Ttc - how often do you `do it' when ttc and anyone else got a higher drive than their partner?

Question

we want to start seriously trying for a baby but we have never had s*x like every day - it's more like twice a week . i would like to do it more - especially as we want to try for a baby but my husbands drive has never been as high as mine and i think at the most he would manage it say 3 times a week. would this be enough? i just don't think it will happen every day. i feel very down about it hearing about several friends who were doing it like twice a day when trying to get pregnant etc etc is anyone else in the same situation as me ? advice please

Answer 1

The only day you get can pregnant is when you ovulate. The day you ovulate, your body releases the egg. The egg lives a maxium of 24 hours. However, sperm can live up to five days in fertile cervical mucus but most live three days. Your fertile phase are the 3-4 days prior to ovulation, the day of ovulation and the day after ovulation. In order to maximize your chances of getting pregnant, you would have s*x every 24 hours during this time. Unless you think your partner has low sperm count, then you would have s*x every other day during your fertile phase.

In order to know when you ovulate and when you are in your fertile phase, observe your cervical mucus.

In order to get pregnant you need fertile cervical fluid/mucus. The cervical mucus consistency varies through a woman's cycle. The consistency of your cervical mucus changes during the cycle due to hormonal fluctuations. You are considered most fertile when the mucus becomes clear, slippery, and stretchy. Many women compare mucus at this stage to raw egg whites. The amount of this thin mucus will steadily increase until you experience your 'mucus peak'. This is the last day of this phase where the chance of conception is high. It is closely tied to ovulation. During this phase, the sperm's survival rate is higher. Here is some information of cervical mucus.

Stages of Cervical Fluid: Post Menses

Stage 1: Lasting 2 - 3 days CM is Sticky or Gummy

Stage 2: Lasting 2- 4 days: CM is Creamy, Milky, Lotion Like - Beginning of your fertile period

Stage 3: Lasting 1-5 days: Egg white Cervical Fluid - At this time you are very fertile.

Stage 4: Dry, Moist or Sticky (Infertile)

Here is a more detailed description:

http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/cervic...

http://www.fertilityuk.org/nfps401.html - this one has pictures

You do not want to do it too often when trying to conceive.  The sperm needs at least 24 hours to rejuvenate.  At the same time, a man should ejaculate every 3 to 5 days to keep the sperm alive and healthy.  

The only time that matters for you to have s*x is during your fertile phase.  So pay close attention to your body to determine when that is.  You could also chart your basal body temperature or use an OPK to help you determine when you ovulate.  And remember if you have s*x any time during your fertile phase (even if its just once) you have a chance of conceiving.

Answer 2

If you are trying to conceive, your husband's little sperm factories have to have the chance to build up more sperm every time. I have heard of a couple trying to make babies, having intercourse three times a day to make sure , and actually the husband ends up producing so little sperm in each batch  that they are wasting their time.

If you can find out roughly when you ovulate, ( you might be able to do it by checking your temperature first thing in the morning before you get up , with a thermometer) or you might have the thing called a Mittelschmerz. Then you could time intercourse for just before and just after your ovulation

By the way, mittelschmerz is  a pain caused by the actual ovulation itself.  It happens exactly in the middle between a woman's periods, and is an extremely sharp pain in the lower pelvic area which lasts usually only for one second, and may be repeated just once, again just for one second.  Then you have a wonderfully useful signal, and can time a pregnancy precisely to the minute if you do conceive.

Answer 3

Actually, doing the babydance everyday can deplete his sperm count and lessen the chances. I'm in basically the same situation, my boyfriend's drive has never matched mine. But as long as you BD every other day, it keeps your chances good. And that would equal about 3x a week. There's only a 20-25% chance of conception each month between healthy partners. Who knows, because you do it less, you may have an easy time of it. Start marking when you get AF(aunt flow), and try to pinpoint when you OV(ovulate). Do it the days leading up to your expected ovulation time for the best chances. Good lucK!

~BabyDust to you~

Answer 4

There are only about 4 days a month where you fall pregnant (usually about 14 days from the start of your last period) so as long as you do it plenty in those days it doesn't matter the rest of the month! Keep track of your period dates to work out which are your most fertile dates. Good luck!