Two kids who fight nonstop?

Question

My children are a son age 14 and a daughter age 5 and they stop nonstop. I am a college student pursuing a nursing degree and dont have the time or the patients to deal with this all the time . It doesnt matter what I say or do they do not listen untill I have just had all I can take and explode. any suggestions???

Answer 1

That sounds like my sisters kids, 3 boys fighting non stop ages 4, 6, and 8 the younger ones tend to bother the older ones a little more. I usually threaten them and tell them that I am going to make them go to bed early, depending on how loud it gets. My sister went to school for massage therapy and had to do alot of studying as well. You have more control over the 5 year old have her go to bed a little early or when ever you know you have to study as soon as she showers give her a bed time snack and put her to bed. If it's extreme pop her on the back of her hands like 2x it doesn't have to be extreamly hard it'll sting a little and then she'll know mommy really means it don't do this everyday just as a last resort. She'll eventually cry her self to sleep. Your not being mean your just being more stern, as for the older one depending on what he's doing take something that he really likes away from him like the video games and stuff. That would bother him and maybe even grab his attention, then later on you can go on and have him explain what he did wrong and why you took his game away from him. (Action brings Reaction) which means he'll have to earn it back by making different desicions. I've only had to spank my sister kids less than 2 times a year sometimes they test you, so you have to suprise them with a can of whoop ***. Use sparingly kids are going to be kids as long as they respect their elders. If they don't respect you they may not respect anyone else.

Answer 2

start whoopin a**

or if youre against spanking [even though 14 might be old for that] you can

constantly take awya priviliges. and stick to it!

Answer 3

No. Because of the age difference they are always going to argue. My daughters are 12 and 5 they do the same thing. I just really have learned to ignore them unless there arguing is going to harm either one of them. You really just have to keep explaining to both of them that they are family and that there are no refunds or exchanges . Or tell them build a bridge and get over it.

Answer 4

put them in separate rooms to play quietly when they don't get along, have them loose privileges or go to bed early.

Answer 5

Send them to their  rooms before you lose your patience. Patience has to be cultivated. It doesn't just come. Tell them they can stay there until they are ready to behave. Once they calm down, make them apologise to each other and hug. It's also best to find out why they were fighting in the first place and explain how they can resolve the matter on their own. Eg. if they are fighting over the TV remote. Tell them to take turns. One can watch first and the other later or choose something they both want. If they can't resolve it, take away the privilege. They should learn how to resolve problems on their own or you will constantly be the referee. Discipline means teaching your children how to think on their own and you will have to provide them the tools. Sometimes children spend too much time together that they start getting on each other's nerves. I find that if I give them something fun to do (eg. go for a walk, cycle, play something fun), it usually relieves the tension.

Answer 6

Have their dad to help or drop something from your plate so you can be a mother to them.Make them sit and hold hands for 10 minutes each time they fight and tell them if they fight, your going to whip BOTH of them.

Answer 7

Buy a d**n good belt

Answer 8

What I did was at the very first sign of fighting - make them go into separate rooms. But since your children are so far apart in age (mine were close) it might work better to have a long talk with the 14 year old. It has been my experience that when a 14 year old boy is around there is a lot of rowdiness and mock fighting which can get the other child riled up. If you can get one of them to stop the other will calm down.

Answer 9

I deal with 3 children and a disabled husband who requires 24 hour care. I found the time and patience to do so. I found the time and patience to go to school for nursing when my children were newborns and toddlers. You make the time and patience. No offense but your attitude and excuses stink. You explode? Get some anger management classes and learn to deal with children. What do think is going to happen when your a nurse and have unruly patients? You cant explode at a job. Children bicker and fight. More than likely they are doing so because they are bored or looking for attention. Try giving them some structure and some Mom time. You may see a huge difference.

Answer 10

Start taking their stuff away. If that doesn't work, spak them.

Answer 11

A good parent MAKES time to deal with these type of problems even when it is difficult. Good parenting is not easy. It is YOUR responsibility. It is highly likely these problems exist because they are not getting the attention they deserve. A son aged 14 should be made to understand that soon he will become an adult and he should be taking some family responsibilities by caring for his sister even if  his younger sibling is difficult.

Answer 12

Okay when they get into their next fight you need to show them who's boss. Just walk into their room with a big bin and just throw everything they really (toys, iPod, cell phone, video games). Then stick it somewhere he can't get it. After they go 2 days without fighting, they get to pick one thing to get back. Then when everything is back, just remind them what could happen again. If they continue fighting, then take something away again until they have 1 week without fighting  It will work.

Answer 13

OK...you're not going to like this.

You said in your blog you don't have the 'time or patience'!!!

I'm hoping you're doing this for your children.  I think you're doing it for self gratification.  You explode....All parents do, but it seems that you think they're holding you back.  "All you can take", for goodness sake, they're your children.  Make some time and show them you're Mummy not a person who comes home now and again in an assy mood.   Love them for what they are....your children!!!!

Answer 14

As a parent, you are supposed to have the time and the patience... that's what parenting is about.

If this isn't what you wanted, how sad for your children.... they are learning that you are too busy to monitor them, and they are second in your life.

In your place, I'd have questioned why I became preggers .....everyone knows kids use up 36 hours in every 24....everyone.

Of course they don't listen... you have said so much so often with no consequences that your children know know that "adults don't mean what they say."

Advise.  Get into some counseling..  you're in a disfunctional situation.... wait til that son is 16 and gets some girl preggo.  And it will happen.  Got problems now?  Nuttin' in comparison to two years from now.  If you can't control a 14 year old, you don't have a prayer with a 16 year old.....

Answer 15

well i would take and make them sit down togther and hold hands and waatch a moive together they will always fight but draw the line when they do let them argue but if it get to bad punish them make them go to early and make them watch a movie together

Answer 16

take stuff away--now days spanking is illegal and if your 14 yr tells anyone that could be bad just take away privileges and stick to it ----it mite be that he is jealous that you are spending so much attention on school and his sister.... maybe if you do some 1 on 1 time bonding with each then has a whole family things might get better but in some cases you might just have to wait till they are older it mite just be a faze