Uncomfortable situation, need advice...?

Question

My mother in law is very close with my husband's ex girlfriend. The ex was kind of a stalker early on in our relationship, she moved right across the street from him, started dating his roommate and flaunting herself, also dated 2 other really good friends of his. The whole time we were kind of weirded out, kept our distance, and backed away from the situation. Well, now, 4 years later, his mother is still going to lunch with this girl, inviting her to her home, ect. I know this because she announces it to everyone when I am present. Talks about hilarious things the girl said, and brings up funny stories that include her. I find it odd that she feels the need to throw this friendship in my face by bringing it up everytime I am around (which is about once a month). I am also a bit resentful that she has never invited me over or out to lunch, in fact, we have absolutely no relationship. We are friendly but it is obvious that something is in the way. I am also kind of upset that my husband has allowed this unhealthy habit to form, and has let his mother make me feel like I don't hold up in comparison. What would you do?

Answer 1

wow, that sounds awful. you definitely don't want to get in the middle of that. it seems like you are just trying to make the best of it and not let it bother you when you are around her which is probably what i would do too. if you want to try and develop a relationship with his mother, you could try asking her if she would like to go out to lunch with you sometime. i would avoid bringing the ex up though because you don't want to start a fight. that could make things a lot worse. if you don't want to have a relationship with her, then just let it go. but it is possible that as the two of you get closer that she may stop seeing the ex and realize how wonderful you are. your husband already did! good luck.

Answer 2

well first- your mother in law probably feels like his ex is like a daughter to her and you were the "new girl"... it sucks, i know... what you should do is offer to take her out to eat, keep the ex out of conversation.. if she says she is doing something that day just keep saying well what about another day..and set it up for another day. If she makes an excuse for that then just flat out ask her why she treats you so differently when you are married to her son?