Typical 1 year old behavior or should I be worried?

Question

Last night my son got really mad at me for not letting him have the dogs food and then he pinched my neck so hard that it brought me to tears. I couldn't get him to stop. He has been doing this a lot when he gets mad, he will really try to hurt you. My babysitter told me that he also did this to her two year old daughter when I mentioned it to her. What can I do to stop him from doing this and is it normal for him to want to hurt anyone like this? A few seconds later you would have never known he was mad because he was just playing and laughing...anyone else experienced this?

Thanks!

Answer 1

Well I am the same as you, not an angry aggressive person, but yet my 2 year old has a thing with pinching! He was also bitting for awhile thank god that has ended!

Anyhow, I have a 3.5 year old who never did this! He is very laid back and even attended preschool for about a year and never picked up these bad habits. Now as far as my two year old..... he has always been at home with me (no preschool) and still does this from time to time when he gets mad. And you can see it in his face that he is really mad!



So with your son I'm assuming that its the same scenario as mine..... its just a phase and its normal. When I talked it over with his pediatrician he said that every child is different and they express their selves in different ways.  He told me just to discipline him as normal as far as time out and eventually he will understand it's he wrong thing to do.

So we'll see...................

Baby # 3 is due at the end of this month, and I do not want this pinching phase to continue! uggghh

Good Luck Hun

Answer 2

It sounds pretty normal to me. My little brother was like that. I would pinch him back and say "owie" or "that hurts" let him know what he is doing and let it be known that its not  good behavior. Take some toys from him or put him on a time out. Kids need some type of discipline or they will walk over you if you let them.

Answer 3

Don't show that you are mad, just say "no no not nice" and shake your head and try to use words that replace his behavior.  He is doing this because he wants to communicate and is getting frustrated because he lacks the words to express what he feels.  So help him.  Teach him the words he wants to say so he can learn.  Say "you want the dog food? say 'i want the dog food mommy,' but you can't eat dog food, it's for the doggie only"  and just repeat phrases that he would want to say over and over.  My 20 month old would give the cat treats and that made her feel like she was part of the feeding process, maybe that would help him understand that there are certain foods for dogs and certain foods that are for people.

edit:  my son was very aggressive and I never laid a hand on him, but I realized I was putting a lot of pressure on him as far as restricting him all day from doing almost everything.  So I learned to pick and choose my battles because I think he was lashing out from the anxiety of me constantly nagging him about this or that.  I also learned not to overreact and say "NO NO NO not nice!" and have a look on my face like he's don't the worse thing in the world, this made my son feel like he is bad and whena  child feels like he is bad he will BE bad.  Now I try to stay calm and not raise my voice and speak to him in a calm but stern voice.  I also calmy punish him accordingly, time out, send to room, take away toys, but your son is too young for that right now.

Answer 4

This behavior is very typical of his age.  A one year old child does not have the ability to communicate his or her feelings through speech, so he will do it through his actions in whatever way he can.  Pinching, hitting, screaming, kicking are all very effective ways to display anger.  It is up to you as his Mother to teach him the appropriate ways to express negative emotion.  Tell him, "No.  Owie. We do not pinch."  

Put him down and give do not give him  attention for one minute.  Since Mom's attention is his #1 goal in life, he will get the picture very quickly!

Answer 5

i personally havent, when my daughter was a year old she never actually got 'angry', or mad, she got fussy, and would cry and stuff but never tried to physically harm someone! lol. maybe talk to his doctor about it.

good luck!

Answer 6

I don't think he's really trying to hurt you because children at that age don't fully understand that concept. They haven't grasped the whole cause and effect thing well enough to actually try to inflict pain. Babies aren't malicious at this age. What he DOES know is that when he pinches you, he gets attention - good or bad. My 15 month old son does things like this and his pediatrician suggested I put him in his highchair facing the corner and ignore him for about a minute. If you discipline him, he might not like it but he's still getting attention. So if you ignore the behavior, he'll realize it isn't worth it and move on.

I hope this helped! I know how frustrating it can be, I have a little tornado of my own! Just hang in there sweetie!

Answer 7

Some are that way inclined and others not...it is not abnormal at all. If he does it again then say NO very firmly... remove him from you, turn your back and ignore him.for a minute or two...which is a LONG time when you are only 1. Ignoring them is the best as they hate it and he will come to assosicate pinching with being ignored...however if you tell him off he will be getting attention...and to a child that age ANY attention is good.

Answer 8

This is perfectly normal, he is testing you, he wants to know who is boss. You need to pull his hand away and tell him in a very stern tone, "No, you don't hurt mommy" and put him down. He will learn who is boss soon enough.

Good luck and don't worry everyone goes through it.

Answer 9

I would not be worried. I am going to tell you at little story about my new puppy. I know that puppies and babies are different, but the concept is the same. By 9 weeks old my pup realized that if she could scare someone, they would leave her alone with her play. So if someone went to pick her up or put her leash on and she didn't want that... she would bite them, or scream bloody murder like she was going to kill you or dry trying. When this happened in the park... people thought I was abusing her. I also thought my dog had a neurological problem and was scared.

But she has no problem and I stepped up to the challenge and trained her out of this. In just 3 days... she has gotten much better and rarely does this.

With ALL living things (like babies and animals) they learn through operational learning. This is that what works for them... they will do. My pup learned that she could play longer by scaring the person that wanted to pick her up. In labratories they have used rats to prove this theory and the rats will push a button for a treat. With people it is the same. Your son is angry and wants you to share his pain, or to get attention, or reaction, or whatever his motivation... he has found something that works for him. A response that makes him feel better when he is angry. He is not evil. He is doing what works for him.

My suggestion is to wait calmly for the next time. When he does this... don't make a sound... say NO and put him down and walk away. This will probably make him more angry.... and I would leave him to cry and be angry. Once he realizes that there is no reward... he will stop.

Answer 10

its very normal. boys exspecialy have tempers. put him in a time out when he does this. if he wont sit there hold him but dont look at him or talk to him and make sure its still a time out with time he will get the point. and he will grow out of it to it just takes a while. good luck

Answer 11

Im not a mom but I've witness this with my little cousins. I dont think  he means to do it its jus that maybe hes learning he can be mad, sad and happy and thinks that thats a normal way to react or the only way to react. You shouldnt be worried.... when my cousin acted out like that my Aunt took a favorite toy of hers away every time till she learned. I mean shes 5 now and sometimes says  things to her mom she doesnt mean but she feels like thats the only thing she can say to get her anger out. Well Good Luck!=)