have guts you could do what she did - just don't go around advertizing it lol.

Most people will give money if you don't register. If you get gifts you don't really like, put them in the re-gift closet for friends or family or donate them to Goodwill. But be grateful for whatever you get.

Good luck...

Answer 9

http://www.bridalshower.com/planning/mon...

http://www.i-do.com.au/weddings/wedding-...

hope these sites help..

Answer 10

This isn't a tricky question - there is no polite way to ask for money. It's completely tacky and offensive to your guests. You can register for the things you want, or you can put "no gifts required" on the invitations and take what you get. However, if you prefer baby gifts, you can certainly register for those items and have your family members spread the word.

Answer 11

I received a wedding invitation requesting gift cards only from 3 or 4 stores.  I was thrilled because I could just run in and pick it up.  Several of us got together and gave them one for several hundred dollars to a furniture store that was on their list.

I don't think it's polite to ask for cash, but gift cards are another story.  You can then write a thank you telling the people what you purchased or will purchase.

Answer 12

With close friends and family it is much easier than with a large group. I just went through the same thing and putting "no boxed gifts" on the invites works fine. We also did only a small registry and told some "key" people that we preferred cash. They made sure to spread the word. Your friends and family know this is your day and won't find it rude if you make this sensible request. Good luck with the wedding.

Answer 13

As a wedding guest it can sometimes be difficult to shop for the bride and groom.  Be aware that some people are uncomfortable giving cash.   I would suggest having a very small registry and have your mom or other close relative pass the word around that you'd prefer cash... that way most people will get the message without the ettiquette no-no.