Hi there, heres a bit of a story, but I would love some thoughts…..
A few mths ago was delighted to find our that myself and my partner were expecting a bub and due beginning of Dec 08. I was hesitant at first to tell my partner as he had been set up 4 years ago by a women (with slight mental issue that he was unaware of and who is on the sickness benefit as a result, as she is alcohol and medically drug dependant) and lied to about protection her being on the pill and assurances etc and later he faced the phone call many men I guess dread ‘you are going to be a dad’. She was so disturbed she dreamt that she and him were a couple and will one day be together…etc etc – as you can see I am straight to the point and do not have a lot of time for women who set guys up and actually take away from them something that should be very special - to his credit he has done (as I ) everything to help this little baby – we were wanting to bring her up and let her still have access to the mother etc…but subsequently after the mothers inability to look after her and dumping the baby on my partners parents when she wanted to either drink or get with other men, it all became to hard, stress wise and financially to obtain custody. Unlike the mother who had legal aid and the time to drag this on and to my partners parents who became close to the baby and began to dictate to us our access it became a 3 way battle. Lets say this women has destroyed his family and also brought a child in to this world that will not have a normal upbringing – which is what we were offering her – and he no longer has a relationship with his parents who are looking after the child and are treated as babysitters by the mother – they are blinded – anyhow as you can see that winds me up and Im getting off the track here – but it’s a bit of background to see what stress we have been under the past 3 ½ years – if I had only met him earlier this would never have happened, poor guy! so was thrilled to think we would have a baby of our own…
The day after I had it confirmed I had to go into hospital after I got involved in trying to help my dog from being attacked I ended up with some nasty injuries and subsequently had to have 3 epidurals rather than GA as so not to harm the baby and a week in hospital – I was 12 weeks at that stage, so it was all traumatic and after having a miscarriage August last year thought all was fine that I had made it that far. 3 weeks later I had a scan – I went on my own as Im a pretty independent person – little did I know the news Id be faced with…Just on 4mths it was found that everything had developed nicely and I could see ‘his’ feet and hands etc, but his brain had not developed – subsequently 2 days later after a lot of crying etc had the pregnancy medically terminated. We did the ‘deed’ several times over the correct time and had fun and just relaxed…just seems unfair when we were wanting to have this baby that we have been through what we have been and yet ‘God’ lets women keep pregnancies (as above) that are otherwise soul destroying to families – he does work in mysterious unfair ways at times!!.
As a result of the termination it was found I have very rare blood and now have a prescribed 5mg of folic a day (recommended does is 0.8mg) which is a great thing to now know….
Since then I have had a normal period and am now late for my second period by 2 days, had no headache (as I usually do when my period is going to happen) – though I have brown spotting and a bit of a tummy ache there is no blood. I did a First Response pregnancy test this morning and it was negative – so whats up with my body – is it just getting rid of the old crape inside…?? Or could I be pregnant? I want to be but know if I talk my way into thinking that I will get disappointed…..
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