Ugh, long distance relationship?

Question

Ok, so my best friend's brother is in the air force. He was home in June and we spent a lot of time together and something kind of started between us. When he went back to Louisiana, where he's stationed, a couple weeks ago, we ultimately decided not to let it go anywhere, because he's my best friend's brother, he's only home about one month of the year and he's 7 years older than me.

Before you think he's some creepy pedophile, I am 18 and I have known him a very long time. He most certainly not a pedophile.

Anyways, we've talked on the phone/web cam a lot since he left and neither of us can let the other go. He's a great guy and I have really strong feelings for him, but I don't think this is the kind of relationship I want. I won't see him again until Christmas, and who knows when I'll see him after that. I can't exactly go see him, because I'll be in school.

Somebody please talk some sense into me so I can let this go, or give me some hope and advice to make this work!

Thanks!

Answer 1

your question has the answer .. find someone in school

Answer 2

I'm sorry but long distance relationships are doomed to fail. I wish to death it wasn't true, but sadly it is :(

Answer 3

My boyfriend of 11 months, (a year on the 29th) Just left for the Navy boot camp yesterday. I know I can't talk to him...prolly only on Sundays. And like a week or two. But we are going to stay strong. If you too really want to be together it will work, just don't have any doubts and don't listen to what idiotic people will say. Stuff like "Oh, long term is doomed, he is going to cheat" Blah blah blah. Ya know?

Good luck.

Answer 4

i love when i find things on here that i can REALLY relate too. mainly on this one about the part of not getting to see him. i've been dating a guy for almost two and a half years and today he was sworn into the army. he'll be gone six months. then home for a month, and then most likely stationed in another state. i can't move out w/ him until i turn 18 and i graduate... it's really hard. if youu guys start dating, then it'll really only make it harder. believe me, it suckks. at least a year of my relationship w/ my boyfriend, has been long distance. if youu REALLY like this guy, then youu can prolly make it work, but maybe youu could just come up w/ something like, you'll be able to be "seeing" each other when he's home, but still able to see other ppl when he's away so that your not totally limited, until he gets to come home foreal when his terms up.

if youu think theres a chance to make it work, go for it, cus youu don't wanna have to look back and wonder about it.

youu could also just wait and stay friends of course until he could really come back to stay. it'd prolly be easier, but the easy way isn't always the right way.

:-] good luckk!

Answer 5

Sorry,it will not work. Either he leaves the army or you join him and do online classes.

Answer 6

At 18...I wouldn't be attempting to get into a long distance relationship.  You will be in school which is going to possibly cut down on the time you will be available to him.  Who knows where he will be and what he is doing when he's not around you.  I would maintain a friendship...concentrate on school and getting yourself together first, so in case you decide to get with him, you have things of your own and won't need to depend on him.

Answer 7

I am an Air Force Wife.  Let me tell you that if you don't handle long distance relationships well, then being with someone in the military may not be the life for you.  They are gone for months at a time and it is very challenging to say the least.

That being said, my husband and I spent half of our dating relationship over 200 miles apart (not THAT far, but still.....).  We even planned our wedding while I was in Oklahoma and he was in Kansas.  We lived apart our first month of marriage because he was still working in KS and I was still in school in OK.  Over 6 years later, we are still happily married.  You can make it work if you really want to.  Not all long distance relationships are "doomed to fail".  He joined the military 3 years into our marriage.  It was difficult having to do the long distance relationship again, but when you love someone the way that I love my husband, you do whatever it takes to make your relationship work.  We BOTH feel that way, so it works.

Its only dating.  Why not try it out for awhile?  If its meant to be, it will be.  At least then you'll never look back and think "What if"?

*BTW - I was younger than you when my "boyfriend" moved away and we decided to see if we could make it work.  We were married a year and a half later when I was 18 and he was 22.  Age doesn't have much to do with it.  Its all about maturity.  If the two of you are mature enough to handle this situation the best that you know how, then wonderful things could happen.

Answer 8

Loving a military man isn't exactly easy, is it? :)

I've been married to my husband for almost four years and out of those four we've been together for maybe two. He's been deployed twice and sent to California twice. It's hard, I'm not going to lie to you at all, but we've been through a lot together and it has made our relationship and love stronger. There were days, when he was gone, that I didn't think I'd see him again but I kept reminding myself that he was coming back and he did.

We're now living in MO and had our first baby boy in April. I know there is always a chance he'll be sent away again but we've been there and have done that. Long distance relationships are harder and they challenge you an awful lot. They also make you grow as a person though. If your love can be tested by distance and if you can survive that together then there shouldn't be many other obstacles you cannot get through.

ETA: We were 18 when we started dating and were married at 19, so don't let anyone tell you at your age it cannot work. If you want it to work then go for it. If it doesn't work out at least you know you tried and won't be left wondering "What if...."