Two married co-workers having an affair?

Question

I have been married for 10 years and she has been married for 11. She has been with the company 5 months and I have been with the company 10 years. We are great friends in and out of the office meaning we help each other out with each others work and after work a few times a week we go grab a couple of beers at the local bar. We talk about everything from our families, to problems with our spouses, etc. We are always texting or emailing back and forth about everything!

We were on a company trip out of town a month ago and after several drinks she was getting extremely friendly with me. I did deflect her advances until we reached her room where I said 'Good night" to her but she leaned forward to kiss me. I kissed her in return. It was the best kiss I have had in years! It felt like we were kissing for 3 minutes! After that I did walk back to my room. The next morning we did talk a little about it but she didn't want to hear the details cause she was drunk but I told her anyways. She was acting like she was embarrassed.

Since the trip I have regretted not going into her room with her. I can't get her out of my mind. Our work relationship hasn't changed at all but away from work she is bring up extremely intimate subjects when we talk.

Is she playing games with me? I want to ask her what the deal is or at least tell her how I feel but I don't have the courage. I know it's wrong because we are all married and love our spouses, but everything feels so right when I'm with her. I do have feelings I haven't felt in years when I'm with her. Please let me know I'm not the only guy in the world that this is happening to.

Answer 1

Certainly you're not the only guy who is doing this (and let's be honest - you are doing something, something isn't just 'happening' to you).

Ask yourself a few questions before you pursue this further:

How well do you really know this woman...did you know her before she started working at your place of employment or did you just meet five months ago?

How much do you have to lose if this relationship is discovered - your wife? your kids? your house? your job?

What happens if this relationship doesn't go well - if the woman is emotionally dependent....or psycho....or just vindictive?

Sure it's exciting - your hormones are all geared up and you feel like a teenager again.  Having someone flirt with you makes you feel all kinds of attractive - and you don't have to worry about the day to day reality of taking out the trash or paying the bills.  But how attractive will you feel - and how attractive will she look - when you're living in a one bedroom apartment, seeing your kids one weekend a month, and paying enough child support to cover your old mortgage?

If you don't know her well enough to know if she's playing with you, then it's probably not safe to play with her.  Best of luck to you buddy.

Answer 2

i am sure this happens every day to someone, but are u willing to chance your marriage, your job, your integrity and good name for something u can't be sure of, its just the excitement of something new,and if it ruins your life,u will be sorry.

Answer 3

Don't be THAT guy.  Are you really willing to risk:

1. Your wife.

2. Your kids.

3. Your lifestyle.

4. Your job.

5. Your reputation.

6. Your friends.

For a quick roll in the hay with someone who is obviously easy to get into bed?

If she's coming on to you, you have to wonder, who else is she doing it to?

If you put as much energy into your marriage as you are putting into flirting and texting this woman, you'd have a much happier wife and life.

Answer 4

This situation happened to me and we ended up divorcing for each other.  It's not working out too well.  Think it through.  If she can't keep her head about it, you should do the thinking for her.  Affairs have a 5% chance of making it.

Answer 5

You are married. Think of your wife right now!!! You should not be cheating physically or emotionally. You will crush your wife. How would you feel if your wife was doing that? What is wrong with you?! Someone needs to tell your wife what is going on. I hope she looks on the pc and finds this!!!!!

Answer 6

It happens to some of us. No matter how careful or cautious you are.  We are all humans beings too close for comfort in this world.  That happens to me too!  Me and this other chic are crazy to do this, behind our spouses back.

I know.  I am asking for lots of trouble by doing this!  I am risking it, by taking extreme chances.

Answer 7

I'm sorry but it you are already having an emotional affair with this woman. Don't you realize that. No you are not the only person this happens to but if you LOVE your wife you need to end it now.

Answer 8

No she is not playing games.  She is giving you the chance to finish what started.  Do you want to?  Best to think it over carefully.