Trying to Potty train my 3 (going on 4 yr old this novemember) Tried and Tried..Need Help!?

Question

My son is going to be 4 in Novemember and we have been trying to potty train him since he was a little over two years old. I have waited and looked for all the signs.. Like Waking up from his nap with a dry diaper.. Well we haven't been giving him a nap lately so I can't really tell if that is the case or not.

This is what he does- He will go pee in the toliet about half the time if he is naked from the waste down he will always pee either outside or in the toliet but it's only half the time if he is wearing a pull up or underwear.

When he has to go number 2 he will just go. Yesterday we kept him nakie from the waste down all day trying to see if he would go number 2 in the potty.. Well we had to go outside so we put some underwear on him and as soon as we did he pooped in them. So hubby and I figured that he probable held it in all day till we put the underwear on him and then he went.

Answer 1

Just keep trying.  Kids this age need 1. Consistency and 2. Reassurance.

My son was potty trained right before his 3rd birthday.  After months of trying.........he finally just did it himself.

So don't give up, he'll come around.  I found Ice Cream cones worked well for a reward.  My son would go in and go just to get the ice cream.

Answer 2

Roe,

My son was every bit as difficult to train as you described.  My first daughter was hard, and my son was REALLY hard, my third was easy.  There are a lot of other parents experiencing what you are experiencing, so although it is sooo frustrating, you are not alone.  The truth is, you will probably have to monitor him closely for a long time.  I still have to remind my four and five year olds about three times a day because if not they still have accidents.  A few months ago I went to a potty training support group and while we were there my 5 year old had her first accident in about 5 months, it was sooo embarassing.  I think when kids struggle with training this much, they get defeated and start accepting accidents (except the horribly uncomfortable naked ones).

Getting my son trained was like physical therapy with microscopic steps forward each day over a long period of time.  The most useful thing for me was dedicating a few weeks to having no accidents.  I would take him to the bathroom as often as I thought I had to, to prevent them.  It wasn't always peaceful, me hauling a 3 1/2 year old off to the bathroom like-it-or-not, but I tried all the other ways.  Once we got there, he had to give me a couple real pushes (bearing down trying to poo) and try for a drop or two of pee.  That was all I asked and then I would carry him back to whatever he had been doing.  When he would bear down sometimes it unexpectedly triggered a poo and if he was already on the toilet, he would finish there.  We went several weeks with no accidents whatsoever and when I started spacing out the bathroom runs and he had his first accident, he hated it.  It seemed like I got trained to be the police and he got trained to like being dry.  He also had to practice trying to poo so many times on the toilet that he got comfortable enough to actually have his bowel movements there.  With my son I would have him sit on the toilet for 20 minutes while we read each night pushing every few minutes (if he hadn't gone poo yet earlier in the day) and usually that would result in success.  Anyway, there is no quick answer, I think he'll definitely work out his issues with potty training, but that it will be an effort to stay dry for a long time to come.  Just know that it isn't your fault and I think you are a sweet parent to hang in there with him as he goes through this long ordeal.

Answer 3

He may be scared of pooping in the toilet.  My 3 yr old didn't have any problem going p**p in the toilet... but after she goes she's scared it's going to get her. Silly, I know... but he may be scared.  Tell him if he goes p**p in the toilet then he will get a special treat.  Just keep telling him that... then when he does go p**p in the toilet take him to the store and let him pick out a cheap toy, or a snack just for him.  Make a huge deal out of it, that way he will be more inclined to go on a regular basis.

Also, going to daycare helped my little one with potty training.  She wanted to go potty like the other kids so maybe having him be around more kids he'll be more interested in going potty instead of in his pants.

Answer 4

I have the same problem too!!  Only sometimes I can catch him before he poops in his pants.  He gets real quiet usually and tries to go where he thinks I can't get to him.  We've had some issues where his poo wouldn't flush and I think that scared him a little bit and the other day he told me he didn't want to p**p on the potty because his poopy was going to fall too far (he's using a little potty).  I ask him pretty frequently if he has to poo, and I remind him that if he feels like it has to come out he has to sit on the potty.  He's also doing great with the pee part and will also be 4 in November.  My mom told me the p**p part is the hardest and will just take a while.  We started out with character underwear and then we bought him a bunch of underwear that he picked out.  He was told he couldn't wear the new underwear until he stopped pooping in his pants.  It actually worked for a week, then he stopped caring.  I think part of it is just being so busy and not wanting to stop what he's doing.  Good luck, your not in it alone!

Answer 5

hi i have 4 yr old twin boys and i dont think you should be worried.both my boys will pee in the potty but so far #2 is only happening in undies or pull ups.everyone tells me that boys take longer and then even after they start to pee in the potty that it takes awhile to get them to poo in it.

Answer 6

I used to work for a pediatrician.I have a 6 yr old daughter that was potty trained at 18 months old but at night, she doesnt wake up for nothing.It turns out she is a hard sleeper. She doesnt wake up for anything. We also are a little embarrassed about pull ups at night, company, sleepovers, etc.

Here are a few things to try....... Limit liquids before bedtime and make sure they go to the restroom right before bedtime....Before you go to bed, try and get him to go to the bathroom again, even if you have to pick him up while she is half asleep and put her on the toilet.He might go and not even remember.

They say that if your child is a hard sleeper, they will eventually grow out of it. Each child is different and it may be even in the teens till she reaches that point.

Finally, if you are at your wits end, you might want to ask your pediatrician about a pill that also helps with bedwetting.

Dont get discouraged, there are a lot of moms with the same worries and concerns. Hope this helps and good luck.

For potty training during the day............

Have a contest to see who can go potty fastest. Make a game out of it. Example: Mom or Dad sit on potty and tell child let see how fast I can go. Start counting. 1,2,3 etc....

Then when you start going, stop countin. then say lets see if you can beat that number.... let him go.... start counting...... then keep doing what you are doing about praising him

You might want to make a chart....one side says pottied in the toilet or something and the other side can say Oops.

Everytime he does his buissness in the potty, he gets to put a sticker on the i pottied side...... when he doesnt.... show him that YOU get to put an X on the oops side.

Tell him that when he potties in the toilet for  a consecutive amount of times he gets to pick out his very own pair of Big boy pants. (like camo, characters, boxers, briefs,) whatever he likes.

Hopes this helps @^_^@

Answer 7

I have been using the sticker/reward game with my daughter.  If she uses the potty like a big girl she gets a sticker. 1 sticker for pee, 2 for p**p.  After 10 stickers, she gets a new toy, book, movie, etc.

I have also started just putting her in underwear when we are at home.  She loves Dora and Elmo, so that's who is on her panties and we tell her that Dora (or Elmo..whichever she is wearing) would be very upset with her if she peed/pooped on them.

It seems to be working.  She is pretty much pee potty trained, but will occassionally have a p**p accident.  I have heard though that it is more difficult to get them "p**p trained" and boys are harder than girls.

Good luck

Answer 8

Try some incentives with him. I got a sticker board for potty training & after they go they get to put it up on the board. After they hit 10, they got a special day/gift. After a month, I upped the # and pretty soon I didn't have to worry about it anymore.

Answer 9

I know you think you are failing, your doing everything right. Persistence is key. W/ ever you do, don't give up. He will get it. He is also still pretty young. Boys tend to potty later than girls.