US Cops: What are the most unusual/interesting/odd calls you've gone to?

Question

US Cops: What are the most unusual/interesting/odd calls you've gone to?

Answer 1

The most disturbing are maybe the folks who seem to be normal in every other way but who have a single, fixed delusion, usually that someone or some people are always sneaking up on their home. They will see them and describe them and sometimes shoot at them. Sometimes, it's that they're entering their house and moving things or stealing. (But the *** is still there. I thought you said they stole it. --- Oh. They must have brought it back.) They cannot be shaken from this. If you sit all night watching for the intruders, they will call while you're across the street watching and swear that they're there, in the yard right now. It can be people playing music under their house, pumping hazardous waste onto their property (it's only an old water pipe from the well next door), or even more bizarre things. One complained regularly of the communist piano player with the cyanide grenades in her attic. There's always a reason the intruders can get in and out. Sometime it's that they've bribed the alarm company not to call in the door alarm.

These folks function perfectly well and rationally at all other times and at work. I've even found that people I've known for a long time are delusional, and I never suspected, until they began recounting the episodes of intruders. We had once to invite a private investigator to find something else to do. He was taking their money to "guard" them and telling them he had been in a desperate chase with the intruders, but, darn it, they got away from him.  

Answer 2

A naked woman standing in the median of the freeway with candles lined up down the middle and a flashlight in each hand waiting for the aliens to come back, land, and pick her up.

I also had to deal with a lady several times who believed her dead ex-husband was talking to her through the television and was jealous because she was living with Jesus (which was an artificial potted plant), and had his love child, Twiggy (which was a large Christmas bow that she kept tucked into a small toddler bed).  We would go in, take the TV out into the hallway, scream and yell at it, bang around a bit, and tell her we ran her ex-husband away.  We'd give her the TV back and tell her not to plug it in until 8a, which was when the day shift would be on the road taking calls. :-)

Answer 3

There was this guy who painted the toilet seat with epoxy paint. We got a call that his wife was stuck to the seat. We arrived and called the paramedics. As the paramedics arrived the husband tossed his wife his 10 gallon hat to cover herself. A paramedic looked at the wife, then looked at the husband and said, "Well, sir, we can save your wife but I'm afraid the cowboy is a goner."