Question:

Uncomfortable after wedding question?

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We didn't receive any gifts from 3 people that we highly expected to. One person was even in the wedding and asked what we wanted for a gift. We couldn't care less about the fact that we didn't receive gifts from these people, but we would feel terrible if their gifts got lost in the shuffle of the day. Perhaps they forgot? Perhaps they just didn't bring a gift? How should we handle the situation? We absolutely don't want anyone to go "unthanked" who should have been... is it acceptable to send a general "thank you" to them for sharing our day?

Help!

Thanks in advance.

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  1. I'm assuming your question is more about how to handle the situation because you're afraid that you just might have overlooked the gifts and not because you're concerned these people didn't get you something.

    Do a quick search, and possibly call the venues to make sure that you haven't overlooked their gift. If you haven't then just send a little thank you for being a part of your day. If they happen to bring up their gift, then that's when you can let them know you never received it.


  2. I would say yes, send a general thank you note. How long has it been since you got married? You might receive gifts even a few weeks after your wedding, so hopefully it didn't get lost or destroyed.

  3. Wedding gifts can be given throughout the whole first year of a marriage. It could be these few guests simply forgot to bring their gifts with them (I've done that) or they didn't purchase the gift before the wedding (been there too). I suggest you not say anything and give them time. I doubt if anything has been lost or deliberately left out.

  4. Just write a thank you note and say "Thanks for making our day special".




  5. Go for it and it's a nice idea, let them know that there present in sharing the day with you was a good gift.. It's something I am going to do after I get married.  

  6. Wow, aren't we the greedy one.

    Who cares?

    Is this why you got married?

    You are sitting here trying to put these people in order of 'who loves us the most' based on what they gave you, whether you admit it or not.

    Maybe some of these people are having severe financial difficulties at the moment.

    Maybe even something that came up AFTER this person asked you what you wanted.

    It doesn't matter. They gave what they gave, or didn't what they didn't.

    And you are going to hurt people's feelings, AND appear incredibly shallow if you bring this up at all to any of them.

    No matter what you say, or how you say it, it's going to sound like "hey, what's the deal, you didn't give us anything".


  7. Send a thank you that says you were so glad they were there to share in your special day. If they did give you a gift, they'll realize you didn't mention it, and will follow up to make sure you received it. And if they didn't get you a gift, then you will have done the right thing by sending a gracious note thanking them for their attendance.

  8. You can't really thank someone who doesn't appear to have given you a gift and we don't send thank you notes to guests thanking them for attending since you do that at the wedding verbally. Sending them a thank you note without mentioning the gift could be insulting if they sent one and embarrassing if they didn't. It would be insinuating they should have sent something.

    Perhaps they are misguided and are under the impression that they have up to a year to send a wedding gift (obviously that is not the case). Or maybe the gift was lost or separated from it's card? Who knows? In any event, you received no gift so you won't send a note.

    This is the main reason all wedding gifts should be sent to the home of the bride before the wedding.

  9. A gracious 'thank you for coming and sharing our day' would be appropriate.  If the recipient DID give a gift and saw nothing mentioned in the note, they would ask you if you received the 'whatever'.


  10. I saw a very good answer to this a couple days ago send them a "thank you for sharing our day" note and if they had brought a gift they will inquire either directly or through channels as to if you received it


  11. A general thank-you is a lovely idea. Look, we're all human and I understand feeling surprised about not getting gifts from people you expected to get gifts from. Yes, I know we should never 'expect' gifts, but generally people who come to your wedding get you a little something. They could be under the misapprehension (like another person who answered) that you have up to a year to give a wedding gift (not true). The person who was in the wedding may have forgotten to bring it with them.


  12. I'd say the general "thank you" is a nice idea.

    Just send them a card to say how much it means to you that they were there to share your special day. Add a few personal details and I think you'll have a lovely, appropriate thank you card!

    Make sure you hand write them and make sure the message is a little different and personal in each one so it doesn't feel generalised.

    If they are a good friend, it'll mean a lot :)

  13. Yes, it is always proper etiquette to send someone a thank you note just for sharing your day with you. You could even add a "for everything you have done to make our day  special" or something like that. I certainly understand where you are coming from. Congratulations!



  14. Are you happily married? Well I'm sure your answer is yes...that's all that should matter. Our country is going through a depression right now. People are decidinwhetherer to buy gas or buy food...and not only that; our country is still at war; and you're trying to figure out who bought what...it didn't matter to me who bought what; it was aopportunityty for all our family & friends to come together & celebrate me and my husband's union...and just for that; everyone received thank you cards...

  15. send a general "thank you" to them for sharing your day. If you don't mention the gift and there was a problem, they will let you know.

    Something like this happened to us-- it turns out the gift had gotten destroyed in shipping so she (a family member) ordered a new one, which took 3-4 weeks to be replaced, due to the shipping issue.  We received it about 5 weeks after the wedding. You never know. Most people DO give a wedding gift, so go ahead and send them a note.

  16. Maybe they thought being in your wedding was a gift in its self. Maybe they were short on money but they wanted to get you a gift, whatever you do don't ask if they got you a gift, but send everyone in your wedding party a thank you card saying thank you for being there on our day. GOOD LUCK and Congrats on your wedding.  

  17. You can just send them a thank-you for attending the wedding, yes. Don't make it obvious that you noticed you didn't receive a gift from them, though.

  18. A general thanks for sharing our day is what you should do. Two reasons. One, they did come and support you. Two, if they did send a gift and it got lost, they would realize that you never got it when they read your note which does not mention their gift. In that case, they can correct the situation. And if you dont hear anything from them, it means they did not send any gift. Mystery solved.

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