Uh........I think we are being forced to ADOPT plz read!!!!!!!!!?

Question

okay so, we have been fostering for our shelter for quite some time a year ago we took in this border collie, she has been with us so long i refer to her as mine, well we had a family lined out for her, and they came and took her well soon after she started having behavioral problems, and wouldn't eat properly, they brought her back the shelter with complaints of her being aggressive, and snapped at their teenage daughter, the humane society called us and asked us to keep her until something "else" could be arranged. she is so good with us,

Could it be seperation anxiety?

will it stop if we give her some space?

should we go ahead a follow through with an all out adoption?

I really want to, but if she could be an only dog and happier with someone else i don't want to keep her from branching out?

I have really bonded with her, but as a foster mom it is my duty to house them and love them but have the strength to give them to their forever home, if anyone could give me some insight on this I would greatly appreciate it. the shelter director jokingly said...well til death do you part.

thanks

Answer 1

A lot of it probably has to with the family that took her.  They may remind her of hard times and/or they seemed to be aggressive (probably the kids).  Border collies are sweet dogs but sometimes high strung...if nothing else, she desn't belong with that family.  If you put her up for adoption again, it would be great if you could find a home reminisce of yours.  MANY dogs can't deal with kids.

Also, they are a herding animal...she may have been nipping in an attempt to herd.  Any times I hear about kids having problems with dogs, I normally think it's the fault of the kids (maybe making a mountain out of a mole hill).

Answer 2

HARD CHOICE. I feel for you. This is exactly why I have 7 dogs. 2 Purebreds that I show and 4 fosters that turned permanent and 1 that I outright adopted to save from being euthed, Many times my fosters went out and had to bounce from home to home to find the right ones. I ended up making a promise if the dog went to more than 2 homes it just stayed with me and I adopted it. I dont do as much fostering anymore because I dont want more dogs. I do occasionally but its one of the hazards of having a large heart and bonds with your fosters.

I even went as far as bringing a dog home from Morocco, Africa on a trip... yeah I cant go anywhere with out picking up animals. I tell ya that was ONE expensive dog. Shes kinda not really grateful either. heheh She loves my vacuum cleaner more than me. Naughty Casablanca

Answer 3

For one thing, you fostered her way too long. Even if you couldn't find her a home she could have been moved to another rescuer. She has bonded with you, and it sounds like you became pretty close to her. Border Collie are pretty loyal pets and like routines in their day to day life. When you sent her away, which you had a right to do, you confused her loyal instincts and destroyed her routine. It also sounds as if the adoptive family wasn't prepared to handle an adopted pet. It requires time, patience, and an understanding of the problems that comes with not only adopting a dog, but an understanding of the breed's need also.She may do well with parent that have a better understanding of her situation and needs. Someone that has room for her to run and play and the time to help her get passed the changes she has to go through. I am sure you will do the right thing for both of you. Good luck and God bless ya.

Answer 4

I think the "keep 'um" fairy is knocking at your door!

I know you meant for her to find a permanant home..  but she's been there a year now and is settled in.. she may not be happier somewhere else.

You fostered her and intended for her to find a permanant home..  any reason why yours cant be that permanant home?  Dont feel bad.. many foster homes have a few "foster failures" that became permanant additions to the household!

Answer 5

The dog obviously loves and wants to be with YOU.  You should be thankful that one of these wonderful animals love you that much.  Love her back and you will be rewarded in so many ways.  

Answer 6

keep her! make her happy.

Answer 7

The dog was probably stressed by the move to another family and who knows how patient and understanding the family was with giving the dog some time to adjust.  Teenage girls can be such drama queens, too.

If you really want her, then adopt her.  It sounds like she is very happy with your home since either she didn't have these "behavior problems"

with you or else you were more patient and tolerant and did see her behavior as a problem.

It's ironic, but we recently started looking for a female border collie to adopt.

Bless you for fostering homeless pets!

Answer 8

Its realy good what your doing, i looked in to it but i dont have any room for more pets.

Most dogs get fussy and wont eat when they go to a new home, they miss their previous owners or feel scared.

As for the aggression some people dont know the difference between rough play and aggression. Every morning my dogs wake up and have a quiet growl/howl i know its not aggressive or if your playing they do it. Or it could have been a sign of give me my space.

I think if you can handle adopting her and still fostering (if thats what you intendid) then go for it, you have had her for a while now seems a shame to unsettle her.

Goodluck in your decision

Answer 9

I guess ulitmately it is up to you.  Only you know your circumstances re. taking in a new dog forever.  You are obviously a terrific dog owner as you take in foster dogs to give them a new start in life.

As someone else said, don't feel forced.  I guess that is easier said than done.  I suppose you have to consider how this dogs fits into your lifestyle and family, and whether you can afford a forever dog.

Good luck with your decision.

Answer 10

I have learned the more a dog is adopted and returned it messes with its head.

I had the same experience. I adopted a street dog  and Australian sheperd,I couldn't keep it after 6 months. He was a great dog. I had to move and could only take one. I found this gal who the dog seemed to love. Within 3 days she called and said she had to bring him back, she said he pooped on the bed and couch and was uncontrolable. I took him back and he was fine,.  He loved me and my dog and ..boyfriend. The dog I said was a street dog. We gave him to someone else. He found us and traveled 20 miles back to us. Three days later I came home to find all Boomers stuff in a bag by the front door. My dog was cowering in the kitchen. My boyfriend had put him down just because the dog left for an hr and came back and it pissed of my boyfriend.

I left him 2 months later...what a jerk.

Whaty I am getting at is it messes with thier head like they have no home.

Keep him and sometimes Foster Moms keeps her kids!

Answer 11

Yes it is hard but remember that if you don't find other homes you will no longer be able to help save lives. Continue on your search let people know that it takes time to adjust. They can't walk into a new job or family and not worry or be afraid. Training while you have her will help her and the new owners, rarely do you see well trained dogs being gave up.

Answer 12

keep her she loves u!!!!

Answer 13

I hate to hear stories of how people bring back dogs to shelters because of behavior problems. So many of those could be fixed with a little bit of training and dedication.

Just like humans, dogs may like some people and not like others. This could be the case here.

However, if it's separation anxiety, there's usually signs like barking and howling, destructive chewing, obsessively following the owner from room to room, and general signs of distress when left alone.

If those symptoms are seen, you can help by making sure she gets plenty of exercise, don't make a big fuss over greeting her, reward her when she's calm and behaving well, and saving affection for when she's behaving.

Sometimes, foster homes do turn into forever homes, so don't worry; you wouldn't be the first. In fact, my dog who is watching me now was actually being fostered by me. We brought him in as a stray, but they didn't have room and so he never left us. :)

Answer 14

Sounds to me like the dog has chosen you. When she went with the other people she just wanted to be with her mommy (you). You make her feel safe and loved and you siad you love her too so the only logical answer here is fill out the adoption papers. It's a girl! :)

Answer 15

Separation Anxiety usually happens when an owner leaves and the dog will wee or poo instantly. And/Or trash the house, eat, ect. I think you should keep her. Congrats on fostering.  

Answer 16

Yes, that's the job, but as it turns out these guys are living, breathing, thinking, feeling creatures and they don't always agree with our plans. One of our pugs is nearly angelic here. Let someone else try to handle him and he is a holy terror.

The border collie has voted.

Congratulations!

Answer 17

Please keep her, she has clearly chosen you.  She needs to be in a home that understands her like you do. I was in your position once with a foster dog we took in. She had been abused and was not very trusting but she bonded with us over a few months. The shelter brought her to an adoption event and found what they thought was "the perfect family" for her. However this family turned out to have no patience and no compassion they left the dog tied up alone in the yard. A few weeks later she ran away and was killed by a car. I regret not keeping her myself every day.

Keep her, I am sure you will never regret it. And remember, "saving a dogs life might not make a big difference in the world, but it makes a world of difference to the dog."

Good luck to you and bless you for your kind works!

Answer 18

i think its only up to you, if you wish to keep this dog around.

don't feel forced into it..

can you see if it could be fostered with another carer for a few weeks to see about her behaviour? unless of course you want to adopt her

maybe the family who took her was making excuses to give her back because they realised the big commitment.