Umm....yeah, advice?

Question

Okay so i am 16yrs old and I would like to be married....someday. Now my parents are divorced and my dad isn't muslim. I told my parents two different stories...i promised my dad that i would wait and i told my mom i wouldn't mind it...My dad doesn't want me to be married until i'm out of school but my mom, ever since i told her i would like to get married (like a billion years ago) she has been so set on finding me a husband....i dont want to upset either one...it doesn't matter to me but if my mom finds me a husband i gotta deal with my dad and if i wait until forever then i gotta deal with my mom's constant questions about why...i asked all of my other family and friends but all answers are distributing different answers (some sided with my dad and some with my mom)

Answer 1

I would side with your father, you are young and being married can limit your life, you have school to finish you might possibly want to go on to college, give it time and I agree with the earlier answer of long engagement  

Answer 2

Long engagement is the answer.  That way your mom and dad will both be happy inshAllah.

Good luck sis, ramadan mubarak!

Answer 3

but what do YOU want?

i'm just leaning towards ur mother becoz our mother has 3 times more right over us than our fathers, and marriage is islamically very good to do while young... but in the end it's your decision, not ur mom's or dad's. u can meet suitors, but u don't need to marry the first one that comes along, marry the one that is right for you- you may find him next week, next year, or 10 yrs from now... u never know when u'll find him so always keep ur mind open.

Answer 4

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

i'm sixteen too. I'll tell you my opinion on this:

I think it's too early to get married. If you get married now you can not finish your education and you will be leaning on a man to support you. Now he might be a great guy he might not and let's for say LA samah Allah (SWT) you two get into arguments and he leavesy ou stranded with your kids where are  are you going to go and do?

And even if oyu say you will finish your education it's practicall  impossible to do so when you;re married.

But i wish you the best of luck Inshallah

Ramadan Mubarek:D

Answer 5

This is my advice:

1. I would not quit school either way; I would also finish college so if you are getting married make sure to put this as a condition in the marriage contract.

2. Never say no until you have thought it over properly. Your mum may come up with a great guy that you really like tomorrow; she may never find anyone; so keep your options open.

3. I'm a proponent of early marriage; you can be married and do all the other stuff you want in your life. You just have to decide what is more important than what and make sure your husband does not have a problem with that. Anything that you think is very important, make sure to make it as a condition in the marriage contract.

4. On the other hand don't get married "because you want to be married", think of it this way: if you married someone really bad (he beats you, he treats you like trash, he does not support you properly, he's ugly, he stinks... you name it) which would you prefer in 30 years time – to be married to trash like that or to be single your entire life? If it's the former then marry the first guy that knocks your door (since marriage is more important than anything else), if it's the latter then make sure to pick the right guy.

5. Don't cross that bridge until you get to it; right now your mum did not find anyone yet - let her look, that's not a bad thing, but you don't have to worry yet; you have to worry when not only she finds someone, but she finds someone you like - that is when you get to the bridge.

6. Assuming she finds someone you like next month, a long engagement is not such a bad idea. You can agree to the marriage, have the marriage contract written but not the wedding; you can say “I’ll marry after I finish high school”. Not a bad idea at all.

Answer 6

i think your a bit to young to get married, but if your mom does find a guy that you like then you shouldn't just get engaged just cuz you wanna get married, take your time, your still young. some day doesnt have to be tomorrow. i think you should get married when you finish getting your diploma becuase if you were to get divorced with him then you can probably manage on your own better than with out one. so wait till you get outta high school and then get married.