Uh-ho! My little girl doesn't want to start school...?

Question

My mum - her grandma - came round this morning to take my little girl out for the day. When she arrived she was talking to my daughter and asked her if she was looking forward to starting school. My daughter said 'Well, I need to have a chat with mum about that, actually.' I asked her what our chat is going to be about and she said that she's decided that she doesn't want to go to school and would like to stay home like before, instead.

I said we'd have a chat when she gets back from her grandma's this afternoon. I need to comfort her and make her feel good about starting school. I didn't have this problem with my other two children so this is a first for me. She seems to respond well to stories so maybe someone has a story about starting school and everything being alright? Otherwise I'm a bit stumped.

Answer 1

There are lots of books that you can read together. A few are on this link:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Starting-School-...

Try to remain positive, as she will quickly pick up on your vibes. Give her lots of reassurance and point out the good things she will be able to do there.  

Answer 2

Tell her about all the new girls and boys that she will meet and have lots of friends, and lots of fun activities she can do there.

Answer 3

Talk to her about all the things to look forward to at school - like playing games & making new friends etc. Tell her that she can choose what to put in her lunchbag etc & tell her that the teacher will be nice. The first year of school isnt like learning, they play games to learn etc

Answer 4

aww she sounds like a very smart little girl.  I would reasure her, that it's part of being a big girl, that it'll be fun and she'll get to make friends. Make as much hype over it as possible, and always making sure she knows that you'll be right there to pick her up after school and how much fun you'll have talking about her day.  A story is a great idea, or even acting it out like make-believe play.  Good Luck xx

Answer 5

Just tell her that school is great and that you still love her just as much and you can still spend time with her etc.

Answer 6

This is really, really common.  The school will be ready for it, they are well used to kids not being really happy about starting school.  But it will be fun!  Let her know this, and also gently let her know that this is what is going to happen and there is no other option.  This may sound harsh but otherwise the bargaining begins, anyway...

Lots of stories will help.  Do you have a friend with a slightly older child that already goes to school?  You could arrange a playdate and the other child could tell your daughter how cool school is?  Make a big thing of getting uniform- that going to school is a big thing and she is very clever for going to school.  Maybe go out together and buy something she'll need- like a lunchbox or a pencil case.  Make starting school the social event of the season!

Do you have photographs of you at school, smiling?  That might help.  You could have your mom tell her abou how you were nervous on your first day but had a good time.  Maybe you could arrange a little tea party for some of her new friends a few weeks in?  

She will be fine.

Answer 7

Hey I work in reception at a school so I might be able to help.Hopefully. Has your daughter got any friends that are starting at the same time that could help ask the parents if you cold walk to school with them. There are lots of books out there try charlie and lola I have read one of them. The libray should have a selection too.

If your little girl does get upset the worst thing to do is to hang around that just makes leaving harder. I know its hard for parents but your child will be fine. Most children get used to it within a week or so. Keep talking about to her dont leave it. Ask your other children to have a word with her get them to tell her good points and how they found starting school. :) good luck

Answer 8

I had the same prob with my son he was looking forward to it until he realised it was going to be everyday. I sat him down talked all about being with his friends, learning what a good time he would have ect ect even got a book called my first day at school. None of it worked. In the end I told him it was the law he had to go to school like every other kid around and tough. It sounds harsh but somtimes you just have to tell them where they stand. I told him the choice to keep him at home wasnt mine. Then he stopped going on about it. He absolutley loved school and its never been a prob since.

Answer 9

My advice is on her first day pack a very good and fun lunch. Like her favorite sandwich in like a shape like a smiley face and then pack her a favorite fruit and pack like a huge cookie or something and you could go to the store and let her pick out her favorite outfit for her first day of school .



Here a another thing I used with my kid(didn't want to go)

Dear ______________,(her name)

I am sorry you are scared about going to school but at school you make new Friends,learn new things,play with new toys.School will be fun as playing with____________(her favorite toy).I know it may seem scary but mommy and daddy will be very proud of you for going.So to make you seem more excited I will be giving you something very big that only kids that go to school can have.Okay? Good Luck at school __________(her name) and have fun.

                                                              From,

                                                                        The teacher fairy

Put it in her room after she go to be and before you give her the surprise make sure she will go to school.

For her surprise include Her favorite charterack pack a new lunch pail and a small toy and a new box of  crayon or markers for school.

I used this on my daughter and she changed her mind in a flash  about going to school.

Answer 10

Tell her about all the good things (new friends, lots of exciting things to do) and see how she reacts to that. Then try asking her what she's worried about. Chances are that it's one thing and it's a misunderstanding anyway - it may be something as simple as her not knowing what to do if she needs the toilet, for instance. Just reassure her if you know the answer - and if you don't tell her you will speak to the teacher and find out for her.

Answer 11

You shouldn't have told her she was going to school tell her your are going to play with her long lost cousins eventually like she will learn santa is not real she will learn that school could be fun - i guess

Answer 12

Tell her that as a big girl now, this is her job- to go to school and do the best that she can do. Tell her that you did the same thing until you found your real job that you loved the most.- taking care of your children, or the job that you currently have now.

She will have so much more fun than you did because school makes it fun now, etc... And at the end of the day tell her that you want to hear about everything her exciting day had for her . She'll be fine ' I have always had a tradition of taking a 1st day of school picture of my kids on the front porch of our home/homes over the years. My daughter is now in High School and this year she will be picked up from her young love in a car. But he'll have tobe in the pic too. Time goes too fast.

Answer 13

ahh bless her....Home school her, Schools are rubbish anyway.

Answer 14

Tell her the story of the girl who had nothing and lived on the dole because she never bothered going to school for an education.

Chapter 3 is good, it's the bit where mummy goes to court for not ensuring her daughter gets properly educated.

Chapter 9 also a must, that's where she has difficulties in life trying to fit in and ends up with a drug dependent boyfriend and in a council house with her recently shoplifted clothes on..

Hope this helps...

You are an adult, get a grip and look after your child...Thank you..