Two years ago I married a very nice man who did not drink. ?

Question

We dated for 4 years but he started drinking after our wedding. Now when he drinks he becomes mean, nasty, short tempered, and often shows poor judgement in social settings. Example: we were at an affair and he became drunk and left me and started dancing with another man's wife. We had just met the couple and had agreed to get together. Although I appologized to them in email later needless to say they never contacted us again. He has only family and no friends and no social life other than mine. I have told him that I will no longer invite him to be a part of my social life which means I will have to go alone. Unfortunately women are left out of events when they are alone or have to go home early when there is dancing and the event is couples. He is unable to stop drinking. When he is not drinking he is a very nice husband and we have fun but anytime there is alcohol he can not stop himself. We have been married 2 years. I am 60 and he is 50. If he were a nice drunk that would be different. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

problem here is he got married poor fellow

Answer 2

Didn't drink before marriage, being married he drinks like a fish and gets nasty.  I think he has loosen up enough to treat you the way he really feels, "What sobriety conceals, drunkeness reveals!".  

Sorry babe, he is living in regret and escaping through the bottle.  Give him a divorce so he can find happiness and straighten his life out.

Answer 3

This guy is an alcoholic.  He was probably sober when you met him.  No one just starts overnight.  He needs to seek help for himself.  Start going to Al non meetings for yourself.  This is a group of woman/men that have partners that drink or have stopped.  This will help you understand his disease.  Eventually he might start going to AA but at least you can get help for yourself.

Answer 4

you might want to try couples counseling and then the therapist might be able to help you talk him into getting help for his drinking.  

Answer 5

Alcoholics Anonymous is a highly successful and free program.  He can find them in the white pages.

Another option is the prescription of a medication called antabuse.  It makes the person seriously physically ill if he drinks on top of it.

Unfortunately, both these steps require a willingness to change.  If he is unwilling, I highly recommend you videotape him when he is being a mean drunk, show it to him when he is sober, and ask him to please get help.

Answer 6

What is going on with him driving him to drink? He is dealing with something by turning to alcohol. Was he ever alcoholic?

Answer 7

You should look into a support group such as Alanon to help you get through this and figure out how to deal with this problem.

Answer 8

You should sit down and have a discussion about this and his behaviour. Sometimes people change after they get married. Marriage counseling is another alternative as well.

Answer 9

Get him into AA, if he will not go then you should to find ways to help him before you have to divorce him.  Your not too old to find a good man, he is just too immature for you.

Answer 10

Throw his drunken obnoxious *** out.  

Answer 11

He's a drunk... been there, done that... left.

At 50 he ain't changin'  At 60, you ain't gonna change him.  

So you have to decide:  At your age, can you find another?

And is his company better than being alone?

And no one can answer those, but you..............