True or False? Why? What can be done about it?

Question

"The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If a man isn't interested in sharing domestic chores BEFORE the birth of a child then he's likely not to be interested in sharing domestic chores AFTER the birth of a child. So this woman is essentially having the child on her own".

Answer 1

True. Dr Phil is constantly saying that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

Answer 2

This is a funny one. I have no stats etc about this, but have noticed that even guys who have been used to do their own housework to a very high standard drop the ball once they get a live in gf or wife.

Not all, of course, but I would say most.

However, I have also noticed that young guys (the so-called 'dreaded' Gen Z) seem to be more capable of picking up an iron, a bucket or a broom, even if there is a female in the room.

These things change very slowly I suspect, especially when the only carrot to offer is 'equality' or 'pulling your own weight'.

It's not like guys are getting anything extra for doing housework except a social payoff, so the fact that things are changing at all is a credit to those who have found change possible (or maybe their overworked mothers, lol).

Cheers :-)

Answer 3

no, not necessarily, my hates chores but still raised me w mom

Answer 4

Everyone can change, but this is generally true. Ask yourself this. If it bothers you that a man is not active in domestic chores before you have a baby, is it going to stop bothering you when you have the child? Unlikely. Your behaviour and needs are not going to change very quickly, and nor would you expect his to.

With the right motivation, anyone can change their patterns of behaviour, but that can only come from the person changing. In your example, that means the desire really needs to come from him.  

Answer 5

True.

I don't think you have to marry a man that LIKES housework, just one who is caring and willing to share.

Answer 6

true

Answer 7

True, ALSO true is the heart won't grow fonder if you have a child. So having a child in hopes the relationship will grow stronger is a bunch of Hooey.

Answer 8

FALSE. the future consists of new events and happenings, that may influence the circumstances...

a man may be influenced in a positive way by the birth of a child and cares more and more; thus taking more interest and sharing domestic chores...

Answer 9

Pretty much true. What can be done? Marry a man who likes housework.

Answer 10

stereotyping does not work for everything.

it depends upon the personality of the man

u have to know the reason why he does what he does

if he mostly cares about himself then you can be in trouble

if he does not care about u or the baby, then you can be in trouble

if he is slacking for many, many reasons (including the fact that he may just want a mother figure), then he may change when he realizes he is supposed to be a man with responsibilities.

besides, sharing chores and having a child on your own are so unrelated that they don't belong together.  the person having the child had a lot to think about before the pregnancy, so she had time to notice the problem and to stay childless.  u have to consider things like that first. let the man grow up, get rid of him, let time allow the 2 of you to get along better, discuss the future and what is expected.

putting the cart before the horse leaves little room to complain.  can't whine now. you may have to get a couple's counselor.