URGENT.....PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION?

Question

is this a good song

be honest

you'd think im the popular type

well guess again cause im about to cry

im not allowed to go anywhere

somethings stopping me

im about, im about to cry.

why do i have to stay at home

when all my friends are out

they get to do this and that

while i have to sit at home and relax.

you'd think im the popular type

well guess again cause im about to cry

im not allowed to go anywhere

somethings stopping me

im about, im about to cry.

why am i different from anyone else

i've just got a sore back

and i have to relax.

i wanna run away

but im to afraid.

you'd think im the popular type

well guess again cause im about to cry

im not allowed to go anywhere

somethings stopping me

im about, im about to cry.

why can't i run away

why can't i do this and that

why can't i shout out loud

when i can speak to the crowd

you'd think im the popular type

well guess again cause im about to cry

im not allowed to go anywhere

somethings stopping me

im about, im about to cry. x2

Answer 1

it has no poetic or lyrical merit and may god have mercy on your soul. please don't write basic sentences in short choppy lines as if they are important.

Answer 2

No it is not. It is depressing and boring.

Answer 3

ammmmmmmm   have u wrote this.......if u have it's nice   : ))

Answer 4

you are disqualified from using the word urgent

Answer 5

Yes it is it very catchy

Answer 6

if i'm being honest , it's not the best song sorry . but it's ok

Answer 7

I like it.  It has good emotion and a good theme.  

I'd like to make a couple of suggestions. They are simply just that and you can take it or leave it. They are not meant to criticize.  I do like what you've achieved.  The songs hints at feeling angst about having to sit at home even though you're popular and everyone one else is essentially out there doing what you'd like to do, maybe you could use something else besides relax to describe that analogy, like shut in, lock in, shut out, locked out, blocked out, etc.

For example:

why do i have to stay at home

when all my friends are out

they get to do this and that

while i have to sit at home "shut out".

I think the grief, discomfort, sadness, etc. could be more than just about a sore back and you don't have to even name it, we could be left guessing, it could be because of a serious disease, or just because they are afraid to go out like a phobia or depression, or because they have been restricted by their parents. The fact that they are about to cry because they can't get out is pretty heavy and needs something equally serious to balance out the emotion. But you don't have to say what it is, because the description of the feelings can be good enough and there would be an element of darkness with it being left unsaid.

For example:

Why am I different from anyone else?

I've just got to stay here awhile

tucked away from everything.

I wanna run away from all of this pain

but I'm too afraid.

I think overall it's very good. maybe work on the chorus as well, to pull your theme together.  For example: If part of your theme is that your person is shut in, why is it that they have no voice when they speak to a crowd. They are not able to get outside to speak to a crowd, so that is sort of stating the opposite. They can't see the crowds because they are shut in.  Maybe it's a typo?

why can't i shout out loud

"when i can speak to the crowd"

Maybe change it to "I can't see or speak to a crowd" (?) or some variation.

I think you have talent and a good point of view, keep going with it and fine tune it.

I'm not a musician, just a humble person who writes poetry unprofessionally of course.  I would love someday to be a lyricist, as I would never be able to write music and would need to work with a musician to bring my words to life.

Good luck to you! ~J~

Answer 8

It is pretty good. I would listen to it. Just change up a few things, and then it will be perfect. Congrats, you are TALENTED.

Answer 9

I think I would need to hear it with the beat in the background.  That really makes a song.  The words are okay.  I just think they are very high school, but if that is what you are going for it is good.

Answer 10

yh i think it's okay. wat genre is it supposed to be in tho?

Answer 11

did you write it?

are you emo?

its not a bad song for an emo.