Uncle/Aunt stole from Grandpa?

Question

My Aunt and Uncle cared for my Grandparents. Grandma and Grandpa lived in their home for over 13 years. G-ma had a stroke a few years back and went to a nearby nursing home. Aunt and Uncle rarely take G-pa to see G-ma. G-pa sleeps in a cramped 9 x 9 room, with all of his belongings crammed in there. Recently, G-pa got really sick and was hospitalized. He had Shingles (like Chicken Pox) and later developed Encephalitis (like Meningitis). He was severely dehydrated, to the point that his kidneys almost failed. Uncle was Power Of Attorney, but never answers phone, or door. If he does call back (it's hours or days later). Then we discovered that Uncle take all of G-pa's money. We're talking $1800.00/month. Aunt doesn't work, never leaves the house with their kid, and Uncle just recently (this year) got a job after being off work for more than a year. Their son, age 5, isn't even registered in school and they want to home school him. The kid (my cousin) is weird, and seems "socially retarded" and I feel sorry for him. After all of the relatives discovered all this, we wanted to revoke Power of Attorney form Uncle. After G-pa improved and was talking and of "sound mind" he signed papers revoking POA. Now Aunt is sending mean e-mails to my mom (now the current POA) and saying they never stole from G-pa, that G-pa GAVE them the money. Should we all just shut them out of our life or should we go further and get Attorneys involved? G-pa is now in a nursing home, on oxygen, and is upset about how Uncle is treating him and everyone else. G-pa doesn't need to be worrying about anything but getting better, but he has expressed concern for how Uncle is going to "make it" now that he isn't helping them financially. What do we say to G-pa to ease his mind and make him not worry about them? After G-pa is better, he will be staying with my mom. She will love and care for him, and certainly will not steal his money. How can they think they did nothing wrong? And why are they pointing the finger at my mom now?

Answer 1

I think it's appropriate for your family to be upset with your Aunt/Uncle, but that's in the past.  There's nothing that can be done about it.  You should just drop the subject.  Even if you were to involve lawyers, they could easily say they were charging him the $1800.00 in rent, and he still had to pay, even if he was in the hospital.  If the judge would say they have to pay your grandfather back, they won't pay.  They'll pay $5 here, $10 there.  He'll never see the money anyway.  It's just going to cost him more in the end.

If your mother is upset over the emails, she can just delete the ones from your aunt without opening them.  She is not required to be a victim of internet bullying.

As far as easing your gpa's mind.  Didn't your aunt/uncle do fine before they moved in?  Didn't your uncle just get a job?  Is your aunt capable of working?  she could get a part-time job and educate your cousin when she's home.

P.S. (No offense to anyone out there but...) Home schooled children have a tendency to be socially inept.  Since they haven't grown up dealing with other people and backgrounds, they are usually slow to adapt to the public.  He will be like that until he gets into the real world, whenever that may be (Middle school, HS, college....never....)