Umm.. A poem for people who have a reason to read it.?

Question

"Lost" wrote this like a week ago... i would appreciate the opinions.

I'm Lost ,

in a world I once called my own

My brain is confused at the thought

I used to know all of it,

I smelled it,

i breathe it,

i followed it,

i knew it.

Somethings changed.....

Like i don't care much for it anymore

i glance and I've become a stranger here.

Whats happened?

A while its been since i have felt so out of place

Like I was suddenly blindfolded,

and I'm roaming in the dark.

I trip,

i fall,

Now I know nothing at all.

Answer 1

Its nice. but you should edit a bit. you changed tenses in the second stanza. is thats what its called? i forgot. But i totally agree with it. i feel that way sometimes as well.

Answer 2

I`m lost

In a world I called my own

confused and lonely in my home

I used to know it all

I smelled it

I breathed it

I followed it

I knew it

Things changed

I don`t care for it anymore

I reflect I`ve become a stranger here

what happened ?

Its been a while since I felt

so out of place

Was I suddenely blinded

its daylight but I cannot see

and I `m roaming in the dark

I trip I fall

Now I know nothing at all

Answer 3

I liked it!  I love the feeling behind it, you were able to make your feeling come across in the poem nicely.  At first I thought the 10th line seemed a little off, but I read it again and nope I like it all.  Nice work!! :)

Answer 4

this would be mine!

I'm Lost ,

in a world I once called mine

My brain is confused at the thought

I used to know all of it,

i followed it,

i knew it.

Somethings changed.....

Like i don't care much for it anymore

i glance and I've become a stranger in this world

What has happened?

Its been awhile since i have felt so out of place

Like I was suddenly blindfolded,

and I'm roaming in the dark.

i can feal the cold wet floor

i tend to know nothing anymore

i feel so week and so powerless

i am lost

Answer 5

its cool... but its the hole like dog and hog and log and fog stuff less rhymning would be good!!

Answer 6

You express what the many feel, at different ages and for various reasons, And your last line is perfect.

As it is said, the more I know the less I know.

Answer 7

it is really good i like it u should enter it in a contest or something. Best answer for best answer???

Answer 8

I'm at a "loss" for words...

Answer 9

notwithstanding technical details.....how can one improve anothers poetry?if you write what you feel...and the pen touches the paper in the way you are feeling it, then your poem will touch someone else,or even just yourself. if it speaks what you need spoken, even for your ears alone.

and yes, i've felt this way before as well, to have known something once, and then to have forgotten...

Answer 10

I love it. Bloody brilliant! So evocative and the imagery? Wow! Wonderful work...thank you for sharing!

Answer 11

Its really good!! i like the

"I used to know all of it,

I smelled it,

i breathe it,

i followed it,

i knew it."

part! that flows really nicely! :D

Answer 12

I like it

espceially the last stanza.

except taking the 'now' out

of it would make it better

also the question "whats happened' i feel

weakens it.It would be better if an event

happened to make the person lost

losing a loved one by death or breakup would make since :)

but a poem represents who you are so don't change it on my behalf

Answer 13

Very cool.

Answer 14

Never ask for improvements, you'll get them.

It's what you are feeling that comes out in your own unique way.

No two people will say the same thing the same way.

Go with your flow, it is you.

I wish I had a gift with words.

Answer 15

I like : the 2nd paragraph .

I DON'T like : How you ryhme sometimes and don't sometimes . I don't like ryhming , my opinon is it just makes poems sound silly . . . like : The was a cat with a hat who lived with a bat sleeping on a mat . : - ( Gross ) - :

Answer 16

That is soo KOOL!

Answer 17

What is the main point?

Answer 18

I like it. I would suggest throwing something in there like "slipping into darkness" or "slowly fading into nothingness" something in that category, give or take some descriptive words. You want it to be an attention-grabber, eye catching, and so captivating that when people read it they don't want it to stop. I have yet to write a poem like that though. But it's none of my buisness, yours is still good.

Answer 19

ur very talented

Answer 20

this poem is great!!! it expresses some one's feelings.... i too make poems n i think this one is one of the best i seen!!! keep writing it is your gift!!!

Answer 21

breathe should be in past tense in stanza #2 but very good

Answer 22

i like it.

a lot.

Answer 23

i understand it all to well and its wonderful theres nothing to change poetry is art and some like certain types to improve is your opinion but there is no wrong answer in art because it comes from inside and its the only thing we can own truly and that's  our thoughts this is a representation of our selves you did wonderfully and i feel it inside so thanks for sharing your words with us

Answer 24

i like the concept. the only thing i feel is that you ryhme in some places but not all. but i like it. you should check mine out... good job though.